Weight loss V body confidence

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Sticky, 16 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

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    I went clothes shopping on Saturday to buy a dress for my freind's birthday bash at the weekend. I'm going to Manchester to stay with her overnight and we'll be hitting the town like we used to. Excited? YEAH!

    I walked into the first shop feeling confident. I thought I'd go for a relatively shortish dress but one with the sleeves in (if you know the ones I mean?) and couple it with some coloured tights and funky accessories and wear my hair loose but 'messy'.

    It was a disaster - I didn't see the sexy woman looking back in the mirror I'd wanted to, but an awkward girl who looked fat and wobbly. I was mostly dissapointed with my legs, which I thought we worthy of an outing now, but eugh! No! And it was worse than before weight loss, cause this time I thought I'd be finding it hard to choose what to buy because I liked a few outfits!

    BUT I KNOW this is in my head more than reality.

    I ended up with a pair of trousers and a sparkly top which is loose fitting but hangs lovely. Put on a bolero top and heels and that'll do. But that's the thing...it'll DO :-( . I used to love wearing skirts and dresses, and now I hate them. I want to be how I was before again...

    It's insane because I know I look so much better than I did before I started SW and I've lost nearly 2 dress sizes now. Yes I have a few lbs left to lose and I need to do some serious toning on my tummy still but I shouldn't be leaving still feeling the way I did before the losses.

    It just goes to show how much our weight, past, current or previous, can become our worst enemy and really cloud how we see ourselves and how we feel. I said above 'I want to be how I used to be' and that's my problem. Right there. I am living in the past still and I think I am suffering from some serious anger about the whole thing. I used to be slim and toned and even then I didn't always feel confident! But back then I was a bit obsessive about working out and at one point I was way too thin and looked hideous. Yet I am still comparing myself to that point in my life. And it's dangerous! Do I want to be a twig again? No I don't...so why do I still find it hard to stand infront of a mirror and look at myself, clothed or otherwise? I have curves now, which I love, and I need to start seeing them as good things and not cringing whenever I try something on! Gah!

    I know we all have body issues which is why I wanted to post this. Saturday made me realise just how deeply our insecurities can run, and they can remain after weight has been lost and improvements been made. Will we ever be 100% happy (or even just happy) with our bodies or have we all become jaded from people's cruel comments etc?

    And, as well as comparing to another time, how many of us put our lives on hold until we get to our goal weight?

    I've decided that I no longer want to feel like I do now going shopping so I am going to be trying to embrace my body more and working on toning myself up more (to help step 1 lol).

    But more importantly, I have to try and be happy in my own skin. I have this one body and I am fed up of hating it.

    Just my thoughts this weekend...
     
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  3. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    I know exactly how you feel Hun.

    I have hated myself for so long, that its taken me a few years to actually tolerate the skin that Im in!
    Now that I have started to receive compliments about my weight loss, Im a little more happy to accept my body and have even ventured to wearing clothes with a pattern!! Forget the plain black stuff!!! Lol.
    Im finally coming around to enjoying myself and relaxing more in public events/situations and find that Im smiling more!

    xxx
     
  4. HellieCopter

    HellieCopter Gold Member

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    What a fab thread Christina! As I'm at work I don't have time to go into huge detail, but I can totally and utterly relate.

    I'm a size 12, but I feel like I can't wear so many things. I should feel fab in lots of outfits but often come away from a shopping trip with nothing and feeling miserable. In some ways, I feel bigger now than I did when I was in 16s and 18s. How odd is that?
    I don't ever really remember a time when I was happy with my size (honestly, not even in childhood!), so I can't hark back for the way things were but I know I am still not happy with the way things are yet. I just have to keep telling myself that I DO look better, I just need to find the right things to wear that will flatter me and make me feel confident in my own skin, and then I'll exude confidence externally too...

    x
     
  5. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

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    Start Weight:
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    Current Weight:
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    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Thanks girlies for the replies. It's comforting to know you're not alone in how you feel - this forum is wonderful for that.

    I'm spending time today getting my head straight. I've started a diary on here and tempted to get a real life one too to try and work through stress in general (gotta stop being a bottler) and work on my bodu confidence issues. I'm 27 in December and would like 2010 to be a year where I am happy with myself and not critical. This year has been tough but next year there is a lot to look forwards to xxx
     
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