Sarah’s long-winded analogy for development and management using photography...
I’ve had a big old think about this and then it struck me – we are in something called ‘development’ which is a very vague term and I don’t think LL have actually made the best of what can be a very enlightening period. (Let’s not look at the grinding agonies right now, shall we?)
Stage 1: Using the camera and taking all the pictures - Foundation
This is Foundation – you’re out there – you’re figuing out how it works you doing things, you know you have to take 36 pictures to complete the roll – it’s finite, you know how long it is…until you hit the final frame and you have to go…
Stage 2: Into the darkroom - Development
Imagine you had just gone out and shot your first roll of film. You’ve learnt how to handle a camera, you’ve tried different styles of photography, you’ve got out there and done something and now you have a roll of film. Some people get to hand their roll in at the chemists, but you’ve decided to make your own negatives and print your own pictures so that you can understand photography better (can you see where I’m going with this?)
Let’s look at development not as a punishment, but an opportunity to revisit all the lessons we learned whilst we were out there in foundation. We may need to revisit some of the practices and ideas more than once, but take confidence and comfort in the well researched fact that bad habits take approximately 90 days to break – so we should have pretty much cracked some of our addictive behaviour – of course we haven’t eradicated it, but we have implemented control.
When you develop negatives you are creating the blueprint for your future prints – whatever you do here will be the foundation for what your prints (or end result) comes out like. If you rush it, or open the door too soon or get the chemical processing wrong, you’ll risk wiping the negs and you’ll have to go out and take more photos. Development is very much like this in that you have to stick to the rules – in a darkroom neg processing happens in total darkness. You also have to follow the formulas precisely – no cheating to get the tried and tested results! You may want to revisit the basic principles at this point – reread the pamphlet – you’d be amazed at how many people completely ignore the fact that they are supposed to be walking 10000 steps a day (approx 4-500 calories a day). That is equivalent to just under a 1lb fat loss each week – if you’re only walking 5000 steps – over 20 weeks you’ve missed out on about 9 lbs – that’s another 3 weeks on the plan! Some people start nibbling on protein or using milk – I’m not making any judgement calls or naming any names here, but the idea behind abstinence is just that – you are not here to eat and you are trying to kick an addiction so you have to sit with the pain and observe why you are feeling ‘need’ and not try to numb it with any sort of nibbling. Stick to the rules and your negatives will be clear and sharp!
- The darkroom is a scary place, during the first steps you sometimes have to work in the dark and alone with the doors shut. Trust the process, it works
- When in doubt, stick to the rules – the answers have already been given to you and you have used them successfully in foundation – you might think you have mastered something, but development teaches you what you need to go back and do more work on. This is the most important part of your journey – if you do the necessary work here, you will maintain.
Stage 3: Deciding on your print size and focusing
I suppose this is the goal setting part. The great thing about developing your own photos is that you can decide how big they are, what bits to crop out – you can even get a little creative and make the edges fuzzy or use silhouettes and cut outs if you want. The important thing when making a print is focusing – you have to focus the image precisely on the paper so that the image is sharp and clean and looks the way you want it to. You need to visualise what you want and keep it very sharp and right at the front of your mind. If you are unclear about numbers or sizes – think about what you want to do – a dream – one of the dreams I had through development was getting to an acceptable weight to ride one of the Hyde Park stables horses – I haven’t done it yet, but I got to the goal because I visualised it and saw it sharply. I also knew I wanted to get into a particular dress I had had my eye on since January. I never suspected that not only would it still be available in July, but that it would be at a sale price – I’m slightly too big for it now – but I pushed the boundaries and have decided that I am not going to stop abstinence until that baby fits me perfectly. It is the goal and the investment in myself that is making me stick to my guns at this stage. My image is sharply focused on the paper. It has become clearer and clearer as I have got closer to management to the degree that I am actually going to a top London hair salon I always felt too fat to deserve before and then I am going to try on the size medium Vivienne Westwood dress tomorrow and if it fits, wear it to my photoshoot. If I have that picture in my hand I can review it – assess how I feel about my body image right now, refocus and make sure I have my goals firmly set for the endgame.
If you do not know what your goals should be, start with what you want and then see if you can determine a rough weight or BMI or dress size that would make that happen. Whether it’s a pair of 28 inch waist jeans (jeans that you buy by waist size – remember them?!) or a pair of thigh high boots or you’ve always wanted a handmade corset or just to know that you can try on a size 12 in any shop without worrying about having to whisper ‘can I try this in a 14?’
Whatever makes you grit your teeth and roll up your sleeves and get on with it is your focus point. Mine is fashion (although it does run a bit deeper than that I promise – I always held my career back because I believed that I needed to look good to succeed in the arts – and it turns out that I now have that confidence and openness to succeed – it’s not just the vanity aspect, the fact that I have cracked a major conundrum through sheer guts and determination and perseverance counts for so much more than the pounds and inches lost) – you might have a more meaningful, personal purpose than being a dress size – you may want to be fit for your children or you may want to be slim enough to go potholing – look for your dream – your true north on your personal compass – what will you be saying about yours life and what you enjoyed most when you are 80 years old?
Set your goals. Find a quiet place inside you and breathe and ask yourself what you really want. Write lists of what you love and who you are and what makes you happy. You can ask for anything – if you were your best friend, what would you give ‘you’ as a present at this stage.
I sort of see the next phase as being management as it’s all about the vision becoming a reality but parts of it apply to the development process too.
Step 4: Exposure
I’ll keep this one brief as it’s a bit of a technical anaology, but once you have focused the image, you have to expose the paper to the light – this is all a question of timing. Exposure can be tricky – it can damage the image – getting it wrong can make the print look terrible – you can over or under expose – but the great thing about it is that at this stage you can try it in lots of different ways until you get it right. It can make you feel vulnerable because you finally begin to get an idea of what your print will look like.
- Decide what you want
- When you have decided make the image as sharp and as clear as you possible can
Remember, if you get the exposure wrong and your print doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, you can always redo this step, in photography and in life – just reset the goals get a new piece of paper and start again.
Stage 4: Developing – The patience to let it dry and handling the print carefully
So once you’ve put the paper through the various chemicals and hung it out to dry, you have to be patient with it whilst all the processing you’ve put it through takes effect – you can’t rush the stages or you’ll get blurs and streaks. If something annoys you or makes you impatient with yourself or the diet, breathe and slow down – have patience with yourself and others and what you are putting yourself through.
- Follow the tried and tested processes
- Don’t rush it
- Handle yourself carefully (look after yourself well)
Step 5: Displaying your work
Choices, choices! How do you want to frame your final picture? A big gilt edged one? A nice minimalist but chic glass frame – this is all your choice. This is all about how you decide to display the new you – decide on what the new package is – maybe look at rebranding yourself! At this stage you can start to say to yourself and the world what you believe you truly are. You can begin to project what you want to be. One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was from an MD at a major investment bank – her performance reviews always said that she wasn’t strong enough and she thought to herself ‘I’m a black, female Harvard MBA – I couldn’t have got to where I am today without being strong’ so she decided to start using the word ‘strong’ to describer herself. When she would speak in meetings she would begin her comments with ‘Well, as a strong person…’ and within a year all of her appraisals came back with compliments about what a strong person she was. She had changed nothing about her working style, she had merely repackaged herself by positive reinforcement! Make sure you keep dusting your frame and keep the glass clean – take care of your masterpiece!
- The finishing point – recognise that you have finished and achieved. Maybe buy yourself a small locket and have it engraved with the date you hit your goal or a personal message. Maybe write yourself a certificate with the date you hit your goal – maybe ask a couple of close friends to write you a letter or congratulatory card that you can have as a keepsake.
- Decide how you want to be from this day forward – realise that you have the choice to be exactly who you want to be and that you are in the driving seat of your life from now on.
Awards and rewards – to the victor the spoils!
I have been thinking about this long and hard and suddenly a strange strange answer came to me…I think that my achievements on this programme have been huge – and I remembered how at speech day at school I would usually walk away with some sort of trophy for speaking or writing or drama. What if I awarded myself a trophy for my amazing achievement this year? I could have it engraved with a personal message or quote to myself and keep it on display with a picture of me at goal. I really want to celebrate one of the greatest successes of my life as gloriously as I possibly can. If I hit a goal, I should reward myself in a way that excites the inner child in me. My inner child loved trophies and medals and prizes for achievements. I don’t get nearly enough of that these days. The trophy, although a tad cheesy, would be a great stroke! (although something tells me that something gorgeous engraved from Tiffany would be interesting too!)
What do we do after we’ve won? – Get out there and take more pictures!
Now you’ve achieved this, what are you going to do next? You are now a successful person – and success breeds more success. Can you let that filter through into the other parts of your life? Is there anything else you can change in a similar way? Any other project you always dreamed of doing but couldn’t because you lacked the confidence or thought you were physically incapable of doing it – or was there anything you were putting off until you dealt with the more important project of getting to be slim? Or do you need a rest?
And don’t forget that the principles you’ve learned need to be carried around with you for the rest of your life – you are a success and you can easily maintain that success using the little toolbox full of lessons and tricks and ideas that you’ve lovingly assembled over the last few months.
