Hi guys, it's been a long time since I've been on here but deperately needing some words of encouragement!!
I started CD back in August 2006 at 12 and a half stone and by following it absolutely religiously (I was so proud of myself, giving up drinking and everything!!) lost 3 and a half stone by Christmas 2006 and even getting below that. I was so happy when in the first half of 2007 I was under 9 stone (think 8 stone 10 at lightest, am 5'5") and seemed to be keeping it off. Noted weight every week and when I put on one week, could lose it the week after. Had a new job and life was good. Started putting a bit on August 2007 but nothing too drastic. Maintained around 9 stone 4 ish, preferred the smaller size but others said I looked better. Went on holiday in September, ate the world and was still sensible on return and managed to lose it. Then I split up with my boyfriend in October, managed to keep it off initially but then met someone else, moved out into a flat of my own, been stressed, depressed, don't like new job, gave up exercise, went back on the pill (BIG factor for me) and and have been steadily expanding since the New Year. All weigh-ins since January except 3 that were just under have been over 9 and a half stone. The last one was last week at 9 stone 10 lb - a whole *stone* over the 8 stone 10 lb I got down to this time last year and the heaviest I have been since week 12 of my diet - in October 2006. It's got to the point now where I just hate myself, am disgusted by my body, just want to eat all the time, hate photos, just can't be bothered. And I WOULD go back on CD for a bit to get back down to 9 stone except there's NO WAY I can afford it. All I seem to eat is cheap crap, I always found when I ate really well in maintenance it cost me loads of money too. Want carbs, carbs, carbs. Descending into downward spiral. Doesn't help that new man gave up smoking when he met me and has put on 2 stone in the last 4 months through eating rubbish all the time, plus I seem to be drinking a lot as well. I know in the grand scheme of things my BMI is not overweight but I feel gross and my friend who I dieted with at the same time and always managed to "sychronise" with has now got to 8 and a half stone and is tiny and pushes food around on her plate while I'm probably 10 stone. Say probably as I won't weigh myself anymore, too miserable about it. Feel doomed to put it back on and just be a statistic. All my clothes (10-12) are getting tighter and they're all tatty and horrible anyway and I can't afford new ones. Think I should come off pill but don't want to now with new guy and all. Help!! Clare.
:break_diet:
I started CD back in August 2006 at 12 and a half stone and by following it absolutely religiously (I was so proud of myself, giving up drinking and everything!!) lost 3 and a half stone by Christmas 2006 and even getting below that. I was so happy when in the first half of 2007 I was under 9 stone (think 8 stone 10 at lightest, am 5'5") and seemed to be keeping it off. Noted weight every week and when I put on one week, could lose it the week after. Had a new job and life was good. Started putting a bit on August 2007 but nothing too drastic. Maintained around 9 stone 4 ish, preferred the smaller size but others said I looked better. Went on holiday in September, ate the world and was still sensible on return and managed to lose it. Then I split up with my boyfriend in October, managed to keep it off initially but then met someone else, moved out into a flat of my own, been stressed, depressed, don't like new job, gave up exercise, went back on the pill (BIG factor for me) and and have been steadily expanding since the New Year. All weigh-ins since January except 3 that were just under have been over 9 and a half stone. The last one was last week at 9 stone 10 lb - a whole *stone* over the 8 stone 10 lb I got down to this time last year and the heaviest I have been since week 12 of my diet - in October 2006. It's got to the point now where I just hate myself, am disgusted by my body, just want to eat all the time, hate photos, just can't be bothered. And I WOULD go back on CD for a bit to get back down to 9 stone except there's NO WAY I can afford it. All I seem to eat is cheap crap, I always found when I ate really well in maintenance it cost me loads of money too. Want carbs, carbs, carbs. Descending into downward spiral. Doesn't help that new man gave up smoking when he met me and has put on 2 stone in the last 4 months through eating rubbish all the time, plus I seem to be drinking a lot as well. I know in the grand scheme of things my BMI is not overweight but I feel gross and my friend who I dieted with at the same time and always managed to "sychronise" with has now got to 8 and a half stone and is tiny and pushes food around on her plate while I'm probably 10 stone. Say probably as I won't weigh myself anymore, too miserable about it. Feel doomed to put it back on and just be a statistic. All my clothes (10-12) are getting tighter and they're all tatty and horrible anyway and I can't afford new ones. Think I should come off pill but don't want to now with new guy and all. Help!! Clare.
:break_diet: