time to care about me!!

[katty]

well i think its time i started keeping a little diary of whats going on. i'm over half way to target....although i may move it when i get there, we'll see.
August last year, i have a keyring with a picture of me and my best buds on a night out, so i see that picture everyday, its my inspirtation and motivation to get away from the person i was just 7 months ago.
to think nothing of stuffing myself with crappy food knowing full well it'd make me feel low and depressed immidiately afterwards. the shame of wearing a swimming costume or a dress for an occasion, and thats exactly what it was, pure shame.
my constant battle with the food, the weight and the confidence is gradually becoming easier. the reason i start a diary today is quite significant to me because for the first time i can say i am a size 12.........when i was 13 i was 12 and a half stone, i can remember the day when i stood on my aunties scales and saw 12 and a half whole stones hit me in the face, i felt the same then as i did 7 months ago. yet i often wonder why its taken me 15 years to do something about it?? although 3 kids could have something to do with it, and a hubby, oh and a dog lol


self control is a huge thing with me, its something i can now happily say i have, i don't drink, well very rarely, and i stopped smoking 16 months ago....that was a huge stepping stone to me being here now. looking back stopping smoking was easy compared to some of the days i have with food cravings, especially chocolate, mmmm cadburys creme egg.....syns are used today though.

soooo i am far from over it, i still have huge confidence issues and i still see a fat person staring back at me in the mirror.....however, i am fitter than i ever have been and in the right clothes i can occasionally feel good about myself.

i'm 30 in feb, so i would LOVE to be at target by then, i'm 11 stone 9 lb this week, my target is 10 stone, but with some extra hard work i reckon 9 would be my comfy weight since i am a midget at 5 foot 2.

first essay completed, and i feel good about this, its gonna help me lots to read back in the future and hello to anyone whos reading my little journey xxxxx

 

[Kankles]

What a lovely inspirational story, well done on your weight loss and good luck for the rest of your journey

Xxx

 

[Curvalicious]

great story, you've done excellently, will keep popping in to read updates.

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Katty, Good for you starting up your own diary. I think it makes you feel that you have a space where you belong, IYKWIM!

Self control is what we all could do with a bit more of otherwise there wouldn't be anyone on here, hey?

Hope you have a happy journey.. al the best to you...

 

[katty]

thanks for the lovely kind words.
i'm having a good day today, still salad mad, i am most certainly gonna tire of it sooner or later. but at least its relatively cheap.
i had strawberries, banana and shape zero for brekkie.
rocket,salad leaves, radish, tomato, spring onion, beetroot... i cant get enough of beetroot at the moment, cucumber with fried onion and tuna for lunch. it was a challenge to eat it but i got there in the end
don't know whats for tea but just had 3 mikados yummy!!!

suns out too, we took the dog for a walk earlier and i am now thinking of going for a run when my hubby gets back later.

 

[Funky_Munky]

Hi katty ive just started back on sw this week. Im at a similar weight to yourself and im aiming for a similar end goal. Im only a shorty myself!! Am looking forwards to reading your diary. Keep up the good work!

 

[katty]

thank you funky monkey, and good luck on your journey
gorgeous again today, and another good food day, i think i'm getting the hang of it all, i seem to concentrate on my superfree foods before i decide what the free foods are gonna be which can't be a bad thing really.
my pt session was cancelled today so i just did level one of gillian michaels 30 day shred and at around 6 o clock im gonna go for a 20-30 minute run. weigh in day tomorrow, hoping for a 1lb loss this week after getting my 2 and half stone award last week.

 

[katty]

another 1lb off for me on monday, just over 1 and a half stone to target now, thats a scary and exciting thought after all these years of being fat. i hope i feel good when i get there

had our first little bbq yesterday, 1st bbq since starting sw, and everything i had was either healthy extra or syn free so that was fab!! just had a couple of the new butterscotch hifis and they're very nice.

boot camp workout tonight, i've not done it for a week or so, its gonna kill me, although i can do level 2 on the 30 day shred without almost passing out and dying so i must be fitter than i was a couple of months ago lol

 

[katty]

bootcamp went fab, i ran around the football field without having to stop and gasp for breath. i did 10 full pressups with no stopping and generally just did loads of fun stuff in the pouring rain, loved it!! and the best part is, i'm not aching half as much as i used to at the start, just a few twinges.....its progress
however i am having a day off today as i don't wanna over do things and end up with a slight gain on monday, i'm still being good with my food. almost 8 months in now and strong as ever, its a miracle.

 

[katty]

just been on the treadmill for half hour and i ran for 24 minutes of it, i am well happy with that, yay!!! last time i could run 352e that i was in school!!!
food today: b-mullerlight and banana
l-pita(hb) with tuna,salad cream, salad and cheese(ha)
d-pork fillet, veg, mash and bovril gravy

 

[katty]

well i got through the weekend being on plan, even with a trip to the seaside and not indulging in fish and chips , just polish my halo lol. weigh in tonight, not too sure how is gonna go since i've done loads of exercise this week and also had a bit of pmt. but either way i won't be disappointed, can't lose every week .

my workout yesterday was painful to say the least, those medicine balls are the spawn of satan. and i ache today but its all progress i guess.

i'm finding some elements a bit tricky this week but i know the reason and i am just stepping back and following the plan the way i always have done. but if i do see the word calorie one more time i think my head might explode. slimming world is not about calories!! just had to come to my diary for a little rant about it

 

[herewego]

Hi Katty - I've just been catching up on your diary! You have done really well. I'm seriously impressed with your exercising, especially since you have kids and all. That's normally my excuse for not doing much...oh and I fool myself to think that walking our dogs is enough exercise! Will carry on reading your diary and hopefully some of your enthusiasm for exercise will rub off on me

 

[katty]

1 and a half lbs on for me at weigh in yesterday, i am guessing its a mixture of loads of exercise and not being 100 % strict with my syns. i wasn't overly disappointed though since theres a pattern anyway, usually 2/3 weeks of losses followed by the * week with a gain. confident i will have a loss on monday next week.
what i am gutted about however is the fact i have trapped nerves or something in my neck, its making me feel sick. so no exercise for me today :cry: i wouldnt be bothered but i love to do something these days. i just took the dog for a walk and only managed round the field cos i still felt sicky.
fingers crossed its better tomorrow, either way i am at the docs tomorrow so i can always ask if its still bad.
heres to a 100% week this week.

 

[katty]

easter eggs, kids have got 21 of the damn things between them. i've got a few creme eggs in the fridge waiting to be consumed next week.
i gained 1 and a half lbs unexpectedly last monday, i swear it was the copious amounts of exercise i did. but if i gained again tomorrow i know i would cry, lose motivation and have a breakdown, i pray it won't happen after not giving in to silly amount of choccie this weekend.
my syns have been between 7-10 per day, loads of fluids and a moderate amount of exercise(not enough but family were visiting). so for my peace of mind....if i DO have another gain tomorrow, my food diary is accurate and i have not gone off plan. so i shouldnt beat myself up......i am officially dreading wi tomorrow night i FEEL heavy, it weird.

 

[katty]

that alcohol stuff that i cut right down on is still as evil as it ever was...only now it takes a lot less to get me tipsy . had a sore head yesterday and probably went way over my syns on cocktails on friday night BUT on the plus side i stayed on check with my food....its a miracle!!
its been such a long time since i had a drink i thought i would treat myself, yuck yuck yuck, i felt awful yesterday for it but i enjoyed myself.
i wi on a thursday morning now while my hubby is away for 6 weeks. so i think i will be happy with a sts. a loss would be good.
time for exercise in an hour or so, bootcamp again, i love it in a sick kind of way haha, god only knows whats happened to my brain wiring. i've been out for a run twice this week too, getting worried!!! lol

 

[katty]

well today i just want to eat everything, i am so so tired and fed up. watching hubby pack his kit to go away yet again, this time for 6 weeks. so my exercise classes are put on hold and i am going to have to motivate myself to use my treadmill and start the dvds again.
tomorrow is wi day, so will go to class in the morning and then go for a run until caden finishes creche at 12. gonna have to plan my meals too because i don't want to be munching out of boredom cos im on my own on a night.

i've got 1 st and 8lb to lose til my original target, i'm hoping to lose 8lb at least while hubbys away. we will see :sigh:

 

[katty]

2lb off today, i am more than happy with that. no after wi treat today just normal eating. although theres a creme egg and curly wurly for after my exercise tonight. that'll be 15 syns well spent. never thought i would see 11 stone 7lb, its taken me 10 years to get here but im finally getting somewhere

 

[pnewton75]

Excellent stuff!
I'm very impressed with all the exercise and the control of the dreaded creme eggs!

 

[katty]

i am so tired today, last night was the worst nights sleep in a long time. i've not had much of an appitite today but i have eaten anyway. i had an egg sandwich for brekkie, ainsley cous cous with a bag of salad and feta for lunch and jacket potato for tea with peas and garlic kiev. i walked 3 miles and did a cardio dvd which has litterally put me on my ass lol. i am aching from the bootcamp but its all good.
just about to spend my remaining syns on something naughty, maybe some ice cream. ...

please let me be more awake tomorrow :cry:

 

[katty]

day 4 on my own...well i have the kids, and i'm doing ok. switched over to green days as i'm not bothering with meat or fish at all....i only eat it when hubbys here cos he couldn't live without meat.
green days seem to suit me better but we will see how it affects my losses on thursdays wi. i also like the fact that i don't feel the need to have the 1/3 superfree at every meal, i still snack on fruit inbetween though, loving pears at the moment.
i am most definitly having a day off from exercise today as i have done something everyday last week and my old bones and muscles are very achey.
i've been doing a lot of thinking about my target, i was considering dropping it from 10 stone down to 9 stone but from chatting with my hubby the other night it seems he thinks i would be too skinny. he reckons i am fine as i am now even though i have still got another one and half stone to lose. however i disagree with him because its my target and i am bloomin well gonna get to it. i've not been this weight since i've been with him, always 13stone plus, so i think maybe its hard for him to take in. i still cant believe ive got a grip of my weight and eating.
i just hope he still finds me attractive as a slimmer person than when i was big. i dunno, maybe 10 stone will be fine