Tripping the light fantastic!

[Joydriven]

So glad to have found this place! Excited to be on my journey back to myself, hidden inside, unveiling. Wanting to remember and become once again childlike in fulfilling my body's need for energy.

Realizing how much I actually don't enjoy eating. Ironic, truly, but memories of being a child and only eating because I was hungry, and mildly irritated at that, have been flooding back. Days of attack have broken the barrier of habitually hunting out and eating only those things that taste not just good, but wonderful! I've been eating to feed my need for Joy!

Now, I'm relearning a whole new relationship with food. And the full frontal issue of finding other ways, experiences, to have those needed moments of joy.

So, this is definitely my journey to trip the light fantastic.

There. Got that down. So as to be able and come back and remember this is about so much more than food.

details:
Attack-plan on 10 days. Difficult to loose because of menopausal weight gain, hypothyroidism, so going for 10 as long as loss doesn't stall.

Bfast
nonfat yogurt 1cup with 0 cal. water flavor packet.
Several slices deli chicken

Lunch
Slices deli chicken
Shrimp, tartar sauce:yogurt,Dijon,onion,pickle,lemon juice,s+p

Dinner
Yogurt (above)
Soy smoothie: tofu,nonfat milk,drink powder(above)
Slices deli chicken

Snacks
Sf jello
Egg custard cup

 

[Maintainer]

Great motivational paragraphs at the outset. Something to read over and again on your journey...

However: 10 days attack? That's far too long and only recommended for heavily obese people, which you are certainly not!

Drink powder? deli chicken (are you sure it's "pure unadulterated chicken"?) egg custard cup? water flavour packet?

No oatbran?

Hmm... have you checked out our FAQ section and read the book?

 

[Joydriven]

Thanks for the reply, Maintainer, I slipped on day 4 so started over, hence it adds up to 10. Probably not the right thing, bit i had yet to find you all! It did lead me to some realizations about me and food and I thought I already knew everything about our relationship. Ha! Silly me!

I did oat bran and water. I'll include it in the future. Thanks for the reminder! The custard cup is in the menu plans, Dukan recipe. The chicken is the right fat content, no extra additives I don't think. Is that what you mean? Salt, maybe that's too high?

Now, about the water flavor. I figured it's the same as sugar free fat free jellyo without the gelatin. However, during last night's foray through the market searching and gathering all sorts of thingsnto fix up my food, I'm rethinking. Nonfat, no sugar fake whipped cream which I haven't liked since the 60's. No fat no sugar pudding that I've never liked. Junket tablets. What do I plan for those? Some fake whipped cream, add some fake pudding, a little fake water powder and freeze in the ice cream machine I ordered? Or spend that time seeking joy through other places than those small, teeny bumps located on my tongue.

Once again I find myself choosing to eat to find my joy. I need to re-think exactly that. That thinking pattern is what leads my food choices. And I'm choosing differently.

There my first Challenge! I need a little icon here.

I will pause and choose to eat, make my selections for power first and foremost instead of pleasure.

 

[Maintainer]

I like your thought processes but I hope we can all ultimately find a way for food to be a pleasure AND keep our weight in check. You'll find lots of dukan friendly dessert recipes to keep your sweet tooth contented, although I personally keep these for weekend treats only to try to dull mine somewhat.

I'd also advise you cook your own chicken. It's very likely that deli chicken, like any bought rotisserie chicken, is basted in all sorts of lovely things which aren't for us. By cooking our own food, it's easier to keep a check on unwanted sugars and fats, while these foods are of course great in an emergency...

I personally would not consider oatbran + water a pleasure... however you can transform your oatbran into all sorts of delicious confections (galette, pancakes, bread, muffins)...

If you don't usually cook much, then now's the time to find your way back to the stove... Dukan has definitely done that for me and I think it'll help long term to keep the weight off.

Good luck and keep posting! You'll find lots of info in our FAQ post.

 

[Joydriven]

I'll definitely not be demonizing food! Taking things off list, especially when emotions are involved only serves to end up hurting me. I'll end up balanced,hopefully, in the middle. Right now i'm off the deep.

Because that's what I've been doing. Removing foods from my eating list because of their lack of flavor. Only that. So, striving to regain balance. And for me, I'll go over to the other side a bit for awhile to try it on, feel what it's like and, hopefully learn some good things to take forward back to center.

Interesting yesterday morning, looking down at my scrambled eggs (simply 2eggs broken up with fork in nonstick pan and sliced turkey). Left out the nonfat philly and onions,spices for lack of time. Remembered my challenge and all of a sudden those eggs looked different. I saw them with the purpose of not feeding my taste buds or for a nice little thing to eat while reading, but for what they would provide for my body.

Totally different perspective which led me to ponder eating based on this as a priority instead of flavor. So, I could keep a little running tally in my head. Enough color for vitamin content? What's my protein to? Had much fiber? Important cruciferous? Just would be a whole new relationship with food. Turning my old ways topsy turvy on their head. I'm sure there are ones who think like this all the time, just not me. I've been designing all, all! my needs on taste and taste alone. A true taste aficionado snob i've been so, trying on something new here. Will not be keeping track by way of grams, just kinda lousy goosy in my mind. Least that's todays goal.

Yesterday's goal- met at bfast, forgot at dinner. First day of pv and lost myself in my artichoke and cold shrimp cocktail. Nonfat cheese slices shoved into mouth when home due to severe hunger for not bringing something to eat in to studio. Need a refrig there for this reason.

Details: Did not eat enough. Only had the 2 meals. Little light on water, quota met with coffee though although I wonder if that really counts, and bran as nightcap cereal. With gojis, cinnamon,nonfat milk powder, vanilla. Mmmm and great for my body. There a little balance's already creeping in!

And no artificial flavorings! Or jello. Still stevia. Hoping that remains safe from a health standpoint.

Remember, main goal today is to see food as power energy for my body first and foremost. Water also.

 

[Joydriven]

Well, just accidentedly visited ITT institute and wiped out my entire post, so quick and dirty here.

New attitude helpful in many ways. More respect for food, less guilt over eating animals, more respectful, honoring relationship with food.

Third pv day out of five. May change cycle.
Gained a pound first day. Lost half pound 2nd pv day. All good, remembering over long haul the upticks are actually part of the downward slide.

No breakfast, coffee vanished appetite. Need a solution for this habit.
Salad for lunch with turkey slices
Dinner-egg, tofu scramble, gallette. No veggies. Problem?
Snack-egg custard cup
Water, great

Remembered about new attitude for food each meal!

 

[Joydriven]

The best thing about the past days is my commitment. Been tempted to snack, binge and have talked myself out of it. Did take a bite of hot dog and 1/10of a potato chip. O, so salty and not tasty at all! Hooray! Also grabbed a sausage bit along with melty,gooey cheese off a pizza. Pretty good but definitely not worth walking around with my thighs chaffing. So, all in all, a good few days. Each time I'm choosing consciously what I want my future self to be . She's right here, just hidden inside.

All those times, and when I've wanted to break or stop have been when I was hungry. Needed to shop. Picked up some steaks and ground sirloin and a dozen eggs. That's the answer to skipping breakfast. An egg first thing.

Discovered a bit more about taste of food vs need. Still learning to look at food as sustenance instead of entertainment but is it ever hard to shove stuff in that isn't very tasty. My morning tofu scramble can be that way. I want to eat it all so I won't have to eat as soon. Again, it reminds me of being a child and annoyed with hunger pangs. I'm on a voyage to learn a new way of eating and know balance of flavor and nutrition is the answer. Just don't yet know how or what that looks like.

It is an interesting shift to no longer look forward to meals but to want to eat quickly and be done with it. Actually, is much more of a balanced attitude now than before this journey began.

Down to 160 and am pleased and annoyed simultaneously. I get thrilled to be one pound lighter yet discouraged to still be at such a high number. Then I shut that talk off. And focus. Right here. Right now. I'm doing phenomenal. There. Focus on that.

Solved crazy not eating until after noon with my dozen boiled eggs. Branched away from roasted chicken. Maintained even with gain after first 5 pv days to end up with loss of 3 1/2 pounds so far since attack. Will do another 5/5 cycle and finally start walking.

Now have an additional pair of pants to fit into. Was down to my only two pairs of highly stretchy cotton Lycra blend having thrown out all my large pants the previous weight lost.

 

[Joydriven]

End of week 3 and down 8.4lbs. Looking at the 150's longingly. That's a major marker, high weight until a few months ago. Will be most comfortable when I break into the 140's. Until then, ignoring the big picture and focusing on the little details. Pound by pound. .4lb by .4lb.

Stayed with the 5/5 set easily. Difficult to see at the early weight gain and stall but just imagined, ala Dukan, the thinner me is ther, just veggie water covering up the scale's true number. That's what did me in last Dukan go and so this time was determined to not let me get discouraged and throw in the towel.

Will stay with it another round and add in walking.

This weeks goals:
Walk 4 days
Improve water consumption*==*
Do Dukan exercises 3 days**
Lunges while brushing teeth ****
Eat breakfast every day **=*
Before every meal, look at & appreciate it's energy and health ***

 

[Joydriven]

Today's the end of 2weeks cruise. Am on the last day of 5/5 pv and still up a pound from end of pp. Will be interesting to see on Friday, after first pp or, maybe, Saturday how much was lost this cycle. Have not met goal of walking yet and with four days left to accomplish it, will do!

Increased activity with lunges, jumping jacks and additional stair climbing and can feel it in slightly sore muscles and ease of lifting heavy things. Happy!

Only difficult time of day is right after dinner. Get a hankering for something sweet and in the past pull out yogurt with ns flavoring. Or remember the porridge and put it on to absorb for cooking later.

Most interestingly is my new found ability to wait it out. It's actually like I kinda sit back and observe the part of me hankering for, wishing for, frustrated for, something sweet. And just watch. Saying, oh, yes, here, you again. Ok, this will pass. I just had dinner, and you come to visit again. Well, I'm just going to wait awhile, thank you very much. This is what I'm choosing for now.

And, lo and behold, it's gone. Till the next evening. But, last night, I forewent the yogurt, started the bran porridge and forgot all about it. Couple more improving nights and I'll start making the muffins.

I'm curious if there's any difference in time of eating bran. Dukan recommends those am gallettes, so, hmmm?

Keep going. Keep going.

 

[Joydriven]

Testing my resolve!
Start of new 5/5 cycle. At end of first cycle since attack, am up 1lb. Hoping loss resumes with the next few pp days. Three more days of sts and will officially be in a plateau. But, here. Now. Doing great. Old pants feel looser. Well, not so tight!

Remained steady through rough go late afternoon and night by getting in the car to go... well...no destination in mind. But, out of house and away from eating. And resisted urge to stop and fall into old habits at the grocery store. So, very much success! Even if I hit a plateau!

Remember! Trying above all else to retrain my mind's way and habits toward eating and dealing with life's constant, non- ending disappointments. That is what will carry me forward on this life journey, not a number on a scale.

 

[Joydriven]

I really see this weight loss as secondary. Yet, at the same time it is a lovely symbol of my success and growth

This time, and probably, maybe, because it's not my first, second, third, keep going, time of it, this time I'm focusing on the moments, reasons, emotions, head thoughts, right Before Eating. And right after. But not for more than a few seconds. Screw up, well, get over it. It's not the last time.

So, stabilization, to me, when I get there will be a more stable mind. Not scale number. The number will represent how stable I am emotionally. I'll have a built in speedometer to let me know when I'm veering off track. Not in my eating habits, but in my life habits. Because when I become healthy, stable, emotionally strong, my eating will be also. There's nothing balanced in My Eating becoming a problem, a self destruction. Why would I be doing that to myself? Why?

There's my answer to reducing the scale number. How do i get the number lower has, up to now, been the question. But like all of life's great lessons, it's really a koan. The answer to the question is not held in the question because it's the wrong question.

Down a .4 lb today. Finally in the 150's. At my most heaviest, now, normally, weight. When I used to always get in gear and bring the number down. So, it's a relief, kind of. I'm becoming healthier. And more aware now than ever before at that number. So I'm at a great spot.

 

[Joydriven]

Ok, not such a great week, number wise. Back up to 161.2 with a +.8 from last week. So, at end of week 4, total loss of only -7.8 lb. Hoping the gain from yesterday's low of 159.8 is some weird blip and next week the loss will show up, combined with additional loss. So, still keeping my goal of 155 for next week.

But! Improvement, modification, return to basics is needed!
1. Where's my walking? And why am I avoiding this? Awareness needed here.
2. Better on water this week. Still not drinking a lot. Back to Dukan basics here
3. No more skipping meals. Better with bfast this week but still too long between meals
4. Cut out all tolerated. Goodbye Laughing Cow! Cocoa, any dairy above what %? Need info here.

Consider:
A. Watch my dairy limit? Thought it was unlimited. Maybe wait till next week before putting on limits.
B. Switch from 5/5 to 1/1. There's such wide swings in the 5/5 yet I like this rhythm. It's easiest for my mindset to decide no veggies period. Then switch. Repeat.
Ok. So there's the plan.

What's great this week is this setback, and it is over 10 days now, with one day under, of being stuck at 161. This set back has not set me back. I'm still moving forward and will readjust. I'm not discouraged and throwing in the towel. Would have done that a few months ago. Now know there are solutions and support to reach my goal.

 

[Joydriven]

So,
eliminated the tolerated
increased water
walked 2 of 4
ate more and more often even when not hungry

One, or more, must have been effective cause numbers dropped from blipped 161.2 to 157.8 today.

So much a balance between mind and body. This process of dukanizing to drop added body fat while paying attention to my run away, unconscious mind.

Really wanting to become balanced. Eat intuitively, consciously. Know now, above all else, this means trusting me. Me. Not some inner, rumbling, rambling off thought, thinking, non thinking part of me.

So, this so important stage is just that. Learning to trust myself. With each correct choice, each time of diverting that inner voice, awarenessing of it. Each time of discerning the True Me within thoughts, I come closer to Me. And trust to be that.

That trust must be firm. Kowing my best interests are being watched for, first and foremost.

Without that trust, how would I know the intuitive voice from the not? So, all these little moments are like learning to understand a foreign language. I need to listen and hear the true me voice within.

So funny. In the first few weeks, looking back, the screaming voice, saying I Want....oh, what did I want? Frozen yogurt, calimari, a Chardonnay. That voice was just like a toddler! Loud, obnoxious, never shutting up with reason. Tyrannical. Different methods were needed. Hey! Driving around in the car was such a perfect solution, in hind sight!!! Should have thought of and tried a binky! Might have worked. Seriously.

Now the voice is more mature. Beyond a teenager, but not by much. It's using a little more rationality. Come on, just this one time! You can start over tomorrow. It's been a long time! A month since you've had....what you think you can't have just one? What? No will power? Are you really that weak? Do you really want to get thin, for this? Worth it?

No more screaming, I Want That!!! Now!!!

This is much more insidious. More stealthy. More subtle. More conniving. Easier to listen to. Become engaged with. So, my tactics for listening, awareness must change. Stillness. Patience. Resolve. Confidence.

Just like a teenager needs to handle temptation.

Geesh. Hope I get this down before I'm outwitted.

I will I will.

There. There's the answer. My Will. It is my will.

 

[Maintainer]

Great post as usual Joy... The official dairy limit in cruise is 1L (including no more than 1/4L skimmed milk). However, in reality, many find that's far too much for regular weight loss and reduce until they find their level.

Where I am slightly intrigued, Joy, is that you are definitely having some insightful discussions with yourself and your diary - and they're very helpful to me - I wonder why your food menus are so boring (if you'll excuse me). Isn't rediscovering healthy tasty food part of your journey and, if so, why a couple of days ago did you have "turkey slices" for three (I think) meals of the same day? (What are turkey slices again? Bought in from a deli? Or do you cook a turkey and slice up the breast yourself?)

You asked about timings for oatbran and relevance. Many choose to have it at breakfast time (as he suggests) as it is very filling (in galette or muffin form) and keeps us full for hours. I do have it in the evening on Fridays, when it's convenient to eat muffins while travelling and not only do I miss them at breakfast time (and get hungry earlier for lunch), but I often feel bloated at bedtime... Some split the bran over two meals but, in my day, that wasn't advised. I don't know what he says now about that. The idea was to have a certain quantity in one go to get the full benefits.

I'm enjoying your journey Joy...

 

[Joydriven]

I've yet to quantify my dairy, still going along with Dukan's book recommendation of unlimited. Will definitely revisit if weight stalls. So, thank you, Maintainer, as always, you are a wealth of information! To answer your question about variety and taste, too much focus is what led me here. So, for now, I'm very happy with rediscovering food's other purposes. There are people for whom food, and it's flavors, are not so important. Just like art/visual or music/auditory. I delved into cooking and flavors, the whole 9 yards for a family, for decades. Made everything possible except cheese and my own freshly milled flour.

Fortunately, I no longer need to cook for a family. And I have absolutely no desire to. So, fast, quick, Dukan approved is my preference. I've since found other places to pursue my passions than tasteful combinations and, the absolute less time involved in shopping, prep, cooking, cleaning, the better. I have in the past preferred not to eat rather than eat something that is not over-the-moon in flavor. Many times wish there was a pill to swallow to get rid of hunger than eat something that's just mediocre.

And, that's unrealistic. So, this method of choosing foods to satisfy hunger and not taste is perfect for now. I'm sure there are Dukan recipes that are extremely delicious. I've yet to find them and because it is not important to me, nor necessary, I'm not spending precious time to do so. Occasionally, I'll think about adapting delights to Dukan but know the subs will not taste the same. And, the desire for tasty delights is no longer important enough for the time involvement.

I'd rather be silk painting, formulating new fragrances, throwing pots, metalsmithing, yoga classes, etc etc. The quicker I can grab something to eat, the better!

I know I was using food, it's creation into beautiful, one of a kind meals as a source of pleasure. Which is fine and if the passion returns to cook, I will do so within Dukan guidelines. In fact, conso will probably be perfect. Cooking once a week seems doable, maybe! I have to say after so many decades, I'm so enjoying not being in the kitchen! Nor shopping!