UNSYMPATHETIC FRIENDS

Discussion in 'Exante' started by Bernice, 29 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. Bernice

    Bernice Silver Member

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    Hi everyone,

    I have been invited round to a friends house on Friday night and usually we would have a takeaway. I told her that I would love to come but I won't be having the takeaway as I am on Exante 100%. I assumed that as an ex-weight watcher herself and frequently having counted her points whilst we were together..... all with my support I might add, she would understand but you know what they say about assuming things......she was really quite abrasive about it. She huffed and puffed and made if quite clear she felt it was unacceptable behaviour on my part and how it spoilt things for everyone else. ''Why couldn't I take a night off??'' I tried to explain how exante works but she was clearly disinterested. I am determined to still go and equally determined to sit & eat my Exante bar whilst they all tuck into their takeaways because I am making a point. Surely it shouldn't be about the food, it should be about the company & the friendship............shouldn't it??? All comments for and against welcomed. xx:cry:
     
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  3. lou822

    lou822 Member

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    i am dreading that, i havent even told my husband yet (he has been away on a training course for the last 2 weeks) as i really dont know how he will react. My best friend also said exactly the same thing about her visit to me on saturday and our routine chinese takeaway, really dont know how to deal with it, was even thinking of pulling a sickie to get out of the visit, how bad is that?!?
    so no advice but just to let you know your not alone in this x
     
  4. Berryred

    Berryred Gold Member

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    :mad: some friend is what springs to mind! shocking and don't know what to say TBH!
     
  5. Shos

    Shos Member

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    Oh poor you! Thats really not very fair at all.

    None of my friends have been so unsupportive, but people keep offering me food - like donuts etc when i at their house or at work and i keep reminding them i am diet. One of my colleagues at work is lovely and keeps asking if its ok to eat next to me, whereas the other one asked if i wanted to go for lunch, i said no and explained about exante and she went a bought a fish and chips takeaway and tucked in... appreciative noises and all!!

    My DH is not any help, he keep eating snack stuff in front of me, buying fattening foods, going on about getting a takeaway and then when i say something about it he just says he never asked me too loose weight so why should be suffer as well?!

    I have no probs cooking my kids tea but its much easier to do this diet when i work all day and he is on nights!!

    I think you should go to this friends house and stay firm, but i would definitely say something about how difficult it is when people dont support you .... i just dont understand why she would be so selfish...... unless she is jealous??

    take care xxx
     
  6. domino

    domino Full Member

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    I'm with you on this Bernice. Firstly well done for how much you've lost so far and what a fair weather friend she appears to be. Seems it's okay when you're supporting her, but it's a one way street.

    It is absolutely about friendship and good company - food should not come into the equation. Many folks on a VLCD avoid social events that include others eating and drinking, so that fact you're happy to go along and join in with everything but the 'eating' should show her that a) you're not allowing this to impinge on your social life and b) you've got incredible willpower -and a true friend should support you - not criticise, or try to sabotage your success.

    Anyway - that's my pennies worth and I'm now off my soap-box :D
     
  7. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    Seems your friend is thinking more of herself than you .
    If you go and feel you are not getting support and she is still digging you out , say OH thanks and there was me thinking you was a good friend ... if she says she is then say ok if you are show me some support .... Lets hope you have a good night.
     
  8. missbiker

    missbiker Silver Member

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    Mmmmm....sadly I know only too well what you are going through :(. Doing a VLCD really let me realise how much of our social life, and friends, revolved around food and alcohol :eek:. Unfortunately, as a couple, we lost some friends through my LL journey, but I feel it really showed who our true friends were :cry:. I think I made others feel uncomfortable when I was 100% abstinent for a variety of reasons, including their own weight issues, my new body/confidence, and how I could enjoy myself without an alcohol crutch. My mantra was "it's their issues, they have to deal with it!" :kissass:

    YOU are doing this for YOU. Keep focussed, and you will not believe how much your life will change, physically and psychologically :D.

    My life has never been so good (apart from meeting my darling hubby), and he's certainly appreciative of the new me ;) :love:!!

    Good luck,
     
  9. Bernice

    Bernice Silver Member

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    Thank you all Ladies I really appreciate the support. I am looking forward to the evening not only to show my resolve but also to show off my new figure and if my friend doesn't like it.............she can :kissass:. I will let you all know how it goes. xx
     
  10. missbiker

    missbiker Silver Member

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    That's the spirit Bernice! This is for YOU, and it's YOUR choice.
     
  11. GothicLolita

    GothicLolita Full Member

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    She’s clearly jealous of your determined frame of mind. You’ll show her. She’s not really a true friend so enjoy your evening.
     
  12. FattyMcBigbum

    FattyMcBigbum Gold Member

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    I couldn't agree more. If there's going to be other people there she's not exactly eating on her own.
     
  13. Lynn_

    Lynn_ On A Mission!

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    You are absolutely in the right Bernice and your friend is absolutely in the wrong. She cannot pressure you to eat something you dont want to eat. Im sure she knows this deep down, and it does sound as if there is some jealousy going on there.

    Keep strong and show them how great you look, that feeling will be much better than eating any takeaway.
     
  14. rose1987

    rose1987 reaching my goal

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    This is for you and no one else , dont let anyone else ruin your progress !
     
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  15. Bernice

    Bernice Silver Member

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    UNSYMPATHETIC FRIENDS UPDATE

    Hi all............just a line or two to let you know how my evening with the ''why can't you give it a miss for the evening'' friend went. Well.............it went very well. They all ordered thier chinese and we all sat to the table when it arrived. I serenely unwrapped my toffee & nut bar and munched on it and drank water while they all tucked into the food & drank wine. No one said a word to me about it and it all felt very comfortable. I don't know if my friend had had a change of heart or if she sensed that I might kick off if she made an issue of it.......either way I don't care it means another day of being 100% is under my belt and one day nearer to being the person I want to be. Be strong everyone we can all do it. xx :)
     
  16. rose1987

    rose1987 reaching my goal

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    Hi im glad it went well for you , maybe she just didnt want you feeling left out !
     
  17. FattyMcBigbum

    FattyMcBigbum Gold Member

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    Nice one Bernice =)
     
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  19. Shos

    Shos Member

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    well done for sticking to your guns hon xxx can i have a smidgeon of your will power please??!! xxx lol xx
     
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