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what will it feel like when its gone?

Myself and a friend were talking the other evening, she has lost 6stone on LL recently and we were discussing our mindspace once the weight has gone. She says she still feels like the 'fat' girl, and that all the thoughts and feelings she had before she lost the weight hadn't gone away like she thought after losing all the weight. I wonder if this is the case with many other people?
I have previously done CD and lost 2stone, it was nice and i felt more confident, but I didnt stick to maintenance (mainly because i didnt hit my goal) but this time it has to be the last diet I do. My CDC is lovely and supportive, but i cant help thinking, is it enough?!
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I was talking to husband about a subject very similar to this the other day.

I'm excited but vaguely terrified too. I think I've used my weight as an excuse for so long to put off things, that when its gone, I'm faced with me.

Plus I'll look completely different. I've brown so used to seeing me in the mirror as I have been for the past 6 years that to see me looking like an older version of me when I was slim is going to be a bit of a shock.

I think its a confidence thing too. I don't see a reason to be confident at the moment just now, that doesn't make any sense but its how I feel. I have a very hard time accepting praise and compliments. Will have to work on it at goal. Because I am getting to goal.
yeah, the confidence thing is such a big thing for me. Im a primary school teacher, so i dont really have a problem with putting on a front and talking etc... but when it comes to socialising with other people (which I have to do anyway) I know that my weight holds me back in many aspects. But its never been different, so im quite intruiged to know how it will change me! I suppose I should be excited, rather than anxious!? I hope that makes sense!


I tend to do the classic thing of cracking the fat jokes before anyone else does. None of my friends would say anything like that to me, but I always feel as if I have to get in there first.

Also they think I'm really confident. I get invited to parties by people who have met me once because I really am the "life and soul" in a group. But I know its mostly front. Inwardly most of the time I'd rather be at home with the husband and dog because I feel more comfortable there.
haha, you sound like me...Boyfriend, DVD, and Dog..in tracky bottoms....! this summer is jam packed for festivals and parties and weddings...So this the last time for me! x


What gets me is the level of insult I throw at myself on a daily basis.

"Can't wear that I'm too fat"
"I look terrible today"
"Thunder thighs"

If anyone else said that to me I would have to be physically restrained, so I don't see why I do it to myself.

Its stopping now.
It is very difficult to imagine yourself slim if you have been forever like I have, I hate my body and I suppose i too have used it as an excuse for so long to get out of doing things..
I think for me though, I know I will still have my troubles, I know I will still have all my difficulties, but I won't be stuck with a body I don't want... I can change so many aspects of my life instantly, by not associating with certain people for instance or changing a job, having a hair cut etc, but the weight thing I suppose has been like a prison and although there has always been an escape route, sometimes its better the devil you know, and it's the knowledge that to get out of the prison it is a long arduous journey with the threat of failure at every corner...
I too lack self confidence, call myself names and constantly put myself down. I am working on that though,,, I never even used to be able to take a compliment without thinking someone was taking the P,

I have a very hard time imagining what I might look like or what I will feel like once I've lost all the weight. I try to imagine, but I just come up with a big blank!
I have a very hard time imagining what I might look like or what I will feel like once I've lost all the weight. I try to imagine, but I just come up with a big blank!
Same here-I just can't picture it as I've been overweight for such a long time(since I was 21 and I'm now 37!!)
I lost weight after my daughter was born and got to goal in 1998, I started at 17 stone and went down to 11 and a half. I started wearing all the things that I was never able to wear in my teens and felt fab, unfortunately my then husband didn't like my new found confidence and the attention I got so I gradually put it all back on again and more. My partner now has known me slim and big (I've known him since I was a child) but I am painfully aware that I am the biggest gf he has had, and as he is quite fit and hunky I do get paranoid. All the times I've tried to lose weight before I think I was doing it more for HIM, but this time I'm doing it for ME, and because I remember what I looked like all those years ago (and I still have a certain sexy dress I used to wear hanging in the wardrobe waiting for me) I think with the different mindset it is definately helping me to keep going. Please, please all you lovely ladies (and gents) like yourselves, love yourselves, and be proud of yourselves for coming this far, because you ARE worth it and you're all gorgeous anyway, but you will be even more gorgeous if you can only believe in yourselves that you CAN do this, and when you do get there, you will feel FABULOUS!!! <I'm nearly in tears here typing this, silly mare lol) xxxxxx


Stubborn tortoise
Great thread... Furry, you are very wise and very honest. You are right, learning to accept and like ourselves is SO important... whatever our size might be. I know that because for so many years I only approved of myself if others did, saw myself reflected I guess in the opinions/eyes of others. Always trying to please everyone... except myself. I am starting to grow up these last few years, a little late, but better late than never.

Yes, it's weird getting slimmer again as it felt safer somehow to be big. I had an excuse to look in the mirror and hate myself then... I was consumed with guilt and shame about the way I ate. Owning up to an abusive relationship with food and researching ways to end that cycle have been a BIG part of my journey, but CD gave me the space to do that & minis the opportunity to find support & to learn.

Thanks everyone who has posted. I know we cannot find confidence overnight, but it's something we HAVE to work on if we want to get to goal and stay there, I think.



Gone fishing
She says she still feels like the 'fat' girl, and that all the thoughts and feelings she had before she lost the weight hadn't gone away like she thought after losing all the weight. I wonder if this is the case with many other people?
Umm. Wonder if I should tell you what you want to hear, or the truth :D

I'll go for the truth ;)

You know how you have problems before you lose the weight...well...most of them are still there after you get to goal:eek:

Somethings you expect to change, don't...but then other things crop up and you think "wow....how cool is that :cool:

I still see myself as big, but I don't feel it...not physically. I feel great. I feel flexible, alive. I can fit into smaller spaces, and do so just for the fun of it.

I skip down the street (in the dark :D) I run down the corridor at school and get told off by the kids :eek:

I thought I'd be skydiving or making a brand new social life for myself...but I didn't. I thought that my weight was stopping me doing it, but in fact it turned out that I didn't really want to, and the weight was a perfect excuse.

I thought I'd be more confident, but I'm not, though my self esteem has rocketed and I realise that's more important anyway.

So things are different and not as I expected. Overall, it's actually much better than I imagined, probably because of the self esteem thingy. Without that, life sucks big time whatever you do.
:) Great thread!!!!!

I am only 7lbs away from target but although I know I have lost 3 and a half stone it only dawned on me today how much thinner I really looked. Went shopping to Southampton with my 19 year old daughter today and I kept catching glances of my reflection in the mirrors and couldn't believe it really was me.....suppose it hadn't really sunk in as I don't think I feel any different inside. Yes I've got more confidence but I'm still the same old Tracey, everyones rock. I think it will take a while to get used the the new-founded attention as I have spent the last 10-15 years being over-weight, avoiding going to parties, spendig hours looking for something to wear to a partcular function and then making excuses about going cause I couldn't find anything to wear.

I must admit it felt great today shopping as I was spoilt for choice and was able to shop in the trendy shops. :D
I look forward to when that is me Tracey......Katycakes, thankyou love, but KD is much more wise than me!! Everyone who knows me says that I seem very confident and 'jolly', god I so hate that word 'jolly'. But those that know me even better know inside I'm very sensitive and shy.....why oh why do we always seem to feel we need to put on some sort of persona....? At work I'm confident yes, but I do the same thing when I'm getting ready to go out in the evening, I go through my whole wardrobe not likeing the look of anything on me, to the point of making THAT excuse not to go out in the end...yes KD i agree that any problems we had when we were big WILL most probably still be there when we are slim, but hey, we'll feel a lot better about ourselves while we sort them out (hopefully) !! xx


Stubborn tortoise
Furry, I agree, KD is a legend, and a mentor to lots of us on minis... we couldn't do without her. And wise words as ever, we take our problems with us whatever size we are, losing weight is not a magic cure-all. But for me and lots of us here I think, it may be the first step in a bigger journey that involves making the changes we need to create happier and more positive lives.

Furry, funny that we choose different masks to show the world... mine was a 'people-pleaser' mask (read: doormat) for years, which attracted lots of users to me as well as some amazing and fab people who saw past that to the me inside, and who weren't the kind of people to take advantage. So recognising that over last few years has been hard & having the courage to let go of some of the people who repeatedly hurt me. And growing up, at long last, and learning to say no occasionally... the users really don't like that.

I think that people are mostly pretty fab and I'd rather see the best in them than otherwise. But those who can look past the mask and see who we really are are worth everything. And eventually, perhaps we won't need to hide behind 'jolly' or 'helpful' any more, and just be ourselves, and we won't need to hide behind layers of fat either.

Anyway... long-winded way of saying I think you ARE wise Furry, your post just chimed and meant something to me... so thanks again.

Thankyou Katycakes pet xxx


Silver Member
This is a great thread. I'm worried about this, too... in general I'm quite an insecure person, so I worry that even when I lose weight, there will still be something holding me back. I'm worried, I'll start to pick out other things about myself and focus on them.


Stubborn tortoise
Sbridge, if you feel that then you already know you have more work to do than just the diet. Try to build up your self-esteem and learn to like/trust yourself. Trusting others won't be so hard after that. As KD has righty said, CD can help us to get slim, but won't sort out our other worries/ hang-ups. Only we can do that. But taking control of one area of my life with Cd has helped me to look at other areas that weren't working and make changes there too... that's what you will have to do.

Knowing that CD is not a cure-all is a good start... you can do it, honey. Hugs.



Silver Member
Thanks Katycakes, that is so true; I know that CD will help to diminish some of the bad feelings inside but I know it's not going to be a cure. I am going to have to work on the other bits myself, in time :)