This diet has messed with my head

Lovingbeingslimmer

Full Member
I could never say that the Cambridge diet doesn't work, in fact it was the only thing that had ever worked for me in losing weight. However I feel that it has made me Ill. I started at 13st 5 and I'm 5ft6. I did sole source plus and for months never cheated once. I got down to my target of 10st 4 a week before my holiday and everyone thought I looked great. I can honestly say though I was more unhappy and took longer to try on and buy clothes than ever before and on my holiday despite being 3 dress sizes smaller would not go near a bikini or swimsuit and I feel like everyone would be staring at my body that to me still feels huge! Following sole source plus where 200 cals is the max for a meal when researching menus when wanting to eat out I panic after looking at the nutritional info as I couldnt bare to eat a meal that is 700 cals for example I feel that that will be it and bam I'll be back at size 16. If I do eat out I can feel my stomach growing my hips feel bigger etc etc! I spend my whole day counting up calories and planning when I'm goin to eat or not eat! I feel my brain hasn't caught up with how I look and I am still losing and am currently 8 stone 10. Everyone comments on how I look Ill and I am still deeply unhappy with my body. I have signed up to weight watchers to move away from calories and to try use points so I can eat different things. I think this diet changes the way you think about food but not always positively and changed to your body happen to quick. I just wonder if ever again I will be able to walk into a newsagent a buy a chocolate bar ever again because right now the thought of doing that seems totally impossible.
 
Hello there, am on my iphone - so hard to type long response at work, but I hear ya and will come back to you when I'm at home later. I know all about the end of SS madness...and the distorted thoughts that follow. Sx
 
I don't know what to say hun just didn't want to read and run i'm sure someone will have some great advice.
 
Same sentiment as Tinker, didn't want to read and run - To be honest though I'm not sure whether this is Cambridge specific or whether it's just a mental consequence of most successful diets.

In the past I used Slimming World to get down from 16st 10lbs to 12st 10lbs and I looked great at that weight (as I'm a fairly big-built guy anyway) - but I was still in crazy diet mode. to get the last couple of stone off I went super strict - no syns, no cheats, I was pretty much just living on free food and I remember reaching goal and being at my great grandmas 80th with a family member, literally, holding champagne (which I would normally gulp down) to my mouth and forcing me to take a sip because it was 'rude not to toast' - I was terrified of anything that wasn't a free food in case the weight came back.

I also didn't feel thin. I look back at photos from that time now and think I look gaunt and -too- thin for my build, which is what all my family at the time were telling me and they were trying to get me to stop dieting, etc, however I remember still feeling miserable and like I had a way to go.

I would imagine this sort of thing is best worked through with a counselor/therapist that has experience with eating disorders (as I guess that's what it borders on) - Unfortunately I dealt with it the wrong way by going off the wagon and piling it back on so I obviously hadn't created a healthy attitude towards foods and it sounds to me like you may be in a similar boat.

If I were you I would honestly seek advice through some sort of counseling service (sometimes employers have services like this that you can refer to for free so might be worth checking, alternatively some health insurance packages include x number of free counseling visits). It would probably help just to have someone experienced and professional to talk it through with who may be able to give you exercises and such to help you feel better about 'normal' healthy eating so that you're able to maintain and be happy :)

Whatever you choose to do though I wish you the best of luck, it's not nice to finally reach goal and then feel you have another hurdle to overcome but if you try, I have faith that you will succeed.

- Joe
 
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Thank you for the kind words. It's nice to know you went through the same thing Joe. I just feel like if I was to put on even a lb it would show and people would be like I told you so! I just hope that sooner it will become not the only thing that I think about and that I will be able to live again!
 
Hi there...you're definitely not alone. The first thing to remember is after SSing you look more gaunt and slim than you really are but your brain can still think very much otherwise. The other people factor - ugh - I did put it all on again. And I know damn well what some people were saying behind my back, but I don't care cos they're not me.

First things first - you recognise there's a distortion in your thinking - which is good going - it shows you're self-aware and savvy, so you can overcome this. I would recommend you find some form of counselling, whether it's some sort of group therapy - you don;t have to commit to it - just go and find out about it - talk to other people in a safe place and try to gather your thoughts. The CBT method would be to make a log of every time you catch yourself thinking these thoughts and to think about why you thought them. Then look at turning the thought on its head or improving it and making it into a positive thought. eg 'Good on your for remaining conscientious, however, I do need to eat enough nutrition and variety to also keep me healthy, so lets find something I can eat that will do that for me'

The second thing is - the people who say you look ill...you need to explain to them that at the moment you are gradually replacing your water weight that you lost in the first week, once that has returned you'll have a bonnier healthier face and look a bit less like skeletor, but you want it to come back gradually, not all in one week, thank you very much and Cambridge also has a plan that helps you do that, so thank them for their concern and move on. You are not ill, you have just changed!

The trying on clothes thing...this is going to sound well cheesy, but you need to spend some time with yourself learning to love this new you again. I got that wrong. I was blimmin' terrified by the fact I had to go theough the skinny girl's door at work (our revolving doors are so heavy anyone under 10st can't shift them) instead of thinking 'Whooo! I'm one of the skinny girls!' I was all 'I AM A WEAKLING!'

If food is scary, treat yourself to delicious simple things. Enjoy 250g prawns, buy the bestest eggs in the world, get something simple and delicious and love it. You start this diet out of hate in a way - you have to be furious with yourself to consider not eating for several months! You have to end it by falling in love with yourself again. Don't stress, don;t let other people stress you. You have done brilliantly well at coaching yourself to your loss - you now have a lot to gain that isn't weight.

I sound like a hippy don't I - but please take care of yourself...be as loving and kind as you can and ask for support from people who love you.
 
Heh - I've just realised that the first word of your name is 'Loving' - IT'S A SIGN!!!
 
Amazing advice.

Good luck.
 
I feel a bit the same as u ... Lost 2 stone and 9 7 now. Can lose any more through cambridge , have tried ! Weight watchers sounds like a plan ?

Would love another 7lb !
 
Amysperring said:
I feel a bit the same as u ... Lost 2 stone and 9 7 now. Can lose any more through cambridge , have tried ! Weight watchers sounds like a plan ?

Would love another 7lb !

How tall are you?
 
Maybe moving onto WW or something easier and more healthy to follow long term might work well for you.

Good luck!
 
Amysperring said:

(sorry didn't explain - I was just trying to work how how much weight you had left to lose!)

Good luck!
 
Amysperring said:
Yes think it might ... Gunna join online today ! Don't want to undo all the good work :)

Good luck! Keep us posted with how you get on!
 
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