The diary of a spod.

This is true, shes not posted for a few days now,,, i tend to ignore my diary sometimes :rolleyes:

Spod check in and let us know your alright :p
 
Hi everyone!

I am fine - no need to panic!

Just been absolutely mad busy since I went back to work on Monday. I have 190 essays to mark, 60 presentations marks to write up and 250 vocabulary tests to mark. Havent been in front of a computer long enough to type anything.
My job is seriously taking the p*ss. One of the other teachers lost it big time in the staff meeting over the way we are being treated....never even seen him vaughly annoyed before...

Good news is tho - people are starting to notice that I have lost weight! My collegues said it yesterday and in the cafe I went to with a friend on Tuesday, one of the regulars we always talk to (who ownes one of the restaurants we frequent) said I had lost a lot as well. So I am pleased about that!! :D

Been pretty good food wise. Been eating my main meal at lunch times, which I prefer and on my day off on Tuesday I went for a walk to the supermarket that is far, far away (an hour and a half round trip).

Have a new favourite film (it joins the long list) - Hairspray! It was on tv this evening and I found it by accident. Its so good!! (the 2007 remake - not seen the original).

Anyway, I am going to catch up with diaries etc. I also have a major problem with students so I am starting a thread on General Weight Loss discussions cos we really need help for some students (and more people will see it on there). Please add any ideas - I'm sure you will be able to help. It really is urgent.

Cheers me dears.

xx
 
Nice to have you back Megan xxx You gotta see the original Hairspray its fab but the new one is just as good. SO great when people start to notice you've lost weight, gives you a real boost. Wish I could be of more help with you other problem, but there are some pretty smart cookies on here and I'm sure loads of help and advise will be forthcoming. xx
 
hey spod :D

hairspray is one of my fave films. i wasn't that keen on the original myself. it seemed really contrived to me, but then i wasn't there when it was made, or alive during the times it depicts so i probably can't properly appreciate it. love the new one though :D

abz xx
 
Hi,

Hope you are ok and having a good weekend.
Mine has been a mixture. Yesterday I met my friend who I havent seen for ....years and we had the best time. Today my husband told me that our marriage is over. Kinda knew it was on the cards I guess but its still been a bit of a shock. So I am sitting here not really knowing what to do.

xx
 
Janey I dont know what to do. I am so glad you are on here. I dont think I can financially afford to go back to the UK cos I owe money on my mortgage and I have no job. I think I have to stay here and at least get some money behind me as I have a job. I am thinking of the practical things at the moment - its the only thing keeping me sane. Really not ok.
 
Gosh! I'm so sorry.
As Janey said... we're here for you if you need to talk.
((((spod)))
 
Is he still away? You will have all sorts, running through your head just now, you will still be in shock and I bet you are finding it hard to think straight. Really worried that you are on your own. Have you someone close out there that can come round. Let it all out at the moment, but find someone that can be there with you while you do. And feel free to PM me too. I'm here till lunch and if you wanna scream and shout some stuff I'll listen and help in any way I can xxxxxxxxx
 
Oh Megan
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. You say you had a feeling but is there no chance of recovery. God love you honey. I dont know what to say as, to us, this is so unexpected.
Talk away to us. we are here for you.
xxxx
 
He's back, we have talked and there is no sorting this out. I honestly thought things were better than they had been, but this last week he has been very over worked and stressed apparently I do nothing to support him and all the issues we have ever had have been dragged up.

I feel slightly relieved. Its not been easy living with him - I love him to pieces but emotionally I am drained. The goal posts are moved constantly, I cant read him. Its sad, but there it is.
Its amicable. I dont want to fight or make things nasty and neither does he so we are acting like the grown ups we are.

But for me I dont know what to do. Do I stay or go? Am going to sleep on it (or try and sleep anyway) and weigh up the pros and cons of staying til the end of the year as apposed to going home now. Got so much to sort out. Got to tell my parents....not looking forward to that. Have screwed up my life for the last 29 and a half years, so I am going to make the best decision for me, me and only me.

Thanks for your kind messages. I am in shock, keep crying but at the same time feel strangely calm. Weird feeling.

xx
 
Megan,

I can only echo what the others have said to you. I remember that tears but incredible calmness too.....take this step by step, and you WILL make it through!

xx
 
Oh hunny
I am sorry for you at this time, but as you said yourself, you kind of knew. Do you have a good set of friends/family in England? is there anyone that can support you over there in China? I know at the moment you probably just want to bury yourself but it would be good to have some support too.
xxx
 
No chance of sleep yet, its too early and theres too much going through my head. Wish he would say it is all a misunderstanding and really we should be together, but I know its not going to happen. I dont want to tell people tomorrow or anyone in the real world. Cant stand the thought of pitying looks and the sympathy. I am ok sitting here in tears, but I dont want to be an emotional wreck in public.
I know this too will pass, but I wish it didnt have to.

xx
 
I know what you mean. If you don't feel stron enough just now leave telling people till you are. Cate is right tears are a great healer even if you feel like you will never stop at the time. Maybe even if you tell just one person over there, just to have someone physically there to comfort you. xxxxxxxx
 
Thank you for being there. :wave_cry:

I have family and friends in the UK who will help me - I know I wont be homeless but I will be jobless and no income.
I work with some lovely people here - I think I will be well looked after by them. My friends who are *our* friends all work with my OH so I dont know how that will work, its difficult for friends and I feel a bit awkward with it today, although we have said we will still be friends and there is no animosity between us, but I dont think I am ready for all of us going out in a group and everything being *fine*.

What I really want to do right now is be at my parents house, snuggled up in bed in my old room with the cat purring next to me and not to come out until this is all over and I feel ok again.

BUT unfortunately I need to decide what will be best for me / my career. I have given up everything to come to China with him, for his career because it was a good opportunity for *us*. The house, my job, my cats, my friends, family.

If I go home now, I have lived and taught in China for 4 months. If I decided to stay til the end of the semester I will have been here for 6 months - which sounds better on my cv and then I will be in the UK to apply for teaching vacancies in the summer term ready for September.
If I stay til the beginning of July, I will have been here a whole year, which again sounds better, but I dont know if I want to do that and I will have missed the teaching vacancies that are always around in the summer term.

The temptation to just run back to the UK tomorrow is huge but I dont think its the most sensible decision. Writing all this down really helps get things clear in my head. :sigh:

xx
 
I'm in Hangzhou, about 90 mins from Shanghai on the bullet train.

Had such a fabulous evening last night and today is so sh*te. Cant believe the comparison.

xx
 
I kinda did that too with someone. Didn't go as far as china but moved away from a lot of stuff that meant something to me to be with someone(who turned out to be the wrong someone) But when it ended, I did get back on my feet took a long time but did it. You will too, I know it seems like a long way off at the moment and time to heal is needed. But you are doing the best thing. Thinking about YOU and whats is best for you. Keep as strong as you can and come here and get it all out as much as you need. Like you say it really does help xxxxx
 
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