The worm is turning!!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by brumchick, 23 November 2008 Social URL.

  1. brumchick

    brumchick Full Member

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    Last night I saw my sister for the 1st time since starting on LL.She was full of praise about my initial weight loss and then asked me how far I intended to go. I should have picked up the inference of "how far" but I didnt. I told her what my goal was and she literally shrieked " you can't be as slim as me ( size 10/12)you would look ill! In the past i have always gone along with this- she is the slim , pretty one , I am the "curvy" one with lovely hair, scenario but no more. I calmly said that whatever weight I choose to be is my business. It didn't shut her up but made me feel better :D:D
    Do they put something in the foodpacks that does this to you??;)
     
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  3. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Go girl................

    :family2:I can so relate to what you say. My sister has been fine although she's always been the tall slim elegant one (like my mum) and I've always been the chubby (Morbidly obese!) witty lively one - until now.
    I have a friend (a good one, I think!)
    who is petite and very slim - prides herself on being tiny - suddenly keeps asking me what size I am now.
    When I got to size 12she said I had to stop soon or I'd be smaller than her. I asked if that would be a problem for her -and she said "yes it would". I was amazed.
    Yesterday she phoned to say she hasn't been eating much lately and is now size 6-8, trousers falling off her.
    I wonder if it's related to the same issue? How strange. I have no intention or desire to lose much more now. I 'm very happy and healthy.
    But you are right. We do get the strength to stand up to people who have a problem with us losing weight.
    Keep it up. You'll find the right thingto say.
    Good luck with your sister.
     
  4. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    I think as we lose weight we become more confident.
    I stood up for myself with my mother, after years & years of being criticised & walked all over.
    She didn't like it & we haven't spoke in a year & a half.
    She is overweight & hated to see me losing weight & doing well.
    She made me very unhappy & I realised she was part of my weight problem.
    As far as I'm concerned its her loss.
     
  5. tara66

    tara66 Silver Member

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    Its funny how close friends and family often want to be supportive but get very comfortable with us playing our 'roles' and can get a bit freaked out when we decide that we don't want to stay the same.

    Well done on being assertive with your sister it is important for the success of this journey that you value you yourself enough to speak up for yourself now and again.

    I have had a few niggling issues with both my sisters recently that I think are about a bit of resentment about my success. I love them both dearly and I know they love me so I am just not letting it stop me reaching my goal.

    Go you girl !!! x
     
  6. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again, anyone who criticises your weight loss, says something like “you should stop / you can’t be as thin as me, you’ll look ill” etc. is probably just plain jealous, either because you’ll soon be slimmer/weigh less/look better than they do, or because it shows a strength of mind and body that they do not have.

    As for your friend, claiming that she’s “not been eating much” and is now a size 6/8 probably just shows how desperate some people are to keep their status as the “slim one”; of course the ironic thing is, that at a bony 6/8, you’ll be looking much better than she does as she’ll probably look ill!


    It's bound to be different from a blokes POV as well. I can't see my brother, best friend or any other male member of my family telling me I should stop at a certain point, or being annoyed/outraged/moody because I weighed less than they do, but I can see my mum, aunts, nan and some female friends sharing their "concern" as to how "healthy" it is to lose so much weight.

    Good for you for telling her it's your choice though! :)


    I said on a another thread, that if anyone says to me "you should stop now", I'd work out how much I had left to lose, convert that into bags of sugar, then take them to Tescos, put that weight in a basket and tell them to carry that around the shop for half an hour, just to show them how much weight you still are carrying around - most people don't realise just how heavy a stone or two actually is until they are shown in a way such as that! :rolleyes:
     
  7. brumchick

    brumchick Full Member

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    Nice one Pete,
    Just picturing my sis walking around with 30 odd bags of sugar wrapped around her like a belt:8855:
     
  8. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Good on you for standing up for yourself. I've had a similar situation my mother in law told me a while ago she had a nightmare that I was slimmer than her, it cam up in conversation at the weekend and I said I soon will be and she said well I'd better get some weight off then grr...
    It's jealousy hun they can't stand that we might look better than them...and we will...

    Emma xXx
     
  9. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    I last saw my sister at the end of October, when I was nearly 3 stone down - strangely enough she didn't comment on my weight loss at all!!

    Shes always been the slim one and me the big busty clown of the family. I found it strange that there was no comment at all - not even a "well done".

    The next time I see her will probably be Christmas - by which time I'll probably be 5 stone down, and thinner than her! I don't expect anything to be said then either!

    Funny, and a little sad, how your own family can be jealous of your achievements........:eek:

    xx
     
  10. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    Change can scare people and make them act quite bizare.

    B x
     
  11. lil miss mummy

    lil miss mummy Full Member

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    I think it is because people have got used to the way you look and by you changing that makes them worry that you will change the person you are! People are scared of change!

    Go with Petes idea! That is fantastic! x
     
  12. MandyLupton

    MandyLupton Gold Member

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    It makes you wonder why people can't just be happy for you doesn't it!
     
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