When did you first start putting on weight?

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by The Rose, 26 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    In a cognitive therapy session I carried out an exercise where you had to draw a time-line - when I was thin in my life, and when I started putting on weight.

    I found it very useful to firstly to recognise that there was a reason behind my weight gain, and secondly, I could go back and re-address these issues that I hadn't dealt with and that I was still keeping inside.

    I haven't done this to depress people. I started putting on weight and stop caring about myself after I my son died. I realised that I hadn't dealt with this, and it helped me. I have since received a lot more help and support about this, but it took this exercise to bring it to the forefront of my mind.

    Didn't know if you carried out this exercise it may help you.

    Love

    Rosie xx
     
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  3. Jellababy

    Jellababy Likes to eat.....

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    Hi Rosie sounds like you've started something good there. For me I put on weight when I was 16 after a doctor prescribed antidepressents for me and he warned me they could cause false hunger but to ignore it....well I didnt ignore it and was soo hungry all the time and I put on 3 stone in 3 months :-( it was the beginning for me something flipped a switch and even though I lost that weight I never lost a huge appetite I had gained it was like a switch was flipped in my brain so I put it all back on and another 1.5 stone over the years, just didnt care about myself at all. But in the last 3yrs I've lost 3 stone and finally trying to loose the last 1.5 stone but it's hard very hard...sorry if i've gone on too much and if that wasn't the purpose of your post!Also i'm so very sorry you lost your son I can't even imagine how that must be....
     
  4. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    Thank you for sharing this, I sometimes think doctors play around with childrens lives when he could have sent you for psychological support. Doctors take the easy option, and are not necessarily trained in mental health.

    Well done on your weight loss and it sounds as you have definitely recognised where it started and are doing something to change it, well done.:D

    Love
    Rosie xx
     
  5. Jellababy

    Jellababy Likes to eat.....

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    Thanks Rose it was a psychiatrist who put me on them but he should have known better too! I was too embarrased to say but i've said so much it doesnt matter now
     
  6. unity

    unity Member

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    Oh wow, I so wish I could recall ever been thin..
    I am the youngest of six children, the baby, they called me. As I gained weight, everyone always said, Don't worry it is puppy fat. Years later how I hate that saying.
    I have now started a healthy eating plan and motivate myself to exercise daily. As where as before I found any reason not to exercise.
    To date I have lost 9 kilograms. And going strong.
     
  7. Quak

    Quak Gold Member

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    Unity - that sounds so much like me - I have never been thin - at school I put on a stone for every year..................and yes they told me it was puppy fat too - I must have stopped being a puppy 30 odd years ago :cry: so way past time to do something about it!
    B xx
     
  8. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    :D
    Wow!! well done on your weight loss. I hate those words "puppy fat". I am afraid I was always a pretty skinny child but was also one of six children. Maybe because you were the youngest you were spoilt??!!!

    Keep going with your weight programme as it is obviously working.

    Rosie x
     
  9. shrinkingannie

    shrinkingannie Gold Member

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    I was always a fairly average weight - but I went on my first diet age 9 and was always wanting to be thinner. I became bulimic later in my teens and fluctuated a bit but the worst was when I was 25 I gained 3 stone in 3 months. I lost it eventually and this weight I have now I gained being pregnant with my first son, I still have lots of issues with food and Im sick of them to be honest but at the moment Im too tired to even try to deal with them so I am just trying to lose some weight - I feel rotten at this size.
     
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  10. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    I think this is a great topic - anything that helps you get a handle on why you got caught in the self-destructive cycle of behaviour with food has to be a good thing!

    I was a slim child, very active, did a lot of sports classes and stuff like that. I think the problems started in adolescence. For one thing, I loved chocolate and always had a weakness for sweet treats, but I don't know if greed alone can explain it - although it explains a big portion of it! My home life was rather topsy turvy and I found myself bullied at school, so I'd start going to the tuck shop in the mornings and 'arming' myself with my only real friends I could rely on - sadly enough they were Snickers and Twixes and all that jazz. I'd also buy bags of sweets, I found that if I had some to offer other people, the bullying wasn't always as bad. It was like a chocolate protection racket, I guess! :p

    I didn't become obese in my teens, but I was definitely a big girl. My weight hovered around 12-13 stone and being 5'10" I was usually referred to as 'ten tonne Tessie' or other similarly charming epithets. I didn't have any confidence at all, really, and took all this to heart, so the self-image I had was built on all the negative things I heard, and I suppose I started to regard myself as a bit of a monster.

    I had a miserable time at uni, all my own fault really, I was painfully shy and avoidant... I just tried to keep my head down and not be noticed at all. After uni I found myself stuck in a rut, depressed and socially extremely anxious, and I suppose I didn't really see much of a future for myself. I certainly didn't think I was worth the effort of changing my lifestyle and hoping for something better. I relied on chocolate as a crutch, really. If I had a bar of chocolate, I was dulling whatever I felt, stuffing down any negative emotions. There came a point, though, where all the choccie in the world just couldn't help.

    I suppose that's the timeline for me - realising that choc-scoffing was a symptom of the problems inside, rather than any kind of effective solution or anaesthetic. Trying to divorce your mental and emotional issues from your physical behaviours and addictions is extremely difficult, though. But the first step is realising that you're not helping yourself with food, you're just hurting yourself.

    I think your own story is deeply inspirational, Rosie. You've come through so much and you're still so positive and proactive about making your life better and getting where you want to be. That takes a lot of strength and courage!
     
  11. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    Dear Iris

    Thank you so much for your post and for sharing these intimate parts of your life with everyone.

    I believe that you are right when you say food is a symptom rather than a solution, although at the time, we may not even realise that we are using food as a solution. Recognition is a massive step in healing old wounds. As individuals we have deep mental scars, which may be affecting every part of our lives. We are adaptable and we can change our lives to make them happier and more fulfilling.

    I am so sorry for all of the horrible things that you have been through Iris, yet you are so incredibly supportive to everyone on this forum and as a fairly new user, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    You have been an inspiration to me on this journey.

    Love
    Rosie xx
     
  12. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    You're a lovely person, Rosie! You know, I was thinking the other night that it seems like the best people have always been forged in fire, you know? Maybe when people have been through a lot in their lives it makes them more compassionate and gentler with others - and a lot nicer to be around! The world needs more Rosies.

    There's so many great people on this site, too, I think it's wonderful how we can all support each other on the journey. We'll all have weak days, but they're easier to handle when there's an army of good folks ready to be strong for you when you can't be!
     
  13. Konvictz

    Konvictz Full Member

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    ok i have a rather different story.

    i was slim as a child. and then at 11 i started doing weight lifting (il be honest, i did it to impress girls in my school...and it worked...to a certain extent)...so then my weight went up coz of the extra muscle i had.

    and then i stopped after 2 years, i had pacs and okish arms.

    and then when i was 15 i started drinking coke everyday and fast food and stuf. and we stopped playing football and pe in school.

    and now im almost 19, i been eating the exact same junk for the last 5 years regurlary...and now ive got a belly coming along lol. looking back, i am a bit suprised that it took so long for me to gain all this weight.

    you may not think im fat if you see me normally, however non of my family or cousines or uncles are fat...which means compared to them, i look huge lol.

    but being 'fat' right now doesnt bother me. because for most of my life i was skinny, and also something in my head says this 'fat' will be gone as soon as i start my wiehgt lifting and cardio again.

    one thing is for certain, coke is responsible for about 75% of my weight gain.
     
  14. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    :D
    I think you are right about coke being responsible for a lot of weight gain - there is so much sugar in coke and even diet coke contains certain triggers which may cause overeating and addiction to sweet things.

    You are a young man and are doing something about this. A lot of people do not recognise the symptoms and causes until they are gravely obese. Well done to you and keep up your hard work and training

    Love
    Rosie xx
     
  15. Konvictz

    Konvictz Full Member

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    ah thank you...

    yeah ive banned fizzy drinks in my house for my lil bros and sis (but i secretly have my coke)...

    i wasnt allowed any coke when i was small, but when i was 15 i became a man and starting buying my own.

    and yeah i really do not want to be gravely obese lol...
     
  16. Georgiestar

    Georgiestar Silver Member

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    this is a good thread, well I went through stages of over eating at times and I went through a stage of eating chips everyday for lunch at school, but luckerly I stayed slim, I guess I didnt always overeat and I walked to school everyday and did cross country, anyway I noticed the weight creaping up when I was 17, I went to college and had a few chocolate bars and hot chocolates in break times and also had a pudding most evenings, and I didnt do much excersise, I wasnt overweight though, after that when I was 19 I went into hospital because I had a nervous breakdown struck by over working and the loss of my mother, when I was in there I lost a bit of weight, I put this down to the tablets not being in my system and I was having a really healthy diet, when I came out the weight creaped back on again really quickly and more but also my lifestyle had changed, I was a bit down at home so decided to live with grandmother and she has alot of sweet things, I then decided to go on a diet and to join a gym, I also had the chance to move into suported accomadation which is for people who are recovering, but its not a hostal, I'm now a few pounds below my normal college weight and I am alot happier, I still have the odd food issues and I think that is due to my medication, I've also been on holiday recently I stayed with my aunt and she keeps herself busy and shes on her own in a big house, so I have learnt to do more things during the day because I'm not working at the moment and before my holiday I struggled to keep ocupied in the evenings, so I have just recently renewed my gym mebership, and this has kept me occupied near the evenings plus I would still like to tone up a bit, I am also going to do a floristry course in sept, and my medication has been reduced :)

    sorry for waffeling but I think overall it was the change of lifestyle that effected my weight and of course the medication.
     
  17. Spannerwanner

    Spannerwanner technologically ignorant

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    This is a great idea and it's really interesting to read other people's stories.

    I was a perfectly normal size until I was nine or ten and then I started to put on weight. Like others in this thread I remember the puppy fat comments, mostly from my grandmother who I look exactly like and was a hugely overweight diabetic so she may just have been trying to convince herself.

    In teenage I became a really serious compulsive eater. I used to steel money from my Mum to buy food and nick cake decorations from the cupboard. Sometimes I would go down to the kitchen in the middle of the night and mix up a big bowl of rice krispies, golden syrup and coco as if I was going to make rice krispie cakes but then I'd just eat the whole bowl with a wooden spoon. I kept my weight to overweight rather than obese because I did lots of sports.

    At university I gave up the sports, discovered alcohol and of course got my own bank account (no more nicking money) and it all just went downhill from there.

    The interesting question is why did I become a compulsive eater. I had a very happy childhood and a remarkably angst-free teenage. I did well at school, had lots of friends and got on with my parents. Whilst I have had bouts of depression as an adult I never had any problems like that as a child or teenager. Having thought about this a lot I've come to the conclusion that it's down to my personality. I have always wanted to do everything, try everything, be part of everything - I can't bear to be left out. With food therefore I always want to eat it if it's there. Somehow this morphed into seeking out the food to stuff in my face, especially if it was something I hadn't tried before. Another aspect of my personality is that I don't tend to think before acting so the food is inside me before I've had a chance to wonder whether I really want it or not.

    Now I'm older I am a lot more restrained and I've moderated a lot of my behaviour but I am left with the residue - namely a lot of fat to get rid of.

    By the way - how do you thank people? I can't work it out.
     
  18. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    I had a happy enough childhood, but my teens were a bit rocky, my mum was menopausal and part of it seamed to cause her to not want me to grow up which caused lots of arguments between us. i remember feeling like i couldnt do anything that pleased her. one of her nicknames for me was 'thunderthighs' and until then i dont recall having any issues with my body, i was never in with the in crowd at school and hated sports, felt a bit ungamely but it didnt REALLY bother me.

    Think my real problems started when i left school and started work. it was a combination of things-having my own money, and starting to go to the pub socially with colleagues. There was also the office thing of sweets,chocolate and pop during the working day.it felt quite good to be in control of something myself (even tho i still ahd to be home by 10!!).
    The other factor was that this was the time when i first became aware of 'dieting' a few of the grils i worked with were doing it and it seemd the in thing to do. I guess there is were i started the cycle of yo-yo dieting and ever since every time i diet i put it back on , and then some!! I'm sure this isnt a new theory to many people.
    In my late 20's i got married and left home-once again i had new cotnrol over my life, but we split up after a year due to his infidelity. Once again here i was feeling like i hadne been up to scratch or this wouldnt have happened. I had no money to go out and had lost touch with many of my friends so my friends became takeaways and booze i drank quite heavily for a while-probably boarderline alcoholic, and my mum was always happy to by me some wine etc if i couldnt afford it cos she felt sorry for me. i guess this was all part of her bieng in control again.
    So here i am. I wouldnt like anyone to think that i blame my mum, but i think she's played a tpart, wether she knew what she was doing or not. We have an ok relationship now, but if she upsets me in anyway i can eat the entire contents of the fridge, in anger.so there's still a connection there.
    I'm remarried now to a wonderful chap and have 2 gorgeous daughters, but i still have food issues and am still working on having the a healthy relationship with food or the body i want. I guess i will get there one day
     
  19. Konvictz

    Konvictz Full Member

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    depression and weight gain seem to be a very directly correlated trend.

    ive always eaten alot, but probably just put on weight recently because of lack of activity.

    but i cant say ive ever been depressed. have never been jelous of other people's materialistic items. ive only ever liked 3 girls in my entire life. 2 have liked me back, but are in the past now sort of. and the 3rd one is at the moment, we go out and stuff but its a lil complicated lol...

    i think people should try to be happy as much as they can. ive never been through a divorce or a break up, so i cant really understand the mental well being. but i found that 2 things for me are very good at keeping me happy and positive. i have alot of friends, but am only close with just a tiny few, but being around friends keeps you positive. and secondly exercise...exercise makes me feel amazing afterwards, i think maybe because the body releases endorphins naturally...

    mayb im just a positive person...my friends like to insult me about my fat, and i join in with them and insult me lol...i know some people hate being called fat, i dunno...
     
  20. Gromskar

    Gromskar Member

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    Aw, some of these stories here really hit home for me. The depression, comfort eating, even just stopping certain activities.

    The reason I gained weight was because my dad died when I was 14, I was big then, but I used to martial arts with my dad which was helping me keep my weight down along with cycling to school. After my dad passed away, I took solace in food, and rejected everything we did together as i was scared of them, sports, martial arts ect. As I knew they would not be the same without him. I started eating for comfort, I too used to sneak down in the night and steal food from the fridge and buy sweets on the way too school. Hell, I used to get a packed lunch from my mum, and I would still buy food cooked in the cafeteria eat that plus my lunch, or get a kebab on the way home and hide the rubbish in a neighbours bin. The weight piled on, this persisted for like 6 or 7 years until, my friends and my family ,hell, my friends are my family, all told me they were worried that I was hurting myself by excessive eating and that I may be damaging myself psychologically. So I buckled down and realised, that for once it is about me and looking after myself, but it is also for the people I care about.

    So, to sum it up, I now understand that food is NOT for comfort.
     
  21. Abiphoto

    Abiphoto Pink Lady

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    i was fine up till the age of 13, and i started binge-ing on packets of donuts and crisps. there was no real "reason" for it, my mum had a breakdown and my home life was a little upset for a while, but nothing major.... i just learnt all these bad habits, my mum has bad habits so everynight i was cooking chips and things for the family.... since i was 15 ive tried diet clubs and such, most ive ever lost is 9lbs, (ive lost more on my own!) but now im 22 and still battling on, now its alcohol which is another badness!!! eeek, but im feeling like this is the time now for me to lose it once and for all...and ive discovered exercise!

    :)
     
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