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Who's the better person?

KD

Gone fishing
#1
I hate the word ‘cheating’, but I’ll use that for want of a better word.

Is a person who cheats, better than a person who doesn’t? Nah. Neither is the better person the one that goes through the diet without cheating. They are both equal when it comes to their aims and what they want from the diet. You can chose your idea of a good person based on many other things, but not on how they do their diet. That’s their personal choice.

Imagine this scenario. Janet and William both want to go from Scotland to Bournemouth. William can’t wait to get there. He’s been promised a huge celebration on his arrival, and he wants to get there as quick as possible.

Janet also wants to get there and will also get that huge celebration on arrival but she would really like to visit some family on the way. She loves Aunt Mavis. She is happy to make the journey longer, because she really wants to see her.

There are risks though. She might plan for a 20 minute stay, but she knows that other members of the family might pop in, and the visit could be much longer. She has to make a decision. Is it worth it to her? Does she actually want to stay longer and see them all, or does she want to get to Bournemouth as soon as possible (like William).

Either way, doesn’t make her good or bad. She needs to make that decision, aware of the consequences and decide on what she really wants the most. A speedy arrival, or a later one. She could consider leaving off the visit and making a phone call to Aunt Mavis when she arrives in Scotland but she might not want to. It’s her choice.

As long as she is aware of the alternatives, and bases her choice on what she really wants, with no regrets, then she’s a winner.

Same goes for William. If he really and truly wants to get to Bournemouth more than visit his Aunt Ethel, then not stopping off is a better choice for him. Either way doesn’t make one person better than the other.

I think that as long as everyone weighs up the pros and cons, can tackle the consequences (longer stay at Aunt Mavis’s or no chance for stopping for some relief from the journey) then both parties should be happy with their personal choice.

It’s the same with this diet. We are all individual. We have different dreams and needs. We are at different stages in our lives and what might seem easy at one time might feel incredibly difficult at another.

We have different pressures. We hate and love different things. Sometimes it’s important for us to get to places quickly, sometimes it doesn’t matter so much. Others things are more ‘pressing’.

Of course, it’s great when people give suggestions on how to make that journey quicker without too much compromise ie phoning Aunt Mavis on arrival, rather than stopping on the way. Or reminding people that the visit may take longer than expected, and to be warned, so they can then weigh up the options.

Whichever way you decide to do your journey is fine, as along as you are aware of the choices and accept the consequences. No beatings up allowed, because after all, you’ve made that decision based on what you really want and what you want might be a completely different thing to the next person.

So, map your journey. Know your choices; think through alternate options and what you really want. Then be happy with your decision, because you’ve made the right one for you, just as William made the right one for him. As along as your decision isn’t one that you may regret long term.

Personally, it makes no odds to me what way people come. Just that I would like to see them have a safe and happy journey, and arrive at some point because it’s fab here
 
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#2
What a wonderful way at looking at it. I agree, that life does sometimes get in the way, and some weeks are slower than others, but I don't beat myself up about it or fall off the wagon, I just accept a slightly later arrival at my destination and get on with it. You can't make the train go any faster just because you are late, and the last thing you want to do is get off the train as nothing else is going to get you there faster!
Thanks again KD.
 
#6
great read. i agree - each to their own. no one comes on here for a slating and everyone is on their own journey!
 
#10
I think that being aware of the consequenses of our actions is the biggest lesson I have learned on my CD journey thus far.. and this is magic, puts it in black and white for me... Thanks KD xxx
 
#12
Love it KD!! I think I've stopped off to visit too many Auntie Mavis's and Iris's and took the wrong road a couple of times so had to double back to get onto the motorway!! But the signs for Bournemouth are visible now so I know I'm nearly there!!

:D :D :D xxx
 

KD

Gone fishing
#14
Can I use that when I become a CDC? It's genius!:clap:
Of course mate :)

Love it KD!! I think I've stopped off to visit too many Auntie Mavis's and Iris's and took the wrong road a couple of times so had to double back to get onto the motorway!! But the signs for Bournemouth are visible now so I know I'm nearly there!!

:D :D :D xxx
Excellent! Long journey's can be a problem. You come out of Aunt Mavis's house and take a wrong turning and the car finds itself going towards Scotland again.

Of course, the sat nav is saying "Turn around when possible" (if you have a tomtom that is :D), but the radio is on too high and you don't hear. Or you get to that junction and it looks to difficult to get around, so you decide to keep going and see if the next junction looks easier.

But it often isn't, and on getting back to Scotland, you wonder how on earth that happened.:confused: ;) (Not you in particular wannab:D)

OMG...How does one woman get to be so wise!!!
Wisdome is scar tissue in disguise Susan :(
 

KD

Gone fishing
#16
Poor KD :hug99:You got there in the end and that's what counts. Hope that helping people so much, the way you do, helps your scars to heal too.
Thankyou Frances. Too many scars still, as I didn't just stop off at Aunt Mavis's, I travelled the world:rolleyes:

Healing nicely now though:cool:
 
#18
Amazing KD

I am about to set off on my journey from Scotland and now thanks to you I know I have made the right choice. I spent a long time weighing up the pro`s and con`s of CD v LL and chose CD but was still worried that I had made the right choice but I now know that I have and will not beat myself up or spend any time thinking if I made the right choice.
So thanks again o wise one.
 

Lostris

Serena's title didn't fit
#19
Hi,

I really don't think anyone should think of themselves as a better person than another. Each and every person is different and they all do what's best for them... Though, non-diet and non-nice-person-wise I can really list some people I'm way better than >_<

Lovely post KD,

xxx Lostris
 
#20
Hey KD - I too loved your analogy, because it has reinforced how I am coping with CD. I decided before I even started that I would not beat myself up if I ate something I shouldn't, but would just enjoy it at the time and get straight back on the plan. I mapped out all the special days up to Xmas, which include two birthday parties, a Ball and hubby's 40th birthday bash and decided I would come off CD for those special days and then get straight back on. For the first time ever I have no guilt about eating and having those small breaks to look forward to means I am sticking to the diet like never before. Despite having all those non-CD days and eating and drinking whatever I wanted, I have still never had a gain - so it's working for me. I am now convinced that it is the negative feelings of guilt when cheating on diets before that led to me breaking the diet completely. I am also going to have a planned week off for Xmas and New Year, in the knowledge that I will be able to lose the weight again quickly.

Thank you so much for your eloquent post.

Started 07.10.08
14.10.08 - 10lbs loss
21.10.08 - 4 lbs loss
28.10.08 - 4 lbs loss
04.11.08 - no weigh in - planned week off
11.11.08 - 3 lbs loss
18.11.08 - 5 lbs loss
 


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