So, I'm back again. Been on plan on and off all year to lose weight for my wedding (which I more or less managed) but since then have slipped back into appalling old habits. I do have another diary but I'm starting again as I want this to feel like a totally fresh start, rather than another restart.
I weighed in this morning at 14st 6, 2st 5lbs higher than my lowest weight on plan, and 2st higher than where I got to earlier this year before my wedding.
I'm feeling pretty upset with myself tonight, as my partner has just gone out to a wedding reception I was supposed to be going to, but have cried off from as I feel way too fat and will only spend the whole night feeling like a total embarrassment, to him and to myself. I feel so so sad that I'm not there enjoying the night with him. I know its an odd time to restart with Christmas coming up, especially as we're off to his family for three days over Christmas, but I know in the 5 days before then I can start to properly shift some bloat, hopefully control what I have those few days and come back and give the plan a really good go throughout January and February.
I can't keep doing this. I'm in a horrible cycle of 4/5 days on plan where I lose 8 lbs or so of water and a teeny bit of fat, and then feeling more comfortable and bingeing it all back on. I need to get down to 12st 1 (a BMI of 24 for me, and the weight at which I feel really good and have tons of nice clothes to fit me) and then start the rest of my life being more controlled, and potentially doing 5:2.
So the plan is as follows:
From now til 30th Jan on SS with 3 days off for Christmas. In those six weeks I should get down to about 12 and a half stone.
Then I want to do 2 weeks on step 2 (hopefully getting to 12st 1) and start going to the gym - I'll aim for 3 times a week of light cardio.
After that I'd like to gradually increase my calories while going to the gym til the point where I'm eating normally.
I really really really hope this is the last time I'm here, because all I can think about all the time is my weight, and I can't carry on like this anymore.
I weighed in this morning at 14st 6, 2st 5lbs higher than my lowest weight on plan, and 2st higher than where I got to earlier this year before my wedding.
I'm feeling pretty upset with myself tonight, as my partner has just gone out to a wedding reception I was supposed to be going to, but have cried off from as I feel way too fat and will only spend the whole night feeling like a total embarrassment, to him and to myself. I feel so so sad that I'm not there enjoying the night with him. I know its an odd time to restart with Christmas coming up, especially as we're off to his family for three days over Christmas, but I know in the 5 days before then I can start to properly shift some bloat, hopefully control what I have those few days and come back and give the plan a really good go throughout January and February.
I can't keep doing this. I'm in a horrible cycle of 4/5 days on plan where I lose 8 lbs or so of water and a teeny bit of fat, and then feeling more comfortable and bingeing it all back on. I need to get down to 12st 1 (a BMI of 24 for me, and the weight at which I feel really good and have tons of nice clothes to fit me) and then start the rest of my life being more controlled, and potentially doing 5:2.
So the plan is as follows:
From now til 30th Jan on SS with 3 days off for Christmas. In those six weeks I should get down to about 12 and a half stone.
Then I want to do 2 weeks on step 2 (hopefully getting to 12st 1) and start going to the gym - I'll aim for 3 times a week of light cardio.
After that I'd like to gradually increase my calories while going to the gym til the point where I'm eating normally.
I really really really hope this is the last time I'm here, because all I can think about all the time is my weight, and I can't carry on like this anymore.