Step 1 Sole Source The Last Re-start!

Hey babe! Long time no talk. I've been thinking about you a lot though. In a weird way the thought I'd have to admit to you guys here I failed big time kept me closer to the straight and narrow. Not close enough though if you read my diary!

Talk to you soon!
 
Hi all! Another day of period pain misery without even a TOTM to show for it (if you know what I mean. Somehow that just makes it worse :() Dosed myself up with nurofen and did the long train ride into Central London to meet the girls yesterday and had the best 7 hours ever. Laughed like a drain (literally howled) and didn't feel I was missing out on the cocktails, wine and food. I love those ladies and we set the world to rights good and proper :D

Sadly, when I got in I had to spend the next hour and a half calming down my Mum on the phone. Alzheimers is evil and heartbreaking. And all the worse because it brings down the strongest of personalities.... And doesn't give them the dignity of oblivion, but let's them know the most precious possession they have (their minds) are failing them and playing tricks. There's no dignity.... Just a yearning that a quicker death would save you from the horror of being (to quote Mum) "doolally". It's heartbreaking. We love her so much, but can't save her from this horrible disease. It hurts us all. Her worst of all of us.

Sorry for the downer, but it makes me realise how fleeting 'youth' is..... The good years. So 'carpe' that 'diem' folks .... Seriously. Grab on to today.

In other, and probably more appropriate, news I lost 1lb this week. Ah well. It is what it is and TOTM is due. At this point in the journey, who cares? As long as I'm on track and losing in increments I just have to be happy with that and carry on.

Onwards, right? :D xx
 
Hi all! Another day of period pain misery without even a TOTM to show for it (if you know what I mean. Somehow that just makes it worse :() Dosed myself up with nurofen and did the long train ride into Central London to meet the girls yesterday and had the best 7 hours ever. Laughed like a drain (literally howled) and didn't feel I was missing out on the cocktails, wine and food. I love those ladies and we set the world to rights good and proper :D

Sadly, when I got in I had to spend the next hour and a half calming down my Mum on the phone. Alzheimers is evil and heartbreaking. And all the worse because it brings down the strongest of personalities.... And doesn't give them the dignity of oblivion, but let's them know the most precious possession they have (their minds) are failing them and playing tricks. There's no dignity.... Just a yearning that a quicker death would save you from the horror of being (to quote Mum) "doolally". It's heartbreaking. We love her so much, but can't save her from this horrible disease. It hurts us all. Her worst of all of us.

Sorry for the downer, but it makes me realise how fleeting 'youth' is..... The good years. So 'carpe' that 'diem' folks .... Seriously. Grab on to today.

In other, and probably more appropriate, news I lost 1lb this week. Ah well. It is what it is and TOTM is due. At this point in the journey, who cares? As long as I'm on track and losing in increments I just have to be happy with that and carry on.

Onwards, right? :D xx


big yeah on the lunch and weight loss can t beat a bit of girlie therapy.

oh life is so very short, my adult life has been spent working in health care and in chatting to many of my vintage patients you realise that it passes quicker than you can believe. in all the years of working nobody ever said they wished they had that extra guest room, so people dance in the rain and don t always assume that tomorrow will make your dreams come true, do it now when you can. i can t recommend it highly enough.

sorry to hear about your mum its one of the cruellest diseases around. one of the hardest aspects is when the person is aware of its creeping insidiousness taking pieces of themselves and being unable to stop it, i can t imagine what that is like. i ve not been involved with the meds but there are new ones to slow down the loss, im sure you ll know about them, your family are medical i think? there are some types that don t respond to the meds (i think)

all good here

jxx
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. Life is so bloody unfair :-(
 
second FF... sorry to hear about your mum.

and yay on sticking to plan and the loss.
 
You're all so so right. It's unfair. Thank you x All we can do is let her know we're happy to just have her, talk to her, smell her, hug her. But oh man, we'd take this Horror away from her if we could. And living so far away from my family is a level of hell all by itself.

Looking ahead to the week ahead, I hope we all manage to stay on track and everyone has a 100% day in plan. Big hugs to all xx
 
That is such a difficult and cruel illness. I really feel for you.

I'm a bit older than you but seemed to have reached a stage in life where conversations with friends focus around the loss and ill health of parents. It's hard because the cycle of life is universal but no one really prepares you for it.

I too have lovely friends who can sit with me in the tough times but also really enjoy the good times and see the humour in both. I do feel a bit wiser as I get older but think I have a lot to learn about getting the most from every day. I'll definitely do some thinking today.
 
good morning hope all good in da hood

i ve been thinking have you been in contact with rc lately and how is the king of the twats fairing (hopefully minimal input) im in need of some gossip:)
jxx
 
Just read this thread whilst in work. You are a truely inspiring woman! Congrats on your weight loss so far and so sorry for what you're going through with your Mum.

Head up, battle on, you are an inspiration!

xx
 
good morning hope all good in da hood

i ve been thinking have you been in contact with rc lately and how is the king of the twats fairing (hopefully minimal input) im in need of some gossip:)
jxx

Lol :D Wellllllll of you insist.... RC text and suggested we get together for dinner so that plan is in the works (Yes!!! *fist pump*) BUT my big fat surgery is the day he wants (14th) ugh! So I'm keeping it all casual and 'hey, how-are-ya' texts and then I'll hit him with the 'let's grab a bite this evening if you're not busy'? Whadda ya think? Am I over thinking this? I don't really want to go on a date then disappear into surgery recovery for two weeks or something.... And I know it sounds dumb (it even sounds shallow in my own head, and I ain't goin' to lie, it can get preeeeetty shallow in there when I'm ready) but I don't want him to think I'm all sickly :character00264: I know! I said it sounds dumb and I'd bet good money that he isn't shallow.... But "Oh, you've been calling me? where was I? Under the knife having my woman bits messed around with" doesn't sound too sexy in my head :D Not when said man hasn't even had a chance to 'mess around' with said bits himself!

And d@mn it I wanted to see him when I'm at least a size 14! That's not greedy... Right? I just know how differently I strut and feel at size 14.

Okay. I saw the eyeroll. I'll set something up *gulp*

:) xx
 
I have to say I had been wondering too. A suggested date on 14th is hardly casual or the MO of a man who would turn his nose up at a 'routine op'. You don't need to say what it is but just say you'd have a much better and relaxing time if you went a couple of weeks later. Bear in mind he has no idea about all your complicated thought processes and may just think you are lukewarm. Simple creatures most men. In a couple of weeks you will be a size 14 obviously, but I'm sure he is keen, strutting or otherwise!! That's my twopenneth on the subject. How are you going to deal with the dinner thing?
 
I have to say I had been wondering too. A suggested date on 14th is hardly casual or the MO of a man who would turn his nose up at a 'routine op'. You don't need to say what it is but just say you'd have a much better and relaxing time if you went a couple of weeks later. Bear in mind he has no idea about all your complicated thought processes and may just think you are lukewarm. Simple creatures most men. In a couple of weeks you will be a size 14 obviously, but I'm sure he is keen, strutting or otherwise!! That's my twopenneth on the subject. How are you going to deal with the dinner thing?


totally agree

i d be honest about the surgery routine is just fine as apposed to; and my legs are in sirups and then they really go in for the kill..........! i think this man sees past your perceived imperfections and looks only at you and that person from what i can gleam is pretty darn special. so id def not want him to think your being wishy washy baring in mind he s been drop once ( he that shall not be mentioned fault, is it wrong to wish a benign growth on this testicles?.. toooo late). dance now biatch! tomorrow can take fate off in another direction altogether

jxxx
 
Just read this thread whilst in work. You are a truely inspiring woman! Congrats on your weight loss so far and so sorry for what you're going through with your Mum.

Head up, battle on, you are an inspiration!

xx

Aww Vicki, thank you so much for your words.... It sounds a bit dumba$$, but I kind of forget to be proud of how far I've come in the 'busy-ness' of life..... Until words like yours remind me :) So thank you.

How's your journey going? I love the goal statement in your stats. xx
 
dance now biatch!*

:8855: Oh no you didn't! Yes. You did! LOL. I've found a very effective way of not having to deal with the ex.... It's called call blocking. Does wonders for my piece of mind and blood pressure ;) I don't even see a missed call! Thank you Mr Samsung!

Speaking of RC, I just got a lovely text from him (well I say 'just'-it was an hour ago, but you know what I mean)..... This man is just so lovely.. What on earth am I waiting for? Didn't I just say "carpe diem"? Well hitch up your britches and brace yourself..... I'm going to" carpe" this diem. Let's get this ball rolling :D..... I'll let you know what I set up! Oh my goodness. I'm nervous. Wait. When did I become such a chicken? :eek: I already took a poll of the girls on Saturday. They told me to stop being a .... Well, that word for a cat that rhymes with mussy. They're not subtle, ergo my love for them. The general consensus was: if he's going to run over a little surgery or be an a$$, better he sods off now before I REALLY like him.... And if he doesn't fancy me at size 16,he has no business touching my precious body at size 14 ;) Fair point!

Have a brill day tomorrow love, I'll keep you in gossip for a while yet! lol xx
 
Soooo there's bad news and good news.....

My lovely and much loved Uncle died last night after his two year battle with prostate cancer. He won, and he gets to rest.

It never rains, but it pours....... I'm so so glad Sunshine Boy and I got to spend some quality time with him during the period of my Dad's funeral. Dad loved his baby brother so much and his baby brother adored us .... And we loved him. Man. I've been so loved and so lucky with the love of my family, my Experiences, my parents. So blessed. My Uncle was such a feature of my childhood and all my memories of him are wreathed with golden light and smiles. At 76 he had a good innings and lived it clean, with integrity, and well. Enough said. In fact how much more could be said of any of us? And the love goes on.

So last night I text my "Earthlies" (thanks for a new phrase skydragon) - real world friends-, including RC, who has suffered his own losses over the last couple of years, and got some beautiful messages of love and hope :).

*Good news alert* I would love to take credit like a ballsy valkyrie but that wonderful man beat me to it! He started texting again first thing this morning with "per ardua ad astra" and the messages got lovelier from there *sigh* (yes, I had to look it up - what did we do before g00gle? "Through struggle, to the stars" - Air Force motto, but for a former military man this is romance :D)

So we're going back and forth, back and forth and he was a real comfort.... Then.... dum dum duuhhhh ( dramatic music! Whaddaya mean what was that?) he asked me out to dinner.... This Saturday! Yes, the very same 'this Saturday' my family are coming down. D@mn. So, I explained.... And suggested we get together for Pre-valentines dinner and drinks. Ha! Told you I'd do it :D Well, he kind of took the plunge himself but still.... I helped lol

It feels like perfect timing. You only live once, right?And I will not be shuffling off this mortal coil muttering"what if"! So great loss, and great excitement within the same 24hrs - you're right Clinquant, the universe gives us what we need when we need it - watch this space!

And more importantly, you know what this calls for don't you? SHOPPING :bunnydance:

A very odd day of mixed emotions all in all.... Off to go sit for a bit and be sad and quiet. SB needs some time & attention too. Be well xx
 
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Morning Bev I am so glad your Sunshine Boy got to spend time with your Uncle. I so loved the way you wrote your Uncle "won" his battle and gets to rest. Such a positive way to look at the life of a loved one. (((hugs)))

How exciting on the romance! It sounds like you are going to have a great time. Can't wait for you to share your shopping haul with us!
 
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