Stackhead
Slow and steady...
Hello 
Ok, so this thread will be a little on the rambly side but bear with me, I have a point (I think).
I went out clubbing (I hate that word, but it's the only thing that describes what I did) on Tuesday with a group of friends. On a night out I generally wear shorts and black tights with either a dress or long top, i'm not sure if that has any bearing on the events that followed or if it would've been the same if I was wearing a pair of full length jeans.
Anyway, we were dancing in a group and I was oblivious to pretty much everyone around me, I was just having fun with my friends but then one of the guys I was with (Will) got really tense, like angry tense, he leaned over and whispered something to me and all I heard was 'those guys behind us'... I didn't think much of it, but all of a sudden Will kinda just drags me out of the room we were in, into another room (everyone else follows along).
The night continues but when I go outside with another friend (Reese) without everyone else, Reese tells me that the guys behind me (that Will was saying something about) were saying particularly horrible things about me and that Will was on the verge of saying (or more likely doing) something to shut them up.
Now i've never been one to let stuff like that affect me, and in all honesty it didn't (and doesn't) bother me that some idiotic chavs behind me were (more than likely - as Reese wouldn't tell me what they said) calling me all kinds of fat, because after all I am. I'd more insulted if they called me skinny because it'd be a blatant lie.
However, and here is my question/problem/issue since Tuesday i've been off plan and it hasn't bothered me, i'm not worried that i've been off plan/not tracking/fallen off the wagon/whatever you want to call it.
I have narrowed this down to two possible reasons:
1) It's defiance. Following Tuesday i'm basically saying "Yeah, i'm fat. AND?!" Feeling particularly comfortable in my own skin so not feeling the need to diet (after all, someone once said that you need to hate yourself most of the time to stick to a diet - and for me that's true, i've got to hate the way I look enough to deny myself food.)
2) The comments affected me negatively and i'm comfort eating, but i'm not feeling like I usually do when I comfort eat, i'm usually feeling quite low about myself when the need to comfort eat arises.
Whatcha think? Do you think it's possible to be entirely comfortable with who (and what) you are but still have the drive and motivation to lose weight? Or do you reckon that i'm comfort eating in disguise? Answers on a postcard...
Ok, so this thread will be a little on the rambly side but bear with me, I have a point (I think).
I went out clubbing (I hate that word, but it's the only thing that describes what I did) on Tuesday with a group of friends. On a night out I generally wear shorts and black tights with either a dress or long top, i'm not sure if that has any bearing on the events that followed or if it would've been the same if I was wearing a pair of full length jeans.
Anyway, we were dancing in a group and I was oblivious to pretty much everyone around me, I was just having fun with my friends but then one of the guys I was with (Will) got really tense, like angry tense, he leaned over and whispered something to me and all I heard was 'those guys behind us'... I didn't think much of it, but all of a sudden Will kinda just drags me out of the room we were in, into another room (everyone else follows along).
The night continues but when I go outside with another friend (Reese) without everyone else, Reese tells me that the guys behind me (that Will was saying something about) were saying particularly horrible things about me and that Will was on the verge of saying (or more likely doing) something to shut them up.
Now i've never been one to let stuff like that affect me, and in all honesty it didn't (and doesn't) bother me that some idiotic chavs behind me were (more than likely - as Reese wouldn't tell me what they said) calling me all kinds of fat, because after all I am. I'd more insulted if they called me skinny because it'd be a blatant lie.
However, and here is my question/problem/issue since Tuesday i've been off plan and it hasn't bothered me, i'm not worried that i've been off plan/not tracking/fallen off the wagon/whatever you want to call it.
I have narrowed this down to two possible reasons:
1) It's defiance. Following Tuesday i'm basically saying "Yeah, i'm fat. AND?!" Feeling particularly comfortable in my own skin so not feeling the need to diet (after all, someone once said that you need to hate yourself most of the time to stick to a diet - and for me that's true, i've got to hate the way I look enough to deny myself food.)
2) The comments affected me negatively and i'm comfort eating, but i'm not feeling like I usually do when I comfort eat, i'm usually feeling quite low about myself when the need to comfort eat arises.
Whatcha think? Do you think it's possible to be entirely comfortable with who (and what) you are but still have the drive and motivation to lose weight? Or do you reckon that i'm comfort eating in disguise? Answers on a postcard...
