Tough love or ssy what ppl want to hear

[willfitskinnyjeans]

Dieting is hard. Emotionally aswell.

So I was thinking what approach do you prefer honest and so you can make your choices or what you want to hear but then get frustrated when losses don't happen.

I was recently asked by a friend if it matters that chips are fried if there they only fried thing she has. Or myself used to use all the excuses, I wish I'd of had a blunt approach years ago.

But now I have realized myself it's got me thinking do ppl rather here things that make them think it's ok or do ppl prefer to know the reality.

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

My attitude and it might be wrong one but I've spent far far to long having fun with drink n food n it's got me fat. There's no if's no buts. If I want to loose weight I change what I put Inside me.
I have never yo yo dieted I just put on weight n believed my own excuses but maybe my attitude is to harsh. :-/ ppl like to be told it's ok, it doesn't matter.
Those that like this do they go on to loose good amounts n keep it off or do they not?
It doesn't work for me

 

[Princess_Stevie]

Definitely tough love! I am the one who made myself fat in the first place, and I am the only one who can do anything to change that.

People telling me what I want to hear isn't going to help - it's people that tell me what I need to hear that helps.

 

[kirsty_baird_26]

Defiantly tough love much prefer people to be honest and upfront with me as it spurs me on to try harder

 

[tenaciousnat]

I think too many people say what they think someone wants to hear rather than the truth. The truth can sometimes suck, especially when it means we have to admit our own failings or shortcomings. I would much rather hear the truth, that's not saying I'll like it though.
People pussy footing around me and my eating habits have made me think that its ok when actually it's far from ok. xxx

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

Only person who looses or doesn't loose is yourself. You don't loose bonus pounds because you were told it's ok don't worry.
Tough love and honesty with yourself.
If you fall down hands up and accept it and don't do it again it's harder to do this and easier to have but I can have I deserve it doesn't matter if I don't count this attitude guilt free dieting

 

[SlimmingKitchen]

This is my favourite quote....

"Being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard, choose your hard"!

 

[lardylady]

I'm not sure I understand the question as such, but pussyfooting around people will get them nowhere. There is a woman at the class I go to, who has lost 5lb- since September! That person needs a good kick up the bum (metaphorically speaking.)
A woman where I work could see that SW was working for me, so she decided to join. Six months later, she kept moaning that the diet wasn't working for her because she hadn't even reached her half stone award. I was quite blunt with her and said that she couldn't have been sticking to plan. She'd bring bagels for lunch (and they're 11+ syns), with crisps and a chocolate biscuit etc She'd also tell us how she was drinking at least 3 glasses of wine in the evening.
I didn't want her rubbishing the SW plan, when she wasn't actually sticking to it!

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

This is my favourite quote....

"Being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard, choose your hard"!

Love it

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

But someone somewhere will say it's ok well done on ur loss. But 5lb in 8 months what a waste of money

 

[pudnpie]

I think you are right but in the past I find it too easy to get annoyed and wound up by people who are not in my mindset - and I don't just mean in terms of weight loss but other things as well and I find myself worrying too much about their problems as well as my own. I have been on and off of these boards for a couple of years because sometimes I feel like reading them isn't doing me good. When I read a post saying I have just had a massive binge and I have put on, I don't TBH understand the point of the post except for everyone to go ahh, don't worry hun which would mean nothing to me so I wouldn't bother posting. But then I also think I am not a particularly empathic person so I tend to avoid those kind of posts and I don' particularly like confrontation either so would tend to just let it all go while seething underneath. I think it is the same reason why I don't really like classes - 50% of it just seems to be people moaning but not really feeling that I can saying anything for fear of offence/getting my face smacked lol

Trouble is, if say someone says I have had a real binge from a practical point of view there isn't much else you can say apart from start again - the only other response is give up. But I think it is wrong to say forget about it. If we forget about things then we do not learn. I think a bit of regret is healthy as long as it doesn't turn in to self loathing and feeling that you cannot do anything at all.

I have had times when I have been in full on 100% weight losing mode - no excuses, no buts so listening to other people make their excuses got on my nerves and I have felt like screaming at them lol. But then I have also lost the momentum, made mistakes (plenty of them which I am trying to fix now) and I know now I am not so good at this weight loss lark as I thought I was 18 months ago.

 

[Potato]

It's so hard to know... some people post on here and they sound in complete desperation; they're usually the people who find direct responses "rude"; I think they're in a sensitive state of mind and need help up.

For me - direct is the way to go! So many times I heard "ohh you don't need to change, you're lovely. " (usually followed by - you have such a nice face and or hair lol) I held on to that for too long, I wish someone would have said buck up your act! You're not living - you're hiding!

I like your responses to people on here, WillFitSkinnyJeans - they're the kind of responses that I would take the most value from if I were *really* looking for help.

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

I think I see that I wish I had these responses few years ago. I wish someone had given me a stern talking to

 

[henri156]

Tough love definitely! I'm only 23 but have been over weight a while. When I said I felt gross/ felt down about it/ felt unhealthy all my friends and my boyfriend would tell me how beautiful I was and how I didn't need to change. One day my dad said love I'm not being nasty but you have put on weight! I cried and of course was so upset and thought he was out of order but when I calmed down I realised he had a point. He has actually done me a favour and I'm glad I am tacking it while I'm young

 

[The Caretaker]

A bit of each really, as long as people care, that's good for me.

 

[Billie1987]

Tough love for me! Kidding to my self has only got me to the size that I am x

 

[chocahorrific]

Tough love, without question!

My happiest weight was at about 10st, the last time I saw that weight was when I was 20 (I'm 26 in a few months). After a few long-term relationship disasters which led me to comfort eating and being very anti-social, I slowly but surely piled on almost 3st. Now, I'm lucky that I'm like my mum, I put a little bit on everywhere, so my tummy doesn't look huge as my hips and bum are proportioned the same - so I never had much of a problem dressing myself or getting male attention (therefore simply ignored the weight gain).

When I started seeing my OH I was 12st11lb, and he loved every inch of me. However, in June he proposed, and while my head wistfully dreamt up all the possibilities for our wedding, my mother stuck a pin in it 2 months ago when she said that the wedding dresses I was looking at wouldn't look nice as a size 16. I felt horrified, and was really annoyed, but it kicked me into gear. I lost 3lb at home, and then started SW with my mum. Three weeks later and I'm down to 12st1lb - absolutely BESIDE MYSELF with excitement that I might be back into the 11st bracket next Tuesday.

I feel really driven by the fact that I get weighed in public, and while they don't disclose weight gain amounts, it's always in the back of my head that my leader will "name and shame" if I don't do well. It keeps me in line, much more than sitting at home making excuses and thinking "I'm not fat yet."

 

[MissNix]

A bit of both for me - I'm already my worst critic so don't need too much of it from other people!

 

[willfitskinnyjeans]

Tough love, without question!

My happiest weight was at about 10st, the last time I saw that weight was when I was 20 (I'm 26 in a few months). After a few long-term relationship disasters which led me to comfort eating and being very anti-social, I slowly but surely piled on almost 3st. Now, I'm lucky that I'm like my mum, I put a little bit on everywhere, so my tummy doesn't look huge as my hips and bum are proportioned the same - so I never had much of a problem dressing myself or getting male attention (therefore simply ignored the weight gain).

When I started seeing my OH I was 12st11lb, and he loved every inch of me. However, in June he proposed, and while my head wistfully dreamt up all the possibilities for our wedding, my mother stuck a pin in it 2 months ago when she said that the wedding dresses I was looking at wouldn't look nice as a size 16. I felt horrified, and was really annoyed, but it kicked me into gear. I lost 3lb at home, and then started SW with my mum. Three weeks later and I'm down to 12st1lb - absolutely BESIDE MYSELF with excitement that I might be back into the 11st bracket next Tuesday.

I feel really driven by the fact that I get weighed in public, and while they don't disclose weight gain amounts, it's always in the back of my head that my leader will "name and shame" if I don't do well. It keeps me in line, much more than sitting at home making excuses and thinking "I'm not fat yet."

That's really brave of your mum, that to me is very tough love, because by no means 12st something is big your mum was being honest for you. And I don't know your mum but most ppl would find it hard to say that. You could of gone crazy and taken it so badly.

But good for you for listening as that's equally as hard. Ull do it and ull have so many more dress choices to choose. Make sure you try on one that ud think no way I can't wear that cos it might just be the perfect one