The Diary of a Secret Binge Eater

M

MrsPopi

Banned
Tonight is the night I face it. After three days of SERIOUS binge eating I am going to tell my husband. This has been happening for months and months and its time it got halted before I become too overweight. (Please note my stats are incorrect)

I reached 6 Stone 8 on our wedding day in August and since I have got into a viscious cycle of binge eating and restricting.

I am away in London for the weekend, with the hubby. We are going to see Faithless at the O2. I know the weekend wont be a problem as time with my husband is always manageable, its the time on my own that I struggle (when at work, when home alone).

It has to be beat. I have an appointment with the mental health team in my area next Tuesday, so I am hoping they will be able to shed some light and assist me with my 'head' issues.

Will update on Monday - following my return.
 
Same here girls. Its a bloomin nightmare. You are doing the right thing by telling your hubby. Its easier to control when someone knows about it and can help you. Just try not to turn into a secret eater.

I was bulemic for years too Valerie and although I got the purging under control the binge eating stayed with me. Now I am dieting though, sometimes when I do have a binge the habit of purging pops its ugly head up, but its only every now and then. Its one of those things I think never fully goes away. Shame.

xxx
 
You must tell him. he obviously loves you and will help you. If you tell him its the beginning of the help you are going to get and need.
 
Well, we returned last night after a very successful and enjoyable weekend. My food intake was as follows:

Friday
Bran Flakes with water
Jacket Potato and salad
Apple and an orange

Saturday
Apple
Apple fries and Chicken Bun (no burger or sauce)
McDonald Chicken Salad Deli (without the mayo or chicken)

Sunday
Shreddies with water
McDonald Chicken Salad Deli (without the mayo or chicken)
Half a pot of mushy peas

So, things have been going well. Just hope I can keep it up now. Got on the scales this morning and they are 1lb out. I am 113lb! Woop!

I did lots of walking and enjoyed London hugely. Who would have thought Greenwich would have been such a lovely place!
 
Hi Miss Popi

By heck you have some will power eating as little as that. You can probally eat more you know, just make sure choose healthy things. If you eat less that about 1000 calories a day your body will go into starvation mode. Yes you'll lose the weight but then you end up gaining it back, plus more. Its a horrible cycle to end up in. Trust me.

How you feeling in youself? I bet you are buzzing after being so extra good for a few days. Stay focused, you can do it :) xxx
 
I am feeling much much better today. In a better mood - feel more supported, everything! So much to the point that I think I will be wasting the NHS's money tomorrow by going to my appointment. What do you think? Should I still go feeling like I am?

Monday
Bran Flakes with water
Satsuma, yogurt, fat free jelly pot
Vegetable soup
 
Last edited:
That is way too little calories. You need to go get some help.
 
Hi again Miss Popi

Defo still go to the docs. You may feel okay today but you never know how you will be feeling next week or next month, etc. I used to stop going to the docs when ever I felt OK but you can guarentee I'd end up back at square one.

Vicky is right too hun, you need more calories. If you dont increase your food you could end up with a terrible eating disorder or end up having a mojor binge. I know you probally feel anxious or guilty if you eat over a certian amount (I still get a bit like that), but you wont put any weught on if you stick to sensible food and you will still lose weight (just not mega quick) xxx
 
Please go to your appointment. You are already at the very bottom end of the healthy weight for your height, and are trying to survive on a very, very low calorie intake. You need to make sure you are looking after your health in all its forms - physical and mental. Please take care.
 
The mental health team today measured me at just over 5 foot 6. So, 5 foot 6 and a half. They weighed me too and concluded that my BMI was still in the underweight category - although not as bad as it was!

Basically, the appointment was a waste of time, they didnt know why the doctor had referred me, didnt know what they were dealing with and just fobbed me off. I feel no different now to when I came into work this morning. They did nothing and have said they dont want to see me again.
 
Didnt you tell them the way you feel/are feeling?
Why are you needing to diet when you are obviosuly underweight hon?
 
I explained the way I felt/am feeling and they seem to think I did have an issue but I am overcoming it myself and am going the right way about it.

I guess I will just have to look at google to find ways to help me reduce the binges.... any body recommend anything I would find useful?
 
Maybe you should try only keeping healthy snacks in the house/at work. Lots of fruit and veg. Then if you do feel a binge coming on you'll only have that food to choose from.

I don't think you should lose any more weight. Either maintain or just try and put a little more on so you are in the healthy range.

As for the doctors, go and get a second opinion, ask for your GP to refer you somewhere else. Or maybe there's an eating disorder charity in your area that can help.

Good luck x
 
Hi Miss Popi

You are the same hight as me. There is no way you should get down to 98lb. That is far far to thin. At my thinest I was 8 stone 4 lb and I thought I was fat. Its not until now I look back and relise how wrong I was. I was far to small.

You could actually put weight on and still be very slim.

You defo do not need to diet. Dieting will only cause more binge episodes for you. Just maintain your weight, eat sensibly, but allow yourself treats. Just try not to go OTT.

Thats shocking how the mental health team just dismissed you like that. I hope you are coping better but we are always here to talk to hunny xxx
 
I knew they would to be honest; hence why I was so against the appointment. I knew it would be a waste of time, and it was!

Looks like I am on my own. Clearly there is nothing wrong and I dont have any 'issues'.
 
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