The Highs and Lows of Development

I would just see how you go & think of ways to get the focus back. How about setting yourself a 100 days target Sandra so you focus on that but not the whole journey? I know its hard but try "reframe" & find the positives of the journey. ARe you doing things like though records? Sounds like changing group may help but getting used to new people will take time to get used to so you'll need some strategies to get you through another fairly major transition...big huge & hope you resolve this for yourself.
 
Good luck in your new group Sandra. Let us know how you get on.
I've only ever attended one D class and am really looking forward to getting back to groups in management.
:D

Question for you Developers:
Bearing in mind my 3 week wobble, temptation has been at an all time high, should I ask for my management pack to start reading up and prepping?
I reckon I've got 1 month minimum and 2 months maximum before Management starts for me. I'm a bit scared of reading about food as I'm back in the zone and really want to just stay focused on what I'm doing. As per a previous post, I'm trying not to encourage the very strong voice that says 'I cant wait for this to be over'
Any thoughts?
:D
 
Yes! Can TOTALLY relate to how you feel as have about the same time to go and it sure is tough! BUT I also know I want to "get there" in every sence of the word so what I decided to do was NOT get the book until I'm ready to do it. Instead I have been doing some research into the kind of food I want to eat after management (decided on low gi) and am getting recipe books etc to keep me busy (although not reading them much cos I get hungry!!). I knew if I got the management book too early that I would manage to convince myself to start now under the "looking good now, can loose the rest later" category!!! In short told the chatterbox to f-off!! We KNOW we want to get there and the longer it goes the more active old chatty gets but its all in the mind - I just have to look at my tummy to know the truth! Hope you find the right answer for you though! Big hugs!
 
In search of me said:

Stop being so hard on yourself
It's not good for your health
I know that you can change
So clear your head and come round
You only have to open your eyes
You might just get a big surprise
And it may feel good and you might want to smile, smile, smile.

Don't you let your demons pull you down
'Cause you can have it all, you can have it all.


So come on, so come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey
So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.



Enjoy &...,corny though it most certainly is, "LET IT SHINE!"

YouTube - Take That - Shine
Click to expand...



Thanks so much for this! I love this song but hadnt really listened before, IYKWIM.

It means so much more now & has really put things in their proper place, mindset-wise!

Thanks for the You tube link too!!! watched loads now!!


Shine on everyone!!!
 
TG

Very quick email as have stonking headache and need to go to bed - early start and late night tomorrow (WI in London).

Steer clear of Management materials for now. You really don't need any more distractions right now.

I'd like to thank you for reframing suggestion because I finally got round to it tonight (and expert friend agreed) AND it made a HUGE difference. So reframing is the way to go!

I finally realised that I would be so proud of myself for getting to the end (really had never consciously verbalised that before) and it's going to be the same for you. SO, reframe, reframe, reframe and don't clutter your mind with Management until you are v.close.

Sorry, will be able to give your question some more thought en route to class tomorrow.

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxx

PS Sez - what is IYKWIM?????
 
Thanks for the advice Mrs L and ISOM. i'm steering clear of the books. I absolutely do not need them right now...way too much see sawing going on mentally.

I'm so pleased the reframing is going well Mrs L :D I'm really focusing on bringing back the early days mental strength. I'm firmly practising abstinence practically, but mentally I'm not!
Temptation is high and it creeps up on me in a frightening way. So today I was walking over to one of our other offices with a girl I work with and we chatted all the way about good high quality food choices, diets, different slimming clubs and so on. I was telling her about the frustration I have with my sister just now who has put on a lot of weight and will not mention my weight loss unless I ask her directly about it - when I do she is incredibly supportive, but always brings it back to her. And always goes on and on about bludy Weight Watchers and how she knows it will work for her when she is better planned on the shopping front...aaarrrggghhh! I know there are many WW's supporters and hey, I'm all for whatever works for you, but long story short WW's does NOT work for my sister!

Anyway, I was talking about how focused I was again and how I was determined to enjoy the last part of this process blah blah...
When we arrived at the office and went off to make coffee before our meeting we found an opened box of shortbread biscuits. The temptation hit like a bolt. Not sure if it hit mentally or physically, but it was so strong it almost winded me! If I'd been on my own would I have given in there and then and just sneaked a few? I'd just had a 15minute conversation going on and on about how focused I was and then - wallop! eat the biscuits eat the biscuits.... It's so frustrating right now.

I didn't eat the biscuits, and should probably be celebrating that fact (reframe reframe reframe) as oppose to worrying so much about why/where this temptation is coming from and how I'm going to kill it!!

I definitely know that the mind has been playing tricks on me, and the endless complimentary comments are not helping! I know I look great - and I really do. But I'm not done yet. I could be a whole 2 months from being done. I've got to find a way of reframing the compliments. Maybe a new thought could be 'every time someone says you look fantastic, it's a perfect opportunity to remind yourself that you've still got 2 months to go. 2 months of continuing to look fantastic with the promise that you are going to look MEGA fantastic when you're done'
Hmmm...might try that and see how I get on. Reframing positive thoughts - ho ho - a never before practised piece of head therapy!

Yes I'll try it - the compliments are there to remind me of my time left on the journey - not to tell me that I'm done!

God it's exhausting just now :D
 
Good morning TG (although it may be evening by the time you see this)

As I said on my blog, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE the power of crooked thinking. God, it is SOOOO powerful! Sandra agrees, I know.

I will think about some more strategies for us all and ask my LLC tonight.

Hang on in there; have SOOOO much to say! Thanks for comment on blog - you were spot on and it made a huge difference to me. You are doing really really well!!! Yes, you ARE!

Big hugs! Stay strong.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx
 
Trying to prepare for management - maybe you don't need to (by a compulsive planner!)

I agree with Mrs L about the management books. I had to get them on Sunday because my LLC is now away for 4 weeks and we both knew that I will probably need to begin whilst she is away. And I got home on Sunday and looked at them and all the exercises and in usual Sarah style had to read everything and felt the overwhelmin urge to start typing things up and get going with the planning and I started to panic and feel overwhelmed so I knew it was time to say STEP AWAY FROM THE BOOK. Half the reason (apart from the nutritional/scientific aspect) I think that all you have to do for the first two days is cook a plain piece of protein is so that you have time to read and absorb the week 1 materials. I think I'll be glad of so much reading when I get there - I certainly needed to read as much as I could when I first started LL!
 
Hi,
I hope you don't mind me joining you in this thread but I started Development this week and the session was amazingly even worse than the foundation ones. We haven't had any counselling for the last 5 weeks. The only counselling we got really was from the locum over the LLCs 2 week holiday.

Well, the LLC sent her husband to run it as she was poorly. So no counselling again. But what disappointed me most was how unfreindly the other ladies were when I went in. They clearly knew each other and only one acknowledged me with a glance. Then they all continued to discuss what they had been eating all week, and that was it! My first development session.
I tried to join in (new found confidence) but got nowhere.

I felt really isolated and I am panicky because I have missed the grounding in CBT and TA through no/poor counselling. I am 100% abstinent but that is because of some flukey switch in my head that switched into Nothing from my previous "ALL, ALL, ALLLLL" mode.

At my sons birthday yesterday looking at all the cheese on the big pile of left over pizza I could see myself in the future simply scoffing it all. That image is happening a lot recently.

I suppose I'm just like everyone who is scared that they won't be able to maintain. But I feel like I haven't really changed anything in myself.

Phew, fell better for letting that out actually. Thank goodness for Minis or I wouldn't have anyone to talk to.

Claire
 
Tiger Girl - I have exactly the same thing. I somehow thought that it would be easier to resist food as I went on (I'm week 5) but it's still as much of an agonising struggle each time. It gets quite tiring. If you find a solution please do let us know. Good luck with the siren song of shortbread and all its evil little friends (we have Krispy Kremes on the snack table very near me)
 
Just do it - I wouldn't put up with the way you've been treated. If I was you, I would call LL HQ and make a complaint about your counsellor. No counselling in the last 5 weeks is not acceptable.

Also - having the right support in developers is crucial.

I changed to a new developers meeting last night and the difference was amazing. We had a brilliant session. We didn't talk about what we had or hadn't done in the week - it was all about the counselling. Last night we did some exercise based on 'life is not a dress rehearsal'. We made lists of what we wish we'd done more of in the past and what we wish we'd done less of in the past and then shared them. Then we made plans of the things we wanted to achieve. Mine were:
start writing
develop a new career that means something to me
have children
get to goal!
 
SandraEG said:
Just do it - I wouldn't put up with the way you've been treated. If I was you, I would call LL HQ and make a complaint about your counsellor. No counselling in the last 5 weeks is not acceptable.

Also - having the right support in developers is crucial.

I changed to a new developers meeting last night and the difference was amazing. We had a brilliant session. We didn't talk about what we had or hadn't done in the week - it was all about the counselling. Last night we did some exercise based on 'life is not a dress rehearsal'. We made lists of what we wish we'd done more of in the past and what we wish we'd done less of in the past and then shared them. Then we made plans of the things we wanted to achieve. Mine were:
start writing
develop a new career that means something to me
have children
get to goal!
Click to expand...


Have to echo these sentiments too! It sounds as though this LLc is in it solely for money & not to help those who really need her. (I am aware it is a business but I sincerely believe that yes, make your money, but NO do not rip clients off, just plain wrong)

I like all the chat about re-framing too. I am trying to do this myself. I have been so hung up on the fianl 3 stone, 3 more months of hell, 3 more months of misery etc etc, that I have lost my way completely. I am fully expecting this weeks WI (tonight) to be poor, amybe even a gain. I do deserve it, as far as eating goes, as I have not applied the LL rules at all this week. I truly allowed the crooked thinking to get in the way.

It seems odd to me, hoe one moment I am on a high, when someone tells me how well I am doing, or when I buy a new top/jeans or whatever. I feel I am so focused and so together that I will be strong for the rest of this diet and beyond. Then maybe only minutes later, I will be tempted and BANG there I go again.

I spent last night in total misery, thinknig of all the wrong I have done this. I planned how, as next week, is my last before my hols, that this might a good opportunity to dump LL and go back to Slimming World. Oh, yes, it was all planned to the letter, a email to my LLC, "So long & thanks....", a visit to my local (been a member many times before) SW class after my hols, whilst using the period in between as a chance to go wild & let the rebellious toddler (not even old enough to be a child) have free reign.... Why?????

Still, on waking this morning, I am feeling stronger again. I know I want to stay the course. As Mrs L has said, I want to be proud of myself for actually continuing and completing this diet. I WANT to see this through to the end, whatever it takes.

I really dont understand myself and my thinking at times. I want....I dont want..... Where the heck does it all come from?

Still, fingers crossed tonights developers will be a good one. I am not sure, as my LLC called this week to apologise for forgetting to let us all know last week that one of her locums is taking the class. (Its ok, both her locums are very good, one however is a little more experienced than the other. She is also a Relate counsellor. Sadly we have the other tonight....Nice lady, though.)
 
Hi Just Do It

You have done really well getting to the end of foundation in abstinence with such poor support from your LLC.

I agree, 5 weeks without counselling is just not acceptable and you really need to contact HQ and tell them what is going on. Can you find another counsellor that you could transfer to in your area? Failing that I wonder if you could transfer into a different development group it obviously wouldn't help with the counselling but could be a friendlier bunch in another group.

On a brighter note, I did have all the counselling but at the end of foundation I really didn't feel like I had learnt anything. I felt so strongly about this that I did ask if I could go through foundation again (but was told no). I have had some problems with sticking to the diet since but in the 8 weeks or so following the end of foundation I have actually changed this belief quite radically and now realise that I have really learnt a lot. I am sure that despite the poor counselling this is also the case with you and you have learnt a lot more than you realise at the moment.

Let us know what happens.

Hugs
 
Rubbish LLC's, dodgy thought records, crooked thoughts...Development sucks.

Lots to post;

Lets start with the numbers. WI today - have lost a pathetic 1.5lb. This means that I have lost the grand total of 3lbs in 4 weeks. In April I lost 28lb's in 4 weeks.
Ok so I had my 3 week wobble which involved 3 days of food, and then back to packs, and then a week later 2 days of food and then back to packs. Over this period (I was abroad) I went to the gym every single morning, and fair enough I did lose 1lb but it wasn't as if I'd gone on a major eating adventure, it really was minimal.
So, this week - after struggling so badly pretty much every day with temptations of one description or another and working so hard to get my mental fighting state back, to get on the scales and see 1.5lb - it was soul destroying.
I've fought big demons every day - I was starting to really feel mentally fit to finish the course. I know I'm drinking enough as I'm up at least 2-3 times during the night for loo stops. I've not had anymore than 1 bar per day. I've been so conscious of everything I've been doing and genuinely felt at least 4lb lighter.
I'm 13st 3. Surely that's not even close to a weight where I would be struggling (from a BMI perspective)

And not helped by the fact that I've been out every single night this week - so tired :(

However, and in the spirit of reframing, there's got to be an upside.
So here it is. I didn't give in to any temptation and tonight have had a big disappointment on the man front (too much to go into on here) Friday's have always been my traditional big night - pub, binge, binge. And I've come home, and I've had my last pack of the day and I'm going to bed. And even though I've got to be up at 6 to pack yet another bag, for yet another weekend away, and I really feel like cancelling it - I'm not, I'm going. And even though its another bludy festival where it will no doubt p**s down with rain, and everyone will be drunk and eating loads of whatever they want - I'm still going.

This feels like the official lowest point in Development for me. But from a reframing perspective I have to think of it like this;
"You're pushed to the limits just now and dealing with all sorts of emotional challenges. And maybe for the first time in years, you haven't turned to food to get through it"

I guess I've got to take something from that.
 
Dearest TG

Not sure if you will see this before you head off again for another festival.

Stay strong because, as you've so very correctly identified, you're dealing with the emotional challenges WITHOUT turning to food. That isn't good. That's isn't great. That's b***dy amazing!

I won't give you cheery comments about 1.5lbs because if you don't feel it's enough...it isn't! (You'll feel differently soon enough.)

Anyway, compared with before, as you say, you haven't even done the Friday night binge, which no one would blame you for given you are v.tired!!

Keep focused and keep reframing! All the way and to the max!!

Sending you big festival hugs!!! Which one is it?

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxx
 
I dont know...dont post for a few days and there are squillions to catch up on!! OK a few thoughts and cant remember who said what when so bear with me!
1) 1.5 ibs is 1.5 ibs & its 1.5 ibs in the right direction so is by NO means pathetic, even though it may feel like it (chatterbox alert here too me thinks!). Go & look at a pat of butter and recognise that the same amount of fat is no longer residing on your body. Bloody good if you ask me!!
2) Beware the overdoing it! Some of you seem physically & mentally shattered & thats when the demons LOVE to play so go gentle on yourselfves & if that means cancelling, do it!
3) Instead of miserable "woe is me" thinking try turn it round to the fact that this is YOUR time. You are healing yourselves. It takes time , it is painful & hard but is infinately worth it.
4) Re development group I'll think about this for next week but from the other side (ie one whose been there with new peole joining) its hard having new people in every week. I do try & make an effort to speak to everyone but also want to catch up with my friends & the week they've had so it can be hard to strike the balance. I also find meeting new people, esp in a group situation, quite hard and at times its emotionally easier to stick with what you have! I do take the pont on board though & will definately make an effort to be friendlier to new people next week...
5) To those who are thinking/wanting to give up (al of us on different days I suspect!!)...we HAVE to stop this thinking. It's pointless, its destructive and we know it. As to how I think the answer is literally just to stop the thought when we start thinking it! Just say no! Dont even go there! Focus on getting through each day & leave it at that!
Thinks thats all...sorry if this post is quite "tough lovey" but I really dont think we are helping each other by constantly moaning about development and need to stop it! If you're unhappy with lLC speak to thm or H/O and possibly look at doing some of our own reading as well! Also I suspect that I, along with many, spent many years moaning (internally or externally) about weight loss and did nothing & I feel a bit of this creeping in in posts...not that we're not doing anythng but we're always moaning at the moment! Come on girls lets bask in the glory (let it shine!!) and celebrate where we have got to so far cos its flippin fantsatic!
 
Just to add, had great developers meeting this week, despite the LLC using a locum. (Have posted another thread on it!) We talked about out old friend the thought record, keeping diaries etc. I left feeling pretty positive once again, and although its not much managed to stay abstinent yesterday. That was not easy for me as I have not been with the ketosis fairy for most of the last week and I need to encourage her back home, once again! I did manage to lose 1.1lbs, so not great but ISOM says, a loss is a loss, and this one was so hard fought!

My hols are looming and I am so bloody minded that this week will be a perfect once as far as abstinence goes! I was to start my break with positive thoughts and good vibes as I wont be able to talk to any of you for two whole weeks!!! (EEK!!)

I would really love to make the 100lbs before I go (need to lose 2.1lbs to do that!) and then come back weighing the same as when I left!! I am planning to have 3 packs a day, plus one protien based meal. I know there are those of you who are totally brill and stay abstinent on your holidays but I am not one of you! I intend lots of swimming, and walking etc so to maintain would be my goal!!

Have a good week all!
 
If you know what I mean - text speak took me ages to pick it!
 
I am now in developers only I haven't been to a meeting yet. Its a Tuesday night and next week I am away so I won't be going for a couple of weeks. I have refocussed my efforts after reading some of the things which have been said. I have made a new calendar up and stuck it on the freezer door which shows today as day one and then day 100 is marked up. Each day I complete in complete abstinance I will give myself a smiley sticker. I am hoping seeing it there will keep me focussed. Also printed off a chart to tick off my bottles of water each day as I seem to be losing the plot with that too
 
Yeah go Sharon! Its like a reward chart - are you planning in some actual rewards for sticking o the diet?! A great motivator for me! I just got a reduced price bread machine for my 4 stone loss! If you want smiley stikers free you can get them in the give up smoking pack from Tesco! It really helped me when I gave up smoking 6 months ago! They have a thumbs up one too! Well done you! Keep up the good work. Hope the rest of you are ok! I'm hanging in! Went to the gym yesterday and got myself an unlimited pass for LA gyms to motivate me & going to aqua aerobics tonight....Also realised this week that my BMI is 30 and think I may have set the target loss a bit too low but we will see!!
 
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