Tollerance - and lack of it!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Polly740, 24 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    Hi guys,

    I have found that my tollerance of people and situations has taken a massive dip the past few weeks. Things that I would have put up with have really got my back up.

    Does anyone else feel like this or experienced this?
    Or is it just me?!!!

    I don't get a great deal of support or positivity at home for what I'm doing. Any compliments off the OH are very back handed and anything I acheive just seems to be swept under the carpet in order for him to talk about his day.

    To be honest I'm teetering on the brink of leaving him. After past disasterous relationships, cheating and hurting, I thought this one would be different. I just seem to have swapped the normal types of abuse for someone who couldn't give a toss.:mad:

    I do question myself on a daily basis and ask if it's really me that has the issue - but I can't see it. :sigh:

    When I read posts, like the one from Roundrachel, about OH's leaving notes and flowers saying how proud they are, it just really upsets me. I so want to feel like that - but I don't.:tear_drop:

    Don't get me wrong - I am really happy for the people it does happen to, they are really very lucky to have such support and encouragement. I'm just so jealous of what they have and I don't.

    Self self self aren't I !

    I'm sorry guys, I just had to get this out in black and white. I am so happy about doing LL and how far I have come - I'm just very naffed off about the rest of my life!!

    Please tell me that someone else feels like this!

    xx
     
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  3. annaphylactic

    annaphylactic Guess who's back...?

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    I completely understand where you are coming from - and you aren't being selfish - there is NOTHING wrong with high expectations, it is all down to self-respect.

    I went on a date with a guy a few weeks ago who was lovely. He popped to Tesco and appeared half an hour later with two bottles of evian and a bunch of flowers... he was really interested in what I was doing and even made me my shake that night - and this is the first time I had met the guy. Incredible!

    It's now making it really hard when the guy I am seeing is as supportive as a piece of knicker elastic dangling a JCB. Little ****. We have no history really - so I'm quite prepared to give him the shove if he doesn't get his attitude in gear. I told him that his comments and 'jokes' of trying to shove cake in my mouth were not appreciated and I really need his support. We'll see what happens.

    It does sound like your OH needs a bit of a reality check... maybe a quick explanation of the dangers of staying obese, and even overweight... frankly, if he is happy for you to stay big and risk various diseases, physical problems and even death - then that is a pretty scary concept. Perhaps he just doesn't realise the implications... and needs it outlining that it isn't just about vanity....

    Although - some vanity is good. There is nothing wrong with liking yourself! That's one lesson I'm trying to get to grips with now...

    A x
     
  4. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    I would have shoved that Kipling slice straight up his arse :mad:!!

    I've talked about it - said all about the dangers of being overweight being greater than the dangers of smoking, blah blah blah. To be honest I get sick of hearing myself talk. It goes in one ear and out of the other with him. Then he actually has the audacity to say that he might go on LL or CD!! There's no point moaning about wanting to lose weight while you're sticking a pie in your mouth.

    I feel absolutely helpless about this. Any discussion I have with him seems completely futile.

    Why do we bounce the good ones and end up with arses?!!!

    xx
     
  5. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    aw girls - sorry your guys are buttheads. :( Many of them are . Some innocently, others intentionally.

    Polly - you may be finding your intolerance is a reslt of your growing confidence. You are no longer willing to be treated lke a lfoormat, as so many heavy people are. If thats the case, its a good thing. If you are edgy, beucase of your own unhappiness - then that needs looking at too.

    You sound perfectly normal honey, and you deserve to be happy and treated with respect and support by those that love you.

    Have a Stern tallk with your fella - let him no in no uncertain terms his "support" or lack of, just is not acceptable and why. Hopefully, if he cares - he will listen to you. If not - well...... ;)

    Hang in there hon - I hope it gets better for you . I know what it is like to be envious of others partners - was the sotry of my life in my first marraige. Everything was a dissappointment. Usually because I compared my life/partner with my friends.

    But - what we see in others, or hear about with others is often only half the story. One never knows what really goes on - so the grass may not always be greener.

    Sometimes i think we would just be happiest without lawns. :D

    XXXXX Hang in there honey. We are all here for you, if he isn't! :)
     
  6. clarins

    clarins Full Member

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    hi Polly, cheer up, sometimes i feel like you, in the husband department and even with friends, my OH has gone out every day and evening since i started ll , wed, thurs, fri and he was going to go out tomorrow, but he has cancelled, life is hard and can be difficult, but i totallu understand you, really i do, i have not put everything down, i don't like long posts.
     
  7. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    Thanks guys. Sometimes it's hard to differenciate between whats going on in my head and what's real. But I know it's not all in my head!

    I really do appreciate your support and value your advice :eek:

    It'll all come out in the wash.....


    xx
     
  8. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    as long as it comes out, and leaves you happy. that's the main thing. :)
     
  9. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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  10. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    hi polly. Sorry you're getting so little support from your man. Yes I'm incredibly lucky to have one of the good ones but I've had my fair share of ****s don't you worry!

    Remember you're doing this for yourself and try to stay positive. He'll be the one eating his words when you walk in a room looking and more importantly, feeling super sexy!!

    He'll get used to your diet in time and then it won't be an issue at all. I'm just rachel who doesn't eat. My OH asks people who invite us to dinner 'is it alright if rachel brings her glass of goo with her?' and if it's not, then we wouldn't go (but nobody has said no thankfully) It's a bit of a joke now and I laugh along as I'm at a stage where my confidence is at an all time high and I can deal with it just fine. The only thing my OH complainsabout is the smell of my chicken crisps which he thinks smell awful. But he only has the odd moan when the smell's still there 2 hours later!

    You need to find your support network and you will in all sorts of places. I have two great friends from my LL group. There'll be someone you can rely on trust me.

    And you've always got us lot to talk to!!
     
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