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Wee joke for you all :D

ChellyWellyBoot

I will be skinny again!!!
S: 14st10.5lb C: 11st12.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 23.9 Loss: 2st12lb(19.37%)
#1
this is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years?
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
was making her sick.


He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out.


The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one christmas day
morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs
sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the
spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of
his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps
as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'honey you
were right.' 'all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to
you'.

'what do you mean?' asked his wife.

'well, you always told me that one day i would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened.

'but by the grace of god, with some vaseline and two fingers. I think i got
most of them back in
 
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killercurls

I *will* be skinny again!
G: 10st5lb
#3
haha! i've actually heard that one before! still good though :)
 


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