Trying to get my mojo back

[DollyBeth]

On Sole Source I have gone from super focused to starting to crumble, back to super focused and determined not to crack until Christmas, to having the most major wagon-tumbling-off days of the diet so far. Before when I wavered I ate protein, green veg and the odd crumpet. Now I have gone full out on buttered toast, crisps and cream cakes!!! WTF! What has happened?! Two weeks ago I decided that there was no point in cheating as it wiped out everything you had done that week by knocking you out of ketosis. My consultant congratulated me on working this out because, in her words, some women on this diet never do, and they waste money in getting to target longer, or not at all.

I don't know what happened, but I feel pretty cross with myself, and slightly baffled, like the binging came out of nowhere and took me by surpise. Of course it didn't, I just had a series of spectacular willpower failures. I have started and given up on so many diets, I was sure that I wouldn't fail at this one, and I don't want to. It has been a day and a half since the last food feast, and I am feeling wretchedly hungry and thirsty, and finding it hard as ever to get back into SS. On the plus side, I do feel some of the determination coming back, but I also feel worried because I have some events coming up over the next few weeks. Before I was like, I will stick to sparkling water and no food, but now my attitude is like ah well, see how I feel on the night. It worries me that this diet is teaching me nothing about controlling binging or understanding why I resort to it.

I'm hoping to hit the four stone weight loss this week or next, and hoping that will help me put things into perspective about how far I have come. My goal was seven stone by Xmas, and I really want to get back on track for that. I guess we all struggle with staying on SS even if we are good and DO stick to it. I know that there are people who came off it and then got right back on it after days or even months, so I know that one bad day doesn't signal the end of the line.

No one said this was going to be easy!!

 

[frizzyjen]

Having just read your post I really feel for you. I completely get where you're coming from, having done the same type of thing on pretty much every diet I've attempted and am only in wk 3 now (though wk 2 seemed like a bit of a disaster!).


You've already lost a lot and think it's natural that you will find it hard to always be 100% motivated - you're only human and naturally we eat! Is maybe trying a higher cal step for a week or 2 an option, just to give you a bit of a break and more flexibility than having to be completely rigid on just shakes?

 

[Tbag]

Hey Dollybeth - your fellow team mate here!

I think frizzyjen might be right - why don't you give 810 step a go? That's what I'm on and all I can tell you is I don't feel the need to cheat (most of the time!!) because I know I have a meal at some point during the day to look forward to? Either lunch or dinner is always a nice piece of meat or fish with either veg or small salad? Then just as you recommended, I have a choc tetra in the freezer for after dinner so I feel like I'm getting desert too. And then some days I throw in the odd SS day as I just don't feel hungry enough to eat a whole meal. The allowances on 810 are HUGE for protein!

Don't give up, 4 stone is AMAZING!!!!!!! You are AMAZING!!! Just being able to admit everything you have shows a step forwards. Remember it's taken us all years being stuck in these bad habits we have, we can't expect to break them overnight, we're only human.

Have you read Angel Up Norths diary? I find her story so inspiring, really spurs me on.

Chin up chic, we can all do this, we just need to take it one step at a time.

 

[DollyBeth]

Frizzyjen - thanks for your lovely reply. I would rather not be around any food temptation, but I will be realistic and see what happens. It's day 3 of getting back into SS and so far so good. You have made a really good start! Forget week 2, I think everyone has a bit of a crisis then lol!

Tbag - thank you for the enthusiastic supporting! I quietly withdrew from Team Spirit as it was getting a bit crowded and no one was seeing/responding to my posts. I think the teams are great though for support so I will definitely think about joining one later. Maybe a smaller one I really want everyone to do well though - sooooo much!! I've read quite a bit of Angel Up North's diary, including the amazing recent wedding pics. You're right - definitely very inspiring!!

 

[frizzyjen]

Glad today is going better for you! Keep going you WILL get there!

Have you tried the Bars? I'm on my first week with them as an alternative to shakes and must admit have really appreciated having something solid to chomp on at lunch time! Would recommend the choc-mint flavour ones! Much better than the Lipotrim cookies that made me gag when I tried that diet a while ago!!!

 

[DollyBeth]

I have tried the bars but ironically my consultant said I should try and avoid them for the first 12 weeks - if only she knew the half of what I was eating instead!! I ate some pasta last night but I felt so bloated it wasn't worth it. Back on SS today, maybe I should try JUDDing? But anyway, I'm still losing weight and I know I just need a kick up the arse and to get on with things. I am going to set myself a goal to not at ALL in October and see if I can make it.

 

[frizzyjen]

I have tried the bars but ironically my consultant said I should try and avoid them for the first 12 weeks - if only she knew the half of what I was eating instead!! .

LOL - that made me chuckle! My CDC was fine about me having them, given the book says they're fine after the first 2 weeks... though I did also tell her about my minor trip of the wagon in JUST WK 2!!! Wine and some indian takeaway were on the confession list so wonder if she just thought maybe that the bars were the lesser of 2 evils!

I think I have come to the conclusion that I have 8 months to lose the weight therefore dont need to feel like this diet is punishment (though I do want to try to stick to it as much as possible)... on some days I have more kept with the 'spirit' of the diet rather than to the letter of it.. i.e. having slightly more protein that the meal should be but still steering away from anything high fat/carby... think as long as the weight is on the way down then it's not a complete loss!

With the bars though I am wondering if they are making me hungrier.. thought it would be great to have a solid food alternative but the 3 days I've had them I've found myself craving more food/proper meals. Going to see how this week goes - once I breach the first stone/stone and a half I think I'm upping to step 2 - really want to make the indian daal and the prawn stir fry with rice noodles that are in the book!!!

 

[DollyBeth]

I think everyone has got their ways of coping with it. Some people on SS have one meal a week or one a fortnight, and some just take off nights when they have a special celebration meal. Some do a higher step just so that they can have some food coming their way each day, and some people have a bit extra with that meal. My sister gave up on the bars as she found they made her want to eat chocolate, but she still sticks with having a small meal each night. You're right, I don't want it all to feel overwhelming and hopeless, but I also don't want to get into bad habits of having no food, and then bad food. I had hoped this diet would make me healthy once and for all! I will see if I can stick to my October challenge! Jen good luck for your diet, but I think you will lose 3 stone way before April! You could do it by the end of this year!

 

[frizzyjen]

Jen good luck for your diet, but I think you will lose 3 stone way before April! You could do it by the end of this year!

Thanks DollyBeth - hopefully I will lose 3+ stone by then... April is the latest I need to order my wedding dress then need to concentrate on maintaining it until the big day in November 2013!

 

[DollyBeth]

Oh wow! Congrats! You have ages!!! I bet you will be 9 stone by April at least!! Had another bad day today, but I'm not going to turn it into a whole bad weekend. Going to start my challenge tomorrow and hopefully have lost 5 stone by the end of October! Woo hoooooooo!