Whoopee!

[weevikki]

Lost 5lbs this week so that makes me 2 days short of 4 weeks and that's me 1.5 St lighter and I've still got 2 weeks til my ski trip. Can I make it to 2 St by then? Watch this space! I feel an idiot at weigh in today. We were meant to he speaking about achievements and I burst into tears! Not like me at all but it all came out that if I'm not slim then any achievement means nothing. All to do with my mums constant commentary about weight gain/loss. Her not liking LL plus always saying to me "now do you really need that" when I eat. I didn't quite realise how much this upsets me and how my self esteem is in my boots. Well I've decided that she's not mean she doesn't realise the hurt and dysfunction she's causing and I'm going to talk to her. I'm going to tell her my weight is a topic of conversation that is off limits whether I'm slim, fat or inbetween. It's not a nice feeling when you think your mum only loves the thin daughter and is disgusted by the fat one. X

 

[Schnookyandclive]

Well done you! It is so achievable and u will look fab for your trip. I burst into tears in week one and I never cry. It's our exposed raw emotions coming put without food to mask it.

Be strong with your mum. It's very common to have maternal issues at the heart of an eating addiction. I had a huge fallout with my mum when I did this the first time because I told her what her attitude has done to me' in part. We are now so amazing together. It wasn't easy but it needed said. Big hugs xxx

 

[weevikki]

Cheers. I'm sure I'll get a few home truths back at me when I have the chat. I think I've prob been quite dismissive of her and her thoughts on other subjects as I've been quite dismissive when my weight comes up in conversation and it's now a habit when she speaks. I know that she feels I don't take her seriously but maybe if I help her understand that it's a self defence tactic that's gone wrong! What annoys me the most is that her absolute distain for fat people has rubbed off on me. When she comments on others in the street, on tv etc. I think that is what she thinks of me. I now think if I'm overweight I don't deserve anybodies time of day cos I'm not worthy. When I think of how I feel that's a crock of *****. Just because I have weight issues doesn't invalidate me as a person or it shouldn't. I have to have a good talking-to myself to I think! X

 

[Schnookyandclive]

This is what I love about ll. It makes us how crooked our thinking becomes. I had a proper chat with hubby about his fatist attitudes cos they were rubbing off on me'. I may be happier being slimmer but I'm still me'. Stick to your guns and keep telling yourself you deserve to be you xxxx

 

[Silkybaby]

I know exactly how you feel! I have a very love hate relationship with my mother and I feel she's responsible for all my many hang-ups! She's always had a weight problem herself and I think she pushes all her anxieties on to me! She has made me so insecure about my weight, looks, career, marriage and how I raise my children that one week with her makes me feel completely inadequate. One of the best examples of this was when I was pregnant with my first child. I suffered from really low blood sugar so had to eat regularly and often but I ended up having to go into hospital when I stayed with her one weekend as I fainted because I was too frightened to eat anything in front of her. She had been going on about how much fatter I would be after the baby was born and would never lose it!!
Luckily I have an amazing husband and friends to conteract all this negativity.
Keep going, it will be so worth it!!

 

[weevikki]

I know mothers can't live with them can't live without them. Not good if u were ill trying not to disappoint her! My mum has never had a weight issue. At her biggest she was a size 10. She's currently a 6-8 as Now my dads dead she says she eats to live and is not like me. I live to eat. I own a restaurant my hubby is a chef. My life is food so I normally pile on lbs when I am out socialising with our foodie mates and colleagues. I see thinks I want to try and never ever take the healthy option. I know I have to change but I don't need her to tell me.

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Weevikki
I think your Mum and mine must be clones. I could have written that when I started LL.
I used to think it was my mum's fault that I had a weight issue

True, she is very judgemental about fat people and I think I made myself fat almost to challenge whether she'd still love me if I was big!
She's very slim, always been careful about her weight. I was always the "big one with the pretty face" grrrrrrr in my family.
I did have to speak to her too. It wasn't as bad as I expected.
I also had to realise that if I had trouble changing my own behaviour it was very unlikely I'd have ANY influence on hers!
So, we now have a better understanding of each other and a happier relationship.
I realise I am the only one responsible for me and what I put in my mouth, despite how other people may make me feel.
So good luck speaking to your Mum. I hope it works for you. xx
p.s. Great congratulations on your weight loss.

 

[weevikki]

Cheers slenda. I've decided that I'm going to put off speaking with her about her comments on my weight until she does it again. We will see how long she lasts!

 

[Pearl77]

Omg!!!! I'm not the only one!! My mum is tiny always has been, she's a 6 on the bottom 8 on the top, she takes 5 spinning classes per week, and runs 5 mile a day, she hates the fact that her two only daughters have weight problems, the last time I lost weight it was great, it was the first time she'd ever go out and treat me to clothes, I even had some of her hand me downs. She's v trendy my mum! But she keeps on saying 'I just don't know why your like this' 'I didn't bring you up to eat like this' she was so dissapointed when I put weight on that I avoided seeing her for months. Well she's very happy now that I'm back on LL! Wants me to join the gym with her too

Sent from my iPhone using minimins

 

[weevikki]

It's very difficult but at least she seems supportive of LL. My mum keeps saying you can't live your life like this etc etc. If it were only that easy! X

 

[Pearl77]

Yes she is supportive, only because she wants me to be slim though! She'd be supportive of anything I do to get slim!!! Apart from ghastric bypass she was very against that idea!