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time machine

S: 17st7lb C: 16st13lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 36 Loss: 0st8lb(3.27%)

just been doing a lot of thinking lately about many things and i wonder how many of you would like to own a time machine to change events in your life and if you did and only had 1 trip there and back left what would you change?

for me i think my biggest thing would be my mum as this has been on my mind lately. i would go back and get her to the docs sooner as she kept many things hidden until it was quite bad. i think she was frightened about it all but that's the wrong thing to do. mind whether she would have listened to me i just don't know!
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Why Be Normal?
S: 192lb C: 192lb G: 138lb BMI: 33 Loss: 0lb(0%)
Hi Great Things --

Did you ever see the movie "Peggy Sue Got Married" or "Sliding Doors". In PSGM the protagonist realises that if she changed "one thing" it would change "everything". I am sure there are things in your life that will happen that you will not want changed -- and, although, the loss of mother is tragic and you would probably give anything to have her back -- changing it could (in therory mean) that you lose something else.
For example -- you mom got medical and was in the hospital, where you go to visit her, on your way you have a bad car accident.. etc.

I am big believer in that "God Does Not Make Mistakes"... acceptance is important. You did your best for your mother, you would have never not gotten her help if you knew, and it was her life and her choices.

Something very similar happened with my father in law. He was ill for a very long time and kept it to himself (literally suffering in silence).

He chose to do this, because he had seen what it did to his neighbours when the husband died a long, lingering, painful death from brain cancer. (The widow still had nightmares about how her husband suffered years later.)

When he fell ill... he had a pretty good idea that it might be "bad". He chose to make the most out of the time he had left with beloved wife and family -- he sat in church with his wife (had never gone and she did weekly), insisted that she finally redmodel the kitchen, planned a big holiday with her, had lots of family gatherings, etc. He lived life to fullest, right up until he fell very ill and was forced to go to the doctor.
The doctor realised immediately that he was looking at more than Pneumonia on the Xray and sent him to the hospital. He died from the pneumonia within days -- after my husband insisted they stop treating him for it, as he was terminally ill with Stage 4 lung cancer.

My husband got it -- his dad got to say his good-byes and make more good memories. He was going to go fast and not make his wife suffer through nursing him or seeing him suffer.

And, at first, everyone in the family kept saying... "I should have.." , "I would have.." -- but then we all realised what happened was what was supposed to happen... and John died a death that was his choice and made this choice out of love.

It is very possible that your mother chose to let things "go their natural course" because she did not want people to see her or help her to "swim upstream" in vain. I hope she had peace with her decision and I also hope that you fine peace.

You are so fortunate to have a mother that you loved so much -- and seems to have deserved your love.

Sorry to ramble, but I have read your posts mentioning your mum recently... and it seems as if you are really hurting. Understandably. Your mother would not want you to grieve like this... I think she would want you to celebrate her life by living yours. Think about how you want your children to deal with your passing?

I hope things get better for you soon. Not grieving is not forgetting --



On a mission
S: 17st3lb C: 12st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 27.9 Loss: 4st7lb(26.14%)
Mine would be to find CD sooner

I did LT for the second time in jan 2008, but only managed 3 weeks that time as I couldn't bare the choc shake anymore.

I know that if I'd found CD then, I'd be at goal now!
S: 17st7lb C: 16st13lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 36 Loss: 0st8lb(3.27%)
i think she herself is grieving or will be grieving her leg. it's just an interesting thought about if you could intervene would a) it make the difference or b) would that person have done anything about it at all, not them knowing what would happen if they didn't but more if you pestered them to take action would they ignore or be pro-active.

i've seen sliding doors and seen many programmes with the if you change one thing many things change etc. it was more in interesting idea of what you'd change than a requiem lol. i'm sure before mum got bad with her leg i could have thought about 1 million other things to change :) we are often, as a human race, very fickle for the what's going on at the time.


Why Be Normal?
S: 192lb C: 192lb G: 138lb BMI: 33 Loss: 0lb(0%)
@chele -- I do think I agree with yours. I would either never have allowed myself to gain the weight to begin with -- or found out about VLCD (and a good one) a lot sooner.


Mrs Taurus

Silver Member
S: 18st2lb C: 17st11lb G: 12st1lb BMI: 36.8 Loss: 0st5lb(1.97%)
In one respect I would have never have let my mum have the hip replacement/ negligent follow up care at the hospital she did 6 days before she died suddenly.....but similar to MM I try hard to believe that everything happens for a reason(I am not religious,but this theory helpd me accept some of the do do life dishes out) and although I have lost a wonderful mum and best friend I will never have to watch her suffer, if I could go as quick as my mum when my time ends then I would. Mum also died when she was at her happiest in life, so as I say she was saved from any future suffering or pain.

Weight wise I would never have started drinking in the week(apart from special occassions) and wished I'd found cd in 2008 when I struggled to get the post-mum/baby gain off without being able to get to a gym and relied on many failed sw re-starts.

Some things we don't have the power to change, but its never too late to change things within our control. x

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