Upset :(

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by clare77, 6 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Thought i'd come on here and have a moan instead of eating...
    Feel like my hard work is for nothing today!
    My dad has never been one to mince his words.. and today he's said some things that have made me feel like crap :(
    Telling me that 'i'm the one who has put myself in this position and if I would of ate sensibly in the past I wouldn't have to be doing this! I know he's only trying to advise me but he goes about things the wrong way! Uhhmm! I felt so good yesterday after my first weigh in but now I feel fatter and more horrible than ever!! and that all this is for nothing! has anyone else felt like this before?
    xxx
     
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  3. princess-of-power

    princess-of-power this is SPARTA!

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    Ive been there before with my dad too and a good friend of mine.

    I just ignore it. I love them both but in this situation, they're both a pair of idiots and their opinion is worth sod all.

    Nobody is perfect and your dad should be more supportive of you. Im sorry you feel down.

    Dont let it defeat you though, you've made the right decision doing the diet and you will get to your goal. Keep going and prove him wrong!!!
     
  4. johnie89

    johnie89 Full Member

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    Dont mind what he says, you're doing this for you. And theres no need to be looking back at the past and all the 'what ifs' that come with it.
     
  5. dizzydelly

    dizzydelly likes vw's!

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    Babe Forget what he has said and concentrate on what you are doing. youve made a brilliant start just keep going!!
    Good luck
    Dellyx
     
  6. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    my parents can cut me down with just a thoughtless line or twoso i understand where you are coming from. however, stay away from the fridge! Eating will just make you feel worse. he said 'you did this to yourself' and if you break your diet, he will be right, no? don't let that be the case... just crack on with your fab work! my mum has a horrible habit of saying things like... 'you're not going to wear that, are you? it makes you look even bigger'. EVEN BIGGER? the cow! lol
     
  7. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Thanks Laura :)
    I'm not going to give up as much as I want to sit in bed eating ice cream lol! He just thinks he's giving me good advice when he doesnt realise it upsets me as i'm not the strongest person at the minute anyway! oh well i'm going to watch desperate housewives and get a good nights sleep and keep going until i'm in my size tens and give him something to moan about then :p
    xxx
     
  8. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Thanks everyone you're all amazing!
    I just thought 'I have had no food pass my lips for over a week while you sit there eating a big sunday dinner'.. he has no idea how hard it is and then he goes and says something like that! I don't do something about my weight and he has something to say and I do something about it and get really determined then he shoots me back down to earth! just seems like I can't do right for bloody wrong! grrr!
    xxx
     
  9. mrsd2b

    mrsd2b Big Loser

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    Hi Clare,

    Never mind what he says, its quite insensitive if you ask me for a parent to say that, no matter what age u are etc. He isn't helping he is only being mean. He certainly doesn't mince his words but at the expense of your feelings. Instead of that he should be proud of you for doing this challenge to improve your health, get slim, feel fabulous. I'm sure he meant no real harm but it would be no harm having a word with him and telling him whats what and to let him know it would be more in his line to be supportive, making u coffee for example...oh Dad's Clare don't worry we all have one that goes shooting their mouth off...doesn't matter what age they are they never learn, we just have to rise above it! Keep going girl you are doing fantastically :) Hugs, Ciara xxx
     
  10. sparklebug

    sparklebug Full Member

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    i agree with mrsd2b, tell your dad that you're feeling vulnerable at the moment and insensitive comments like that are hurting your feelings. My dad does it to me too, although not very often now as i always give him a tongue lashing back. I had this last week (me) "i'm going to go early today as i don't want the smell of food cooking" (my dad) "oh why? i thought you liked the shakes, you keep on having them" ERM yes i'm trying to lose weight and the smell of egg and chips cooking will make me feel very sad indeed!!! Men bliddy useless at the best of times :D

    You're doing fantastically clare, don't let silly mean comments ruin your hard work. If most dad's had brains they'd be dangerous, that's why women/mums make the important decisions ;)
     
  11. bex!

    bex! im on my way to slimdom!

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    aww hun big hugs!!!! my brothers r the same but i just keep in my head why im doin this an that 4 me this was the best option that gave me the control an losses i needed.

    i no my dads not the best wiv words but if he says anythin regardin the diet or my weight i tell him that it upset me an that i need support not critisism.

    u av done really well so far hun. 9lb in a week. just remember why u decided to do tfr an that u r losin the weight now 4 u!!! no one else!!!

    feel better soon hun

    xox
     
  12. kellywobble

    kellywobble Full Member

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    Hi, It's my mum in my case it's not just with me its with everyone, she see's it says it and never gives a thought that she might be hurting your feelings. Thats just how some people are I suppose. Dont let it worry you. Well done for staying strong an thinking sod it rather than diving for ice cream. Next thing you'll be getting is "ooo dont you think you've gone far enough you dont want to make yourself ill" cant win. Have a good day x
     
  13. ohtobeslinky

    ohtobeslinky Silver Member

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    Massive hugs hun. Sometimes I think the closest to us don't realise when their "supportive" words really help. My mother is just the same - instead of congratulating me on the weight I've lost (6stone in total) she said "well you've still got a very long way to go now haven't you?" - not quite what I was wanting to hear!

    Chin up and good for you for not giving in. You're allowed a moan about the diet to whoever you want - especially us lot as we'll moan along with you!!! Keep going! xxx
     
  14. fabulous_clara

    fabulous_clara Full Member

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    Aw Clare, sending you a big hug :hug99:and some good karma :rainbow:

    Parents so often think they're acting in our best interests with a dose of "tough love", and the annoying thing is that with my mum, it genuinely is borne out of love! I've had to talk to my mum in the past about her negative attitude (example: A level results day in 1994 - Me (proper chuffed as I'd exceeded what I needed to get into uni): "Mum! I got an A for music, a B for biology and a D for chemistry!" Mum: "Hmmmm, if you'd worked harder at chemistry it would be a higher grade" FFS!!!). What they don't realise is that backhanded compliments and out and out insults don't motivate us, they make us feel sad! And therefore more susceptible to the lure of the doughnut, cheese scone, or whatever your poison of choice is!!!

    As a teacher I know that my pupils produce their best potential when they feel secure and confident - not guilty, insecure and full of self doubt/loathing.

    Anyway, over the years my ma has softened her tough love regime (after numerous chats and tears etc). When I tackle her about negativity I make sure she understands that I know she's acting in my best interests, but that it brings me down and could she maybe re-frame her "constructive criticism" in a more positive way? Nowadays she's still not gushingly positive (to be fair I wouldn't want her to be!) but she is certainly less accusatory and harsh.

    God I don't half go on! Sorry chuck! Suppose what i'm trying to say is don't let people's comments get you down, at the end of the day and in my experience I just think yes, things did get out of control with my weight, but I'm sorting it out now, and will be a slinky minky babe in a few months time - mincing around in short skirts, sexy dresses and little tops, feeling like a million dollars! So put that in your pipe and smoke it all you karma harshers! :stickdance:

    Oh, and you always have us lot on here to boost you up and make everything feel better! :D
     
  15. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Thanks again everyone!
    At least you all understand where I am coming from.. and it seems some of you guys are facing this 'criticism' aswell! I think that this diet, TOTM and that i've not seen the bf for 5 weeks are making me super emotional at the min! But I resisted chinese takeaway last week so I can resist anything.. and hopefully one day my dad might say 'oooh Gem you've done really well you look fantastic!' But that could be like getting water from a stone hehe.
    Anyways a new day..and i've realised I no longer feel hungry hurrraah!!
    Massive hugs to everyone who has posted on this thread :)
    xxx
     
  16. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Haha thanks Clara! You guys never fail to cheer me up :)
    I'm going to ignore any negativity that is said to me and just use my little saturday morning weigh ins to prove all them idiots wrong!
    xxx
     
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