BigGirlNoMore
New Member
Hi everyone,
So I started LP just over 2 weeks ago and as my friends are getting increasingly bored of hearing me talk about hunger, I thought I should find somewhere where other people can relate to me.
Background - I was never a particularly large child but at the age of 13, I went through a bout of depression and found FOOD, in a big way! And as soon as it was on, it never came off. I fluctuated between 11.5 and 13 stone all through my teens, while my friends all happily shared their size 10 clothes... It certainly didn't help that I was 'blessed' with 36F boobs by the age of 14.
So now at the grand old age of 22, I was a 14-16 and very unhappy.
I know this doesn't sound too bad and compared to what some of the people here are doing, it sounds measly but I think if you're unhappy and ashamed of your body, it still feels the same. And I am not a person who carries weight well, it sits in all the WRONG places! So I can't even embrace my curves in clothes, I look like a sausage squeezed in clingfilm.
Exercise has never been a problem, I rather like being active but despite exercise, I NEVER LOST WEIGHT. I simply have a food addiction. I am a person who will hide chocolate in her wardrobe to eat for breakfast. I am a person who will order an entire family bucket of KFC and eat it all herself. I am a person who will walk to the corner shop in the middle of a rainy night to buy a tub of Ben and Jerry's which will then be smothered in double cream and caramel. Family size bags of crisps with half a jar of mayo, 3 donner kebabs at 4 in the afternoon, you name it, I've probably eaten it...
So the change HAD to come with my eating habits.
I read about LT during the summer (while I was covering up in long tshirts and linen trousers) and it took me till NOVEMBER to pluck up the courage to start. I had all sorts of things going through my mind, the pharmacist would sneer at me for being too fat, they would say I was uneligible, whatever... When I finally did pluck up the courage to go to my local pharmacy, they had stopped doing it but I managed to keep my resolve and go to a different one the next day.
The first few days were TORTURE, I literally hallucinated food. I dreamt that I was stuffing my face with Galaxy caramel bars and woke up in the middle of the night just to make I hadn't... I'm craving cheese, soup, crusty french bread, boiled eggs with soldiers, curry, garlic with ANYTHING, chips and pastries... But I kept telling myself its not like I'm never eating again (obviously not in the quantities before) but just not for the next few months... Had to keep telling myself just get through week 1...
At my first WI, I had lost 7lbs, that was the best motivation EVER!! The second week was also tough but I'm starting to like the shakes and I lost 7lbs again! I'm now 2 days into the 3rd week and I sort of look at food now as an alien thing. Its like being someone who doesn't smoke looking at cigarettes, yeah they're there and they're just a part of life but they're not a part of MY life. Like food. Food is now something I just do not (well try not) to associate with, like I don't open the fridge at home or go in the food aisles in supermarkets.
Which brings me to my last point; my job is a cook.
Rubbish I know. But I have learnt to be gratified by just the smell of dishes, I don't feel the need to pick. And if I do need to taste sauces, gravies etc, they go to the back of my mouth to my taste buds and are then spat back out...
I'm doing this for another month, up until Christmas. Because God knows I cannot cook Chrstmas dinner without being able to eat it but I will be very firm with myself! No roast potatoes!!
Other stories on here have been inspirational to me when I have been awake at half 3 in the morning, crying with hunger. But I will NOT cheat and will try to keep you all updated with my progress.
God bless.
So I started LP just over 2 weeks ago and as my friends are getting increasingly bored of hearing me talk about hunger, I thought I should find somewhere where other people can relate to me.
Background - I was never a particularly large child but at the age of 13, I went through a bout of depression and found FOOD, in a big way! And as soon as it was on, it never came off. I fluctuated between 11.5 and 13 stone all through my teens, while my friends all happily shared their size 10 clothes... It certainly didn't help that I was 'blessed' with 36F boobs by the age of 14.
So now at the grand old age of 22, I was a 14-16 and very unhappy.
I know this doesn't sound too bad and compared to what some of the people here are doing, it sounds measly but I think if you're unhappy and ashamed of your body, it still feels the same. And I am not a person who carries weight well, it sits in all the WRONG places! So I can't even embrace my curves in clothes, I look like a sausage squeezed in clingfilm.
Exercise has never been a problem, I rather like being active but despite exercise, I NEVER LOST WEIGHT. I simply have a food addiction. I am a person who will hide chocolate in her wardrobe to eat for breakfast. I am a person who will order an entire family bucket of KFC and eat it all herself. I am a person who will walk to the corner shop in the middle of a rainy night to buy a tub of Ben and Jerry's which will then be smothered in double cream and caramel. Family size bags of crisps with half a jar of mayo, 3 donner kebabs at 4 in the afternoon, you name it, I've probably eaten it...
So the change HAD to come with my eating habits.
I read about LT during the summer (while I was covering up in long tshirts and linen trousers) and it took me till NOVEMBER to pluck up the courage to start. I had all sorts of things going through my mind, the pharmacist would sneer at me for being too fat, they would say I was uneligible, whatever... When I finally did pluck up the courage to go to my local pharmacy, they had stopped doing it but I managed to keep my resolve and go to a different one the next day.
The first few days were TORTURE, I literally hallucinated food. I dreamt that I was stuffing my face with Galaxy caramel bars and woke up in the middle of the night just to make I hadn't... I'm craving cheese, soup, crusty french bread, boiled eggs with soldiers, curry, garlic with ANYTHING, chips and pastries... But I kept telling myself its not like I'm never eating again (obviously not in the quantities before) but just not for the next few months... Had to keep telling myself just get through week 1...
At my first WI, I had lost 7lbs, that was the best motivation EVER!! The second week was also tough but I'm starting to like the shakes and I lost 7lbs again! I'm now 2 days into the 3rd week and I sort of look at food now as an alien thing. Its like being someone who doesn't smoke looking at cigarettes, yeah they're there and they're just a part of life but they're not a part of MY life. Like food. Food is now something I just do not (well try not) to associate with, like I don't open the fridge at home or go in the food aisles in supermarkets.
Which brings me to my last point; my job is a cook.
Rubbish I know. But I have learnt to be gratified by just the smell of dishes, I don't feel the need to pick. And if I do need to taste sauces, gravies etc, they go to the back of my mouth to my taste buds and are then spat back out...
I'm doing this for another month, up until Christmas. Because God knows I cannot cook Chrstmas dinner without being able to eat it but I will be very firm with myself! No roast potatoes!!
Other stories on here have been inspirational to me when I have been awake at half 3 in the morning, crying with hunger. But I will NOT cheat and will try to keep you all updated with my progress.
God bless.
