Want to restart, can't afford it :(

[Jubbly]

Hi guys, it's been a long time since I've been on here but deperately needing some words of encouragement!!

I started CD back in August 2006 at 12 and a half stone and by following it absolutely religiously (I was so proud of myself, giving up drinking and everything!!) lost 3 and a half stone by Christmas 2006 and even getting below that. I was so happy when in the first half of 2007 I was under 9 stone (think 8 stone 10 at lightest, am 5'5") and seemed to be keeping it off. Noted weight every week and when I put on one week, could lose it the week after. Had a new job and life was good. Started putting a bit on August 2007 but nothing too drastic. Maintained around 9 stone 4 ish, preferred the smaller size but others said I looked better. Went on holiday in September, ate the world and was still sensible on return and managed to lose it. Then I split up with my boyfriend in October, managed to keep it off initially but then met someone else, moved out into a flat of my own, been stressed, depressed, don't like new job, gave up exercise, went back on the pill (BIG factor for me) and and have been steadily expanding since the New Year. All weigh-ins since January except 3 that were just under have been over 9 and a half stone. The last one was last week at 9 stone 10 lb - a whole *stone* over the 8 stone 10 lb I got down to this time last year and the heaviest I have been since week 12 of my diet - in October 2006. It's got to the point now where I just hate myself, am disgusted by my body, just want to eat all the time, hate photos, just can't be bothered. And I WOULD go back on CD for a bit to get back down to 9 stone except there's NO WAY I can afford it. All I seem to eat is cheap crap, I always found when I ate really well in maintenance it cost me loads of money too. Want carbs, carbs, carbs. Descending into downward spiral. Doesn't help that new man gave up smoking when he met me and has put on 2 stone in the last 4 months through eating rubbish all the time, plus I seem to be drinking a lot as well. I know in the grand scheme of things my BMI is not overweight but I feel gross and my friend who I dieted with at the same time and always managed to "sychronise" with has now got to 8 and a half stone and is tiny and pushes food around on her plate while I'm probably 10 stone. Say probably as I won't weigh myself anymore, too miserable about it. Feel doomed to put it back on and just be a statistic. All my clothes (10-12) are getting tighter and they're all tatty and horrible anyway and I can't afford new ones. Think I should come off pill but don't want to now with new guy and all. Help!! Clare.

:break_diet:

 

[Time4ME]

Ah mate - I know how you feel.... Firstly give yourself a huge pat on the back for KNOWING that you need to get this eating business sorted and you have ONLY put on 14lbs - I put on 4 stone before I realised....

I know that the packs seem rather alot but that is only because it is your initial outlay for the packs in advance.... What I mean is you spend more on avaerage feeding yourself breakfast, dinner and lunch than you would on packs surely??????

Why not go for an initial purchase of 2 weeks supply perhaps? Water out of the tap is FOC, and although many of us our snobs over our water, if thats all there was thats all we'd drink!

I know you feel desperate - BUT thats more because you have been in control for a long time and you have done nothing more than loosen your grip, you can re-gain your composure and you know how to.

You can either carry on eating and getting bigger or deal with it how you know best!

Good luck - though somehow I think you are gonna be fine xxxxxx

 

[Jubbly]

Thanks Time4Me. I'm just so DEPRESSED though, I don't think I can do it. It's like a totally self-destructive thing. Going through a major crisis of confidence I have literally not a penny to my name and am living off the frozen stuff in my freezer so can't buy packs until payday (when it will only be another week and then I'll have no money again anyway. Life is one constant wait for payday).

 

[caronlookalike]

Jubbly - can't you train as a counsellor yourself? This would give you some motivation to stay on track, some extra earnings, and you'd get your diet at cost. Just a thought.

 

[Mazza]

Hi Jubbly

Sorry to hear your feeling so down. As Clare said it takes some of us alot longer than putting a stone back on to realise we need to do something. You mention that you gave up excercise, as you know excercising can give you a real buzz. If your short of cash (ie cant afford the gym) have you got any dvds to work out too or could you go running.

This diet can be expensive but as you wont be buying booze etc it might not be as bad as you think.

Good luck with what ever you decide and take care!

Maz x

 

[userfourtwenty]

Everybody says this is a very expensive diet but in reality it works out much much cheaper than the weekly shop. I used to spend about £30 a week on takeaways so this works out about the same as just my takeaways. Obviously none of this is much consolation when you're absolutely skint but you I honestly think anyone who has the willpower to do CD can channel it into eating healthy food until they get a bit more cash. Also, I find walking great not only for weight loss but also for self esteem and it's free yaaaaaaaaayy!! I am frequently skint but I plough my pennies into CD and when I looked at the bigger picture, I saved money. But yeah, go for nice long walks, they're brilliant for self esteem AND weight loss.

Good luck and try and stay positive!