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The Mental Part Of Weight Loss

#1
Hello there...Im new to the site.
And I have a question for anyone out there.
I have been overweight all my life. Im 43 now.
So you know that the habits I have are rooted pretty deep.
When I diet/exercise...I seem to be fine when it comes to watching what I eat and putting the time in on exercise.
But my problem is the mental part of it all.
The long road ahead...it seems to discourage me.
I have a lot to lose...and I mean A LOT.
And even though I see changes in how I feel and clothes are feeling a bit looser.
I still seem to look at that road.
My mind tells me...you have tried so many times before...
Lost like 80 pounds...and you have failed...over and over and over.
What is going to make this time different.
And I tell myself...its going to take time.
Have patience...
You are doing it...and you are doing fine.
But there feels like a dark cloud hanging over you...
Its a feeling thats hard to explain.
But it does get you down even though you are making progress.

Im not sure if anyone out there understands what Im talking about. Maybe Im just going a bit (or a lot...lol) off the deep end.

Any input on this would be appreciated.

Thank you all...have a wonderful day.
 
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Silence

Bouncing back
#2
If it's any consolation I know exactly how you feel and I think you'll find a lot of people on here do. There are a lot of us for whom weight loss is a long and arduous journey (you might benefit from looking in the forums WeMitts, Century Club and Bring Your Head Inside, Your Body Will Follow)
You really need to accept, deep down, that it is a journey, a progression and not a short term thing. You need to look at what you're doing as a lifestyle choice, not as a short term solution.
It is so very easy to become overwhelmed by the amount of weight one has to lose. It helps to set yourself smaller targets, take a stone at a time, even half a stone and focus on just getting to there.
What also helps is getting involved in discussions on here. This place is wonderful for support and encouragement, to talk to people who share your feelings and experiences, people who are going through what you are, people who have done so and have succeeded.
Wishing you the best of luck in your journey.

~Silence~
 

Bad Jar

Every ounce is bounce
S: 16st4lb C: 16st2lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st2lb(0.88%)
#3
I totally get where you're coming from. I think a lot of people will on this site. I know it feels like a never ending journey, but see how many other people can do it, and the support they get on this site...You can do it. You have to believe in yourself, and I know that is SO much easier said than done! I'm going to break out the cliche's: take each day, or even each meal, one step at a time. tell yourself you can do it, you only have to get through this meal. Each day is a blessing, not a torture and each day is a further step down that long road. Ok, sometimes you might go back a few steps or stand still to enjoy the scenery but you dont have to stay there. Start each day with a deep breath and a big smile. The past is history. You dont have to re-live it if you choose not to. Good luck and best wishes. X
 

SarahSez

Silver Member
S: 17st1lb C: 9st9lb G: 9st11lb BMI: 23.9 Loss: 7st6lb(43.51%)
#4
I'm not going to repeat what everyone else has already said but the end result is worth all your effort.

And remember; NOTHING tastes as good as being slim feels

Good luck
 

Silence

Bouncing back
#5
One other thing to do is to take a looksee at what other people have achieved. There's a screensaver on here with before and after pictures of people who have succeeded. It's well worth a look because it's so inspirational!
 
#6
Thanks so much for the encouraging words.
They did help in many ways.
I keep telling myself that the journey is the best..
Its where you get your strength and you see yourself grow.
You see changes happening everyday...even if they are so small.
And it is a life change. And I know I dont want to go back to where I was before. Cause even after a month...the changes have been awesome.
I just need to shut up that little voice in there that taunts me about my previous failures.
Its so nice to see friendly people like you all here who understand and willing to give helpful words of encouragements.
 

Bad Jar

Every ounce is bounce
S: 16st4lb C: 16st2lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st2lb(0.88%)
#7
You can always give that little voice - that little demon - a name? when it taunts you, tell it you have the power to control what you do, not it. another thing is to right down what is says (to get it out of your head!) and lock the comments in a box which you then put out of sight. When you're happy with your weight, re-read the comments, laugh at your demon and the fact you've beaten it, then have a little bonfire in the back garden! Being safe and responsible of course!
 
#8
I love that idea...lol
I think I will call that little voice Vlad (dracula), he likes to suck every bit of motivation out of me.
Great!!! Now all I can think about is steak with garlic butter sauce...lol I dont think that is the right kind of steak or garlic that will kill him off.

Thanks so much for the help. Its something Im going to try.
 

Silence

Bouncing back
#9
Another thing you could try, which I do when I'm having a tough time, is write a "credit list". At the end of the day make a list of all the good and strong things you've done today and give yourself credit for them, congratulate yourself. (See this thread for more details.) it will drive Vlad crazy!!!
 

Iris

Full Member
S: 16st6lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st8lb BMI: 17.4 Loss: 7st11lb(47.39%)
#10
I know exactly what you mean. It's like the shadow of past failure hangs over you, like a big rain cloud and you're just waiting for the downpour.

I still wrestle with a little voice inside that says 'you're going to fail, you're going to tumble, you'll put it all back on again, fatty!' I think the only way to get that voice to shut up is to remind yourself that the difference this time is that you're not on a finite diet, you've actually changed your relationship with food for good, and you're never going back. You may have failed diets before, but if you remind yourself that this time isn't a diet - this time isn't finite, it's just a sensible way of eating you can maintain for life - then I think you start to mute that insecure voice inside a bit.

You will get there - there's no hurry, is there? You're in control and it'll happen. Just make sure you're treating yourself well while it happens, being kind to your body and getting enough rest days from the exercise regime.

The best of luck! :)
 
S: 18st5lb C: 17st8lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 0st11lb(4.28%)
#11
i really wish you all the best in your weight lose, i agree with what everybody has said i had a thought of my be you could set a small goal and my be stay at that level for a month so you could have a small break but maintain at that for a month and then you might not think oh god its good i have lost this bit still have so much to go. and then lose some more and then maintain for month and so on. i hope this helps as i find that even after 8 weeks im fed up and the road seems so long and the good points like lossing weight are not out weighing the fact i have so much more to go. I also just want to quickly add i have not been eating all my packs and and now found out that i will not lose as much if i dont so what ever diet you are on make sure you stick to the rules, sending big hug and one day we will all get there im sure x
 

Jim

Big Boy
S: 25st0lb C: 13st1lb G: 13st1lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 11st13lb(47.71%)
#12
Good posts there. I totally agree.
 
#13
Thanks so much for all the input.

I sat down this last past weekend...made up some goals for myself. Wrote them down..and really tried to connect to the these goals...some are long ones...some are short...and doable. So now...I can say...hey, there is a vacation coming up in October...I want to get up there and dance my butt off like others. And you arent going to do it by sitting on it now. lol

I also sat myself down today...and had a talk about why I started all this to begin with. Its not about scale, or about clothes...or even the mirror. Its about health...a long healthy life. And the freedom that health brings...by doing whatever you want...no more excuses. And I told "Vlad" to "Bite Me" ...lol
 

Bad Jar

Every ounce is bounce
S: 16st4lb C: 16st2lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st2lb(0.88%)
#14
Hi, and Well done! I was thinking about your post the other day (in a non stalker-type way!) and had a thought. When you reach your next small goal, how about painting your nails a really funky colour? Then, when you feel low, you can look at your pretty nails and you've got a reminder you CAN do it! Uness you're a bloke of course, in which case do your toenails! ;o)
 

jojo-p

Full Member
S: 14st6lb C: 13st9lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 0st11lb(5.45%)
#16
I have promised myself a really nice, relaxing trip to the hair dressers for my 5% goal! (my hair really needs a cut but I never find the time or money!).

Compliments are really important to me on my journey - something I learnt doing another diet in another lifetime.

Compliment people and learn to accept compliments. When someone says 'your hair looks nice' learn not to think 'is that the only thing that looks nice' or 'you are just saying that'. Learn to say 'thanks' and accept the compliment or comment.

For most of us we just rebuke compliments like 'you have lost weight' with 'still a long way to go' instead of 'thank you it feels really good'.

Love the idea of nails being painted... I might set up a scale of colours for weekly loss.

STS - no polish
1 lb - pale pink/nude
2lb - deep pink/purple/red
3lb - silver? sparkly?
4lb - trip to the nail salon?
 

Bad Jar

Every ounce is bounce
S: 16st4lb C: 16st2lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st2lb(0.88%)
#17
Wow, looks like I might have started something! I've got a fab colour called Victoria - might have to do that when i get below 16st.
 

Jim

Big Boy
S: 25st0lb C: 13st1lb G: 13st1lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 11st13lb(47.71%)
#18
sort of plum coloured?
 

Bad Jar

Every ounce is bounce
S: 16st4lb C: 16st2lb G: 12st4lb BMI: 36.5 Loss: 0st2lb(0.88%)
#19
I think that was the idea but it's sort of a really dark red rather than a purple.
 

Lisamac30

Full Member
S: 15st7lb C: 13st5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 34.2 Loss: 2st2lb(13.82%)
#20
Hey,
I'm only just starting to understand the 'mind' issue too, and Hypnotherapy has helped me to do this. In the past a small amount of weight loss has never been enough, as soon as i've told myself I cant have something I want it more than ever, and I have focused on excersise and most of that I don't like - so therefore I have always failed! Now, I am 'trying to eat healthier' i'm not on a diet...I eat whatever I want, but I have swapped snacks in between meals with fruit or oatcakes/oatbars, (just doing this I have lost 6lb in 3 weeks) I am now going to reduce my meal sizes slightly and see how that goes, and i'm also making a concious effort to walk more instead of jumping in the car, but these are only small changes that make a difference. But I definately agree it's about life change, and to be totally honest I find it impossible to imagine my life without certain foods, but you don't have to give up on these completely, as long as you incorporate them in your meal plan. eg If I really want a chocolate bar, I'll have one for my pudding, but I wont have anything like that between my meals.(I've had 3 choc bars in 3 weeks) Also asking yourself questions like do I really want this creme cake more than I want to lose weight helps me, as the answer is always no, and i'll make better choices. I was thinking to myself, even if I lose 2lb a month - thats almost 2 stone a year...and if it stays off because I can stick to it, then thats good enough for me!!

All the best everyone!
 


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