The diary of a spod.
- Thread starter spod
- Start date
spod
needs to get out more!
Marmite rules. Paddington Bear likes it, so end of discussion.
Had wicked time at school! Saw panto which was AWFUL. Seriously bad. The Krankies were just horrendous!!!!! Kids laughed at everything, but there is no way they would have understood some of it. Teachers cringed. It was funny.
Then went to Frankie and Bennies for tea with 3 of my friends. I have so missed them its unbelieavle. Hadnt realised how much until I saw them.
My house is ok, no squatters or anything awful by the looks of it (not been in it yet tho), so thats a weight off my mind too. Its been empty for 5 months, so I was a bit concerned!
Sad news tho. 2 of my cats who went to live with friends have died. One was an old lady but my little one was only 18 months. Poor kitten. My friend looked mortified when she was telling me, apparently she has been psyching herself up....
feisty is back good and proper. eveyone said I seemed much happier and everyone noticed my weight loss!!!! Woohoo!!! V. pleased with that. (but it is nearly 3 stone, so its quite noticable now).
Had absolutely fab time and much needed gossiping going on.
Hope you are all ok and enjoying my Christmassy colour writing. woo!!!
xx
Had wicked time at school! Saw panto which was AWFUL. Seriously bad. The Krankies were just horrendous!!!!! Kids laughed at everything, but there is no way they would have understood some of it. Teachers cringed. It was funny.
Then went to Frankie and Bennies for tea with 3 of my friends. I have so missed them its unbelieavle. Hadnt realised how much until I saw them.
My house is ok, no squatters or anything awful by the looks of it (not been in it yet tho), so thats a weight off my mind too. Its been empty for 5 months, so I was a bit concerned!
Sad news tho. 2 of my cats who went to live with friends have died. One was an old lady but my little one was only 18 months. Poor kitten. My friend looked mortified when she was telling me, apparently she has been psyching herself up....
feisty is back good and proper. eveyone said I seemed much happier and everyone noticed my weight loss!!!! Woohoo!!! V. pleased with that. (but it is nearly 3 stone, so its quite noticable now).
Had absolutely fab time and much needed gossiping going on.
Hope you are all ok and enjoying my Christmassy colour writing. woo!!!
xx
spod
needs to get out more!
Have been asked for a divorce, have put on 1 kg, have discovered I am financially up the creek without a paddle and I am job less.
Cant believe what a mess I have made of everything. This time last year I had a career, a house, a husband, cats and now I am living at my parents house with 5 boxes of belongings, a whole load of debt with possibly more that I dont know about, which I will be paying off for the next god knows how many years and applying for jobs that start in January, just so I can keep my head above water and maybe, just maybe, possibly not lose my house.
For the first time since I have been back I feel really down. Think the enormity of it all has finally sunk in. Its such a mess.
Cant believe what a mess I have made of everything. This time last year I had a career, a house, a husband, cats and now I am living at my parents house with 5 boxes of belongings, a whole load of debt with possibly more that I dont know about, which I will be paying off for the next god knows how many years and applying for jobs that start in January, just so I can keep my head above water and maybe, just maybe, possibly not lose my house.
For the first time since I have been back I feel really down. Think the enormity of it all has finally sunk in. Its such a mess.
BBlilsis
My 3 Furry Amigos
:gen126: Spod, your dear darling OH has done this to you, please stop blaming yourself, you should be directing your anger at him, all the changes over the past year have been led by his wishes, hes then treated you like a piece of sh!t on the bottom of his shoe, landed you in this mess and is now looking for a divorce :grouphugg:
spod
needs to get out more!
Hi,
Sorry to be so down earlier. Feeling cr*ppy tday, but I will get good days and bad days I guess. Half my message wasnt posted, so it sounds worse than it is really! (if that is possible...)
To stop you all worrying - I have been absent due to applying for jobs and trying to update my portfolio using possibly the world's slowest scanner and computer, not cos of anything worse.
Have been really up beat until this morning, but like I said the enormity of the mess has hit me.
Been trying to organise stuff over the last few days.
I am not sure of any other debts that are owed, but I need to get in to my house first. Have found what I think are the keys, so thats a start (if not its a locksmith job)....fingers crossed.
Cate - feisty is back and will be staying. I wont let him get me down for long. I am in mid Cheshire, about 30mins from Chester. I teach primary which is SO much fun. Have really missed it; thats why feisty is back - need to concentrate on me & career - gave it up for him and was all a huge mistake.
mommyb - Hi! Will be moving back to the Black Country in the new year (with job hopefully) - love it round there! Sorry that you have been through similar - it sucks!
Lily - I am with him and I am angry with myself and the mess I have made because it wasnt right for a while and I should have listened to my gut instinct and I didnt. Its never wrong so why dont I listen to it???! Had misgivings about a few things, but ignored them. (and now he has the cheek to turn round and say that I dont support him?????)
Silence - I had decided to take the job and move back there, but since I have been home and seen everyone and seen another side to stuff (via friends), I really dont want to go back. it would be far better financially to go and then send money home, but I have realised how much I want to be here.
My head says go back and save money for the future now you have to support yourself, but my heart says stay here.
I have loved being there and experiencing new stuff, but I want to put some roots down. I am exhausted and just want a quiet life for a while.
Its so confusing. It also sounds as if the job was only offered to me because of him. I dont want that. I have been told to grow up, so thats what I am doing.
Its the Winter Solstice today and a new year starts tomorrow. Have been out and taken a photo of the sunset, will do the same tomorrow with the sunrise. Its a new dawn, a new day, a new life for me and I'm (working on) feeling good.
Going to listen to that on youtube now.
What other single / I dont need a man songs are there?
I can only think of 'I will survive'...
Hope you are all ok and please dont worry, 'cos I am ok and everything happens for a reason.
Happy Winter Solstice!
xx
Sorry to be so down earlier. Feeling cr*ppy tday, but I will get good days and bad days I guess. Half my message wasnt posted, so it sounds worse than it is really! (if that is possible...)
To stop you all worrying - I have been absent due to applying for jobs and trying to update my portfolio using possibly the world's slowest scanner and computer, not cos of anything worse.
Have been really up beat until this morning, but like I said the enormity of the mess has hit me.
Been trying to organise stuff over the last few days.
I am not sure of any other debts that are owed, but I need to get in to my house first. Have found what I think are the keys, so thats a start (if not its a locksmith job)....fingers crossed.
Cate - feisty is back and will be staying. I wont let him get me down for long. I am in mid Cheshire, about 30mins from Chester. I teach primary which is SO much fun. Have really missed it; thats why feisty is back - need to concentrate on me & career - gave it up for him and was all a huge mistake.
mommyb - Hi! Will be moving back to the Black Country in the new year (with job hopefully) - love it round there! Sorry that you have been through similar - it sucks!
Lily - I am with him and I am angry with myself and the mess I have made because it wasnt right for a while and I should have listened to my gut instinct and I didnt. Its never wrong so why dont I listen to it???! Had misgivings about a few things, but ignored them. (and now he has the cheek to turn round and say that I dont support him?????)
Silence - I had decided to take the job and move back there, but since I have been home and seen everyone and seen another side to stuff (via friends), I really dont want to go back. it would be far better financially to go and then send money home, but I have realised how much I want to be here.
My head says go back and save money for the future now you have to support yourself, but my heart says stay here.
I have loved being there and experiencing new stuff, but I want to put some roots down. I am exhausted and just want a quiet life for a while.
Its so confusing. It also sounds as if the job was only offered to me because of him. I dont want that. I have been told to grow up, so thats what I am doing.
Its the Winter Solstice today and a new year starts tomorrow. Have been out and taken a photo of the sunset, will do the same tomorrow with the sunrise. Its a new dawn, a new day, a new life for me and I'm (working on) feeling good.
Going to listen to that on youtube now.
What other single / I dont need a man songs are there?
I can only think of 'I will survive'...
Hope you are all ok and please dont worry, 'cos I am ok and everything happens for a reason.
Happy Winter Solstice!
xx
abz
Gold Member
hey there honey. i've been away for the weekend and wanted to come and see how you were doing.
sorry to hear about how things have turned out but you are absolutely right to do what YOU want and what YOU need. one person is never to blame in these things so stop beating yourself up. if you can get a teaching job over here, and here is where you want to stay then fantastic. but if working in the short term in china would help take some of the load off, and the financial stress off, it may be worth considering for a little while? i just know that financial stress can bring you right down.
have you found any jobs that you really want?
loads of hugs honey.
abz xx
sorry to hear about how things have turned out but you are absolutely right to do what YOU want and what YOU need. one person is never to blame in these things so stop beating yourself up. if you can get a teaching job over here, and here is where you want to stay then fantastic. but if working in the short term in china would help take some of the load off, and the financial stress off, it may be worth considering for a little while? i just know that financial stress can bring you right down.
have you found any jobs that you really want?
loads of hugs honey.
abz xx
Hi Megan, Sorry you got that news from him. You will get bad days and you will feel like sh1t sometimes. But you know something you got a lot of strength going on there and you will get through this. Put yourself first and hey you don't need to grow up. You're a feisty mature woman! Sisters are doing it for themselves, Aretha and Annie Lennox, fab song for fiesty mode. xxxxx
Hi hun, to be honest he is doing you a favour IMO as you are so fixed into looking after him mode that you would probably never make the break and just have continued exhausting yourself trying.
Sorry if you think I'm cheeky butting in and saying this but it will do you good to spend some time worrying about yourself for a change. Although I do know it hurts like hell x
Sorry if you think I'm cheeky butting in and saying this but it will do you good to spend some time worrying about yourself for a change. Although I do know it hurts like hell x
spod
needs to get out more!
Hello There!!!!
Hope you all had a fabulous Chrimbo. Was lovely to log on today and find messages cos I haven't been anywhere near a computer in quite a few days..... (a week possibly?????) Have thought about you all and hoped you were having a lovely time too.
Spoke to ex yesterday and he wants to divorce as quickly as possilbe as its not good for his name or the company in Chinese culture for him to be separated. Married / Divorced - all good, separated - not acceptable. I think there is more to it than that....the phrase "I swear he doth protest too much..." keeps popping in to my mind with certain things he is saying!
Its not getting me down tho. Cant wait to get back on my feet - have applied for jobs and feeling hopeful.
I had a lovely, lovely time with my family. Its been really relaxing.
I am going to stop this diary and start a new one in the members only section as I asked for it to be moved and hasnt, so its seems better to start a new year where lots of things are new, in a new diary!
Hope you all have a fabulous evening. I am staying home and doing nothing. I feel ok, but had really bad migraine last night & not in the mood for celebrating. I want to wake up early tomorrow after a good sleep and take a photo of the sunrise of the start of 2009. (lets hope its a good one - lots of pretty colours and frostiness).
See you in 2009 - and in a new diary!
Thank you all for being there so much these past few months.
xx
Hope you all had a fabulous Chrimbo. Was lovely to log on today and find messages cos I haven't been anywhere near a computer in quite a few days..... (a week possibly?????) Have thought about you all and hoped you were having a lovely time too.
Spoke to ex yesterday and he wants to divorce as quickly as possilbe as its not good for his name or the company in Chinese culture for him to be separated. Married / Divorced - all good, separated - not acceptable. I think there is more to it than that....the phrase "I swear he doth protest too much..." keeps popping in to my mind with certain things he is saying!
Its not getting me down tho. Cant wait to get back on my feet - have applied for jobs and feeling hopeful.
I had a lovely, lovely time with my family. Its been really relaxing.
I am going to stop this diary and start a new one in the members only section as I asked for it to be moved and hasnt, so its seems better to start a new year where lots of things are new, in a new diary!
Hope you all have a fabulous evening. I am staying home and doing nothing. I feel ok, but had really bad migraine last night & not in the mood for celebrating. I want to wake up early tomorrow after a good sleep and take a photo of the sunrise of the start of 2009. (lets hope its a good one - lots of pretty colours and frostiness).
See you in 2009 - and in a new diary!
Thank you all for being there so much these past few months.
xx
