Thoughts......

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Musical Missy, 6 October 2007 Social URL.

  1. Musical Missy

    Musical Missy Full Member

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    Went into Matalan earlier today (thought it might be worth a look for cheap clothes) and it was really strange. They've got a new plus sized range in (Rogers and Rogers I think?) and for the first time ever I didn't even consider having a look - I just looked at the 'normal' sized range. Its a very odd thought that I can now go into most shops (bar Topshop which is still my ultimate goal!) and fit into their clothes. Admittedly I'm still wearing size 20 bottom halfs although they are now pretty loose but I did buy a size 18 pair of trousers yesterday so I think I am now officially an 18. When I bought the trousers I bought a size 16 top and that fits easily (must be a 'big' 16 as it seems far too loose!)
    Considering only 11 weeks ago I was wearing size 22/24 jeans and size 20 tops I'm quite pleased about this.

    People are also really starting to notice now as well - I always said 3 stone would be the 'noticing point' and it would seem I was right - its all very well people who know I'm on LL paying me compliments but I find its the compliments made by people who don't know about LL that mean the most to me. In my head that means that I must look different as apposed to my friends and family who I always think are just saying it to make me feel better (crooked thinking??)

    Does anyone else feel though that during their time on LL, it feels as if they're waiting for something? I'm constantly looking forward and kind of feel like I'm putting my life on hold until this is all over. Hope this makes sense (it does in my head!)

    MM x
     
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  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    It is lovely when people begin to notice the difference and you feel all your hard work is beginning to pay off!

    Enjoy all the compliments because you deserve them:)

    Well done MM on your new clothes and size 16 top!!!:wow:

    Feels good doesn't it not to be confined to the fat shops!


    I am on CD but can totally relate to this feeling!

    Trying my best to step out of this box and some days I do feel I succeed.

    Love Mini xxx
     
  4. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    Hello Musical Missy

    Well done on such a fantastic start.

    I think many of us will know exactly what you mean about life being on hold so you are not alone.

    I am not sure if what I say is going to be helpful or not. I did put a large part of my (personal/social) life on hold while I did LighterLife Foundation and Development and I am not sure that this is a good idea. I felt I needed the space but, now that I am in Route to Management, my social life has picked up some more and it's hard. Harder than I thought.

    It may be that there is more of a balance to be achieved! If you think you are waiting for something, think about what that something might be and maybe think about how you can work towards it, more quickly. If you put too much of your life on hold, while losing the weight, you may miss out on things; well, that's my experience.

    I was waiting, I think, for my life to change for the better. I thought that being slim would change my life. Well, it hasn't. That isn't meant to be negative but I think there is a belief that losing the pounds will make the problems/challenges go away. They don't.

    BUT if you use all the tools available to you in Foundation, there is no doubt that these are things that can be adapted for life...after LighterLife. The key thing is to understand what got you/me/us to the weights we were and how we can prevent going back to those days.

    Do I regret losing weight? Absolutely not! It's a fantastic thing to have done but, what's clear, is that losing the weight is just the beginning.

    My advice is enjoy the journey as much as you can and learn as much as you can; these things will help you in the future.

    Take care.

    Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  5. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Took the words right out of my mouth there Mrs L:p

    I certainly felt like I put my life on hold to a certain extent. To be honest, I'm glad I did. I don't think I could have done it in the space of time had I not given it that 'pause'. Reapring the benefits now though :clap:
     
  6. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Mrs L, you put so eloquently what I was thinking.

    I practically lived like a hermit whilst doing LL. It was great to lose the weight but when I moved to Wales and my new life I really didn't have the tools to cope because I had been putting my life on hold. Combined with moving away from my LLC and group support system, I panicked and subsequently put on 3 stone.

    I am back in the zone (doing CD) but learning that I have to be able to live my life at the same time. Like Mrs L my social life has picked up and I now have to make a judgement call every time I go out (drink or not drink etc). This is not what LL subscribes to, and I'm not knocking LL - they were my life saver, but I've got to get the balance right in order to enjoy my life.

    Sorry this is a ramble!!
     
  7. scotwannabethin

    scotwannabethin Back to the grindstone!!

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    Hi guys,
    I am not sure about the putting life on hold thing. :confused:
    I thought about it at the start of foundation and don't get me wrong, my social life isn't that hectic, I wish, but I decided that I would do my very best to not exclude myself.
    I have attended BBQ's, weddings and lots of nights out and even a birthday dinner party on Friday past. With the exception of a planned "deviation" I have stuck to the plan (LL for me). I found that folk were initially worried and were suggesting things I could have, you all know the type of things, "perhaps some soup, or a salad?". :eek:
    I am finding that I can now handle pretty much all the possible senarios quite easily but don't get me wrong, it is difficult when you are faced with 14 folk sitting round you, all tucking into the most fantastically smelling food going, but I can see that I am doing myself some good by sticking to the plan and there is still that voice in my head telling me that one slip up would lead to another and it is pretty much shouting at the moment. :blahblah:
    You just have to read some of the excellent posts on here to realise that it doesn't take much even for those who have excelled, to fall off the wagon.
    I always knew it was going to be difficult but I am trying to make sure that by going to these events that I am not thrown in at the deep end when I do come back to the "real" world of food.
    :D
     
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  8. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I think that's fantastic. Though, obviously there were things I needed to attend, and managed to stay SS with, I didn't really challenge myself wholeheartedly until I got to goal.

    You are doing something that I worked on in fine detail when I got to goal and it's a great skill to have. Being able to say no, sticking by your convictions, enjoying yourself without using food, learning how to deal with every 'senario' so that I could knock my AD (addictive desire) on the head.

    I just didn't feel that I wanted to challenge myself too much during the diet, but that was just a personal choice. It is a good idea to challenge yourself at some point though, so why not sooner that later.....if you can do it :)

    Thinking about this thread though, there is a feeling of life on hold beside the social aspect. It's waiting for the next meal, waiting for the next weigh in, waiting for the next mini goal, waiting for the last goal. Always waiting....and waiting...:rolleyes: Longing for the next thing to happen.

    This was the one thing I had to knock on the head when I got to goal. I was no longer waiting for something. This had to be just something that I was doing. No more landmarks, no more starting points, no more ribbons to run through. Just getting on with life, whether it was social, or the mundane routine. Plodding on with never a 'start tomorrow' or 'will I have lost by...'
     
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  9. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Um, very good point KD. I've never thought of things in those terms. When I got to goal I had no time to adapt and my life was literally turned upside down. I had been waiting for something to happen and then it did! Major things happened and I just wasn't prepared and the weight went back on. No excuses though, it was me that fell off the wagon and didn't maintain.

    Your post has made me realise I am so used to aiming for the next thing (in weight terms anyway) that I have never considered what I will aim for once I'm there. I guess it will be a case of, like you say, getting on with things and living each day. I suppose I will have to starting aiming for non weight related goals. That was always the holy grail when wanting to lose weight, to make my life better - all those plans, the "when I get there......". I suppose we never really visualise or imagine what it will really be like. I have always had a sense that my life will be "perfect" when I'm at goal. Of course it won't and that's scary. Oh dear, I'm beginning to frighten myself.

    Might have to go away and think about this once before posting anymore.
     
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  10. Musical Missy

    Musical Missy Full Member

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    Thanks guys - its always nice to know I'm not on my own feeling this way.

    Karion you've completely hit the nail on the head, I always seem to be 'waiting' for Monday nights (LL night), waiting for the weigh in, waiting to officially get that little bit closer to goal and waiting til I can feel 'normal' again.
    Normal will be going 'home' on a sunday for sunday lunch, going out for an impromtu meal with a friends or inviting people round for dinner and even being around people eating without them feeling the need to apologise for eating every couple of minutes!


    Mrs Lard - I think too many people think their lives will automatically change once they're 'thin'. Thankfully I'm not one of them. I already know how lucky I am in most aspects of my life but there are some bigs things that I am hoping losing the weight will help to change (mainly the lifelong lack of men in my life!) however I'm only too aware that its me that has to make the change - I can't just sit back and wait.

    I think if waiting is what is takes, then so be it, hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.

    MM x
     
  11. janetljones

    janetljones Full Member

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    This is a really interesting thread, thanks for starting it MM.

    If you'll forgive the analogy, it has given me food for thought. I can totally relate to weeks spent waiting for the weekly weigh in and hoping to be nearer target. I have been avoiding social eating occasions, I haven't felt strong enough to resist if the food was right there in front of me. One of our group members has attended 3 weddings and she said that the first was the hardest, but after successfully abstaining it became easier, not least because those around her respected her choice. I'm not there yet but I will give serious thought to testing this during development rather than maintenance.
     
  12. DramaQueen

    DramaQueen Full Member

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    Excellent thread .

    Before I started LL I really didn't think I would be able to attend any social gatherings and not eat. I do like a glass of wine but was not bothered by not being able drink.

    However, there have been a number of unavoidable situations where I have had to be present while lots and lots of my fave food has been cooked and eaten. i think in the last 4 weeks i have had to sit in social gatherings and abstain about 6 times. It is bloody hard. Yes, I do feel great the next day and am proud of myself but I constantly feel like I am on the outside of life. I know it is not forever and what I always tell myself is that "food is always going to be there " I may not be able to have any now but one day i will be eating again and enjoying food in a whole new and controlled way (that is the aim, anyway) .

    Funnily enough one of the greatest challenges I have experienced is going on right as I type. I am cooking lamb as it is my family fave meal (and mine) and the smell is killing me. I am dying to have a bite...... It is a constant fight of good V evil! LOL x
     
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