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to tell or not to tell

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#1
Every diet i have done before i have broadcast the fact i am on a diet but this tim ei have just told my hubby and kids and my best friend. I don't want people to talk me out of it or to be negative.

I have one skinny friend who tries to feed me up all the time i will say I don't want a cake cheers and she will ask me every 5 mins are you sure go on have one.

its like i am the fat one and god forbid i was to lose weight and be the thin one for a change.

anyone else had this?????
 
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EllieMellie

Silver Member
S: 14st8lb C: 12st0lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 28.8 Loss: 2st8lb(17.65%)
#2
I have one skinny friend who tries to feed me up all the time i will say I don't want a cake cheers and she will ask me every 5 mins are you sure go on have one.

its like i am the fat one and god forbid i was to lose weight and be the thin one for a change.

anyone else had this?????
Yep, definitely! I think changing who you are makes people uncomfortable - plus there's potentially a hint of jealousy there. Also I think some people like having a heavy person in their social circle - it makes them feel better about themselves. If I am being honest with myself, I always felt better on nights out when I wasn't the biggest there to when I was!

Ellie xx
 

moti17

is gonna do it!!
S: 14st9lb G: 9st0lb
#3
yes, im always the fattest one, no more tho. Maybe she thinks your be more attractive than her when you've slimmed down, and cant cope with the fact!!
 
#4
I too am keeping my diet low key.. it's quite difficult socially. Sod's law - everyone keeps wanting to go out for dinner!

I have to admit I am one of those people that look around a group and think am i the biggest person? I am also relieved if I am not.
 

mollydog

Silver Member
S: 14st11lb C: 13st13.5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 33.6 Loss: 0st11.5lb(5.56%)
#5
I'm trying really hard to stick to SS for as long as possible and get the weight of quick so i can enjoy a slim summer. I'm also keeping it to myself for as long as i can as i feel i put myself under too much pressure to succeed if everyone knows. We have quite a busy social life but June is fairly quiet so i'm keeping my head down and my eye on the ball (my target!)
If i need to eat i'll try to stick to protein and greenery.
Well, that all sounds well and good in theory but as we all know its the putting it into practise.
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#6
Yep, definitely! I think changing who you are makes people uncomfortable - plus there's potentially a hint of jealousy there. Also I think some people like having a heavy person in their social circle - it makes them feel better about themselves. If I am being honest with myself, I always felt better on nights out when I wasn't the biggest there to when I was!

Ellie xx
oh god yeah me too or find bigger person and stand near them lol
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#7
I'm trying really hard to stick to SS for as long as possible and get the weight of quick so i can enjoy a slim summer. I'm also keeping it to myself for as long as i can as i feel i put myself under too much pressure to succeed if everyone knows. We have quite a busy social life but June is fairly quiet so i'm keeping my head down and my eye on the ball (my target!)
If i need to eat i'll try to stick to protein and greenery.
Well, that all sounds well and good in theory but as we all know its the putting it into practise.
i am doing SS for the same reason get it all off for summer and then deal with maintaining it. I really want it this time more than when i am on other diets
 

Starry26

Full Member
S: 18st10lb C: 18st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st6lb(2.29%)
#8
I totally agree, my grandma is always trying to feed me, every five minutes but then she'll say to me 'oh I do wish you loose weight'... she's a very big lady so doesn't want me to end up like her, her hearts in the right place but she doesn't realise.

You go for it! be the slimmer one and relish the fact that you succeeded thru it all!

x
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#9
I am also one of three sisters and i have always been the fat one and i know they use me as a sort of bench mark well i am not as big as kerry type thing well both of them are catching me up so maybe its my time to be the thin one lol
 
S: 13st3lb G: 10st0lb
#10
I told people, I figured they would all expect me to lose weight so it puts added pressure on me to stick to it. Because the diet is so black and white that if I do not lose all these people will know I failed. Self punishment, prob not healthy, but I get myself into a corner where not doing it is much harder than actaully doing it... feels easier then. LOL
 
S: 15st0lb C: 14st8lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 32.9 Loss: 0st6lb(2.86%)
#11
She may not be doing it with malice or jealousy.
Since I've been on CD, I'm constantly offering yummy delicious things to my OH, forcing him to eat them almost, just like your friend.

It's not that I want him to get bigger, it's just that I'm obstaining from eating it, and it's giving me some kind of perverse pleasure (I feel strength) because I chose not to eat that while he did.
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#12
She may not be doing it with malice or jealousy.
Since I've been on CD, I'm constantly offering yummy delicious things to my OH, forcing him to eat them almost, just like your friend.

It's not that I want him to get bigger, it's just that I'm obstaining from eating it, and it's giving me some kind of perverse pleasure (I feel strength) because I chose not to eat that while he did.
funny you should say that i have been doing the same lol strange isn't it but he is starting slim fast tomorrow as he needs to get in shape too
 

schindler

Keep on trying
S: 19st0.8lb C: 15st10.5lb G: 11st0.3lb BMI: 33.5 Loss: 3st4.3lb(17.35%)
#13
I told people, I figured they would all expect me to lose weight so it puts added pressure on me to stick to it. Because the diet is so black and white that if I do not lose all these people will know I failed. Self punishment, prob not healthy, but I get myself into a corner where not doing it is much harder than actaully doing it... feels easier then. LOL
That could have been me saying that - I have done the same - I am learning lesson from when I gave up smoking - the more people I told the more support I got - but you have to find the right people to give you support and not listen to the nay sayers

Like with the smoking I had a few mates who insisted on leaving me alone in the pub whilst they went to have a fag, those that argued I would never do it because I was such a smoker, those that told me my chosen method was not good for me, etc etc.

But it was the people who were nice, kind and supportive (funny enough the same people now who understand why I am dieting) - that I have told. There are other people I certainly will not tell - and would rather they found out when the results spoke for themselves.

Good luck with everything I am sure you will do just fine....xx
 

curlywurly1234

Cambridge Consultant
S: 15st1lb C: 8st10lb G: 8st10lb Loss: 6st5lb(42.18%)
#14
Good on you.. Tell who you feel comftable with and dont let anyone feed you up.
Skinny people like bigger people to stay big as it makes them feel better..
So stick with it hon and you will be slim like them all xxx
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#15
I am also one of three sisters and i have always been the fat one and i know they use me as a sort of bench mark well i am not as big as kerry type thing well both of them are catching me up so maybe its my time to be the thin one lol
lol my sister rang this morning to tell me she is joining a diet club on monday funny after i told her i am doing CD maybe she is scared i will be the better looking sister hang on i always was let me rephrase that maybe she is scared that i will be the thinnest sister :D:D
 

Starry26

Full Member
S: 18st10lb C: 18st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st6lb(2.29%)
#16
well well well, it's funny that isn't it! Haha! :)

X
 
S: 13st3lb G: 10st0lb
#17
Funny that because my mother has started a "strict diet" as she calls it, just yesterday!!
Could it be because with the potential of me losing a stone in 3 or 4 weeks would bring me EXACTLY to where she is. LOL.
How insulting to me to see that she can't stand to think she might not be smaller than the fat one in the family eh?!
 

Starry26

Full Member
S: 18st10lb C: 18st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st6lb(2.29%)
#18
Hmm, people are wierd aren't they, well there could be another reason maybe they just see you as inspiration to change themselves... hmmmm :D

Whilst we're on a roll, my husband is 6ft 3ins and should be 13st+ for his height, he always does this thing that when I weight myself and moan about it, he then weighs himself and says oh I've lost xx or I've put on xx weight, but he only weighs about 12 st.

He said to me last night "Do I look like I've put weight on??" so of course I said "No, why", he comes back with "well I weigh 12.5 stone now" - So of course now I'm thinking (((OH YOU FAT B*****D.... Why does he say/do stupid things like that.....
It just makes me feel like a grotesque beast of a person cos I am 9 stone overweight and weigh 6 stone more than my skinny husband!)))

Anyway, I didn't mean that to sound bad to him cos bless him he does support me and always tells me I'm beautiful/sexy, even when I've put on 4 stone since I met him, he still loves me and wouldnt dream of telling me to loose weight ever (or I'd smack him probably LOL :copon:)

X
 

kerryberry

Silver Member
S: 17st11lb C: 17st9lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 39.9 Loss: 0st2lb(0.8%)
#19
no i am the same i hate weighing more that my hubby who by the way is overweight to but i know 2 weeks of slim fast he will be back to his trim self.

we love them but they can be heartless sometimes
 

badger1980

Full Member
S: 24st7lb C: 14st7lb G: 13st7lb BMI: 27.5 Loss: 10st0lb(40.82%)
#20
As it goes I was always bigger than by brother, as soon as I was smaller than him and people started saying so he got on the diet himself. He was never jealous but couldnt handle people winding him up. He's lost 6 1/2 stone now so needless to say in my eyes I did him a favour.
I think its absolutely crucial that you take absolutely no notice of anyone elses opinion and do it 120% for yourself and your kids(you'll be around longer). Any opinions people have will be ill educated opinions, this diet works beyond working and if you do as your cdc says you will lose all the weight and keep it off. :)
 


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