Wannabesize10 - wants to be a 'fit mummy' lol

[wannabesize10]

I've decided to write a diary this time to review and keep check of myself I have enjoyed browsing others and feel it's a good tool towards keeping motivated

I'm only 5'1 I had bollooned to 13 stone 4lbs in 2008 after failed IVF feeling sorry for myself eating for comfort enought was enough I lost 4 stone on vlcd and calorie counting ... Got divorced ( he was cheating ) met someone else married and had a natural miracle baby son

After having him I have gone up and down with my weight and now currently 12 stone 3lbs as weighed by my Cambridge counsellor this morning

I have been promising myself for years that's I would get back to just over 9 stone and be fit and healthy but after a few days gave in to temptation,

I planned to start New Year's Day 2016, much to my utter surprise found out I was pregnant!! This was such a blessing and wonderful surprise but very very sadly I had a missed miscarriage and it was a private scan that revealed the babies heart had stopped at 10 weeks, I opted for surgery as my body was still very much supporting the pregnancy and this was carried out 10th feb up until last week I was still showing positive on pregnancy test.
I know people say things happen for a reason but I honestly am at a lost to think what the reason could have been especially as seeing a lovely flashing heartbeat at 6. & 8 weeks,
Anyway I promised myself that I need to get healthy for my son, I am so blessed to have him I need to get out of the obese category and get my confidence back,
Today is my first day of sole source but I have been having little milk in my tea to ease me in, I enjoy drinking water so that's not been a problem had about 3 litres today plus tea have another pint or so before bed,
I struggle with the shakes so can only manage the ready mades this is what I am on 21 ready made shakes lol no washing up for me
I have never done vlcd having children to cook and prepare pack lunches for etc ( my 2 adorable step daughters ) live with us full time so we are a busy family of 5! I think this maybe the hard part for me, I work mainly full time I try have a day at home to write reports etc so that will help keep me busy and I can tell the children I had my dinner at work I will tell the. I will have a snack when they are I bed I'm very conscious that my step daughters are an impressionable age 7 neary 8 and 10, they have a good healthy replationship with food I want it to stay that way,
I'm excited for next week to see what my 1st week's lost will be even if water weight hoping this will spur me on, fro past experience I think once I get to day 3-4 I found d I had increased energy and didn't think of food 24/7 lol

 

[wannabesize10]

Damm .....been so good all day kids in bed hubby away with work found the bloody biscuits :-( idiot honestly this is day one
Think tomorrow I will be in bed at 9 .... Need to get in to ketosis until then avoid temptation very cross at myself

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Good luck with it! Ketosis will kick in soon for you hopefully and you'll sail away

 

[themiddle]

Keep going. It's hard when there's other people to feed. I've got a big bowl of haribo on my kitchen table calling my name. X

 

[wannabesize10]

Thursday 3rd was good ...100% while at work, I'm finding preparing meals for the children and lunches difficult I ended up having two boiled eggs :-(
Went to bed early as hungry pain & hubby away so bored didn't want to keep going to the kitchen,

Friday 4th really good at work although fat Friday ...cake ,chips, chocolate sweets didn't have anything, very proud of myself
Had small amount of plain chicken once home
Hoping ketosis will kick in soon ....hubby returned I've bite his head off as trying to explain how hard it's been not eating obviously no idea esp as his been eating at a restaurant in hotel for 4 days ....
I do realise this time round it's harder I'm older I'm not as fat as before and children it's difficult as temptation is around
Hoping I'll feel better tomorrow as I'd love to eat have something warm

 

[wannabesize10]

I'm struggling to drink the water at the weekend with children obviously like most mums the kids needs come first I find myself sorting them and my Husband ...then back to kids forgetting about me, that's just how it's always been
I'm dreaming of calorie counting as today being Mother's Day I feel so punished not having a meal
Thinking am I really that fat I can't be trusted with food,
My husband isn't a great help because he keeps saying he can't wait till I'm slim again and that he wants me to keep at the Cambridge so I'm guilt trip into it

I know I'm seriously over weight I need to address it for my health and my appearance,confidence
But I read others on here living 3-4 lbs eating 'real' food every week
Hmm only week one got to keep on but I definitely feel like I'm punishing myself ️xx

 

[sunnyrae]

You are doing great. I find it a good idea to write a list about all the reasons I want/need to lose weight. Like not feeling like people are thinking wow she's put on weight that I haven't seen for ages, or because I want to feel good in all of my clothes and feel comfortable.

Write a long list and every time you feel that you are punishing yourself give it a read it will help you to see that you are doing this not to punish yourself but to help yourself because you deserve to feel better!!!