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Why didn't anyone say something to me?

I don't know whether I feel angry, upset, or just stupid.

I know I am not skinny, but my God I have never actually realised that the amount of weight I have gained is huge. You must think I am crazy, but I am being 110% honest. I have never thought that I am huge. I always thought "hey u've gained some weight and u need to lose it so that u look pretty again" but never in a million years did I think the way other people see me: i.e. "she's become huge". What angers me is that no one has actually said something to me, i.e friends family. The only person that actually said something to me was my sister, and I didn't really take much notice whenever she would say i got huge etc, because she is a health freak and is known for her strict and healthy eating.

Anyway, I'm just amazed that I never looked at myself the way ppl see me. Yes I look in the mirror everyday but because I do that I can't see the change in myself THAT OTHER PPL DO NOTICE!

does anyone understand what I'm saying?

I actually asked someone the question: From when u've first met me 4 years ago, until now, do you see a big change in me weight wise? And I want you to be honest please. And the person said to me, I didnt want to upset you, but you have have gained an extreme amount of weight.

This is the point that my brain actually registered how bad my weight gain is. But I can't help but think why no one has ever said anything to me? It's not 1 or 2 kg that I gained, it's 22 kg. and I don't understand why when I look in the mirror i just see someone who has gained a few pounds :confused::confused::confused::confused:
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S: 11st2lb C: 11st2lb G: 9st12lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
I totally understand what u are trying to say...

When I started putting on weight, 1-2 ppl did tell me...I took it easy...i was perhaps living in denial.....


Silver Member
S: 15st2lb G: 9st11lb
I know exactly what you mean. Friends and family have not told me that I was putting weight on. However, my mum has told me over the years that I was putting weight on. But because it was my mum, never took much notice - she's big and I am the spit of her, so thought nothing of it. The problem is though, if others had told me, I would have been devastated and would probably have comfort ate! So I guess I'm a little bit pleased that no-one had really told me, as I think I would have been depressed and bigger than I was before my Go Lower diet!

My OH now tells me if I've put weight on and now when I'm loosing it, but that is because I've asked him too....otherwise I know he doesn't want to upset me!

I guess basically people don't want to upset us - what ever they do it's wrong! After all, you said your sister told you but you never listened (as I didn't with my mum) because she's so healthy conscience etc, but maybe you just didn't want to listen! I didn't want to listen to my mum and now I'm loosing because I feel that I have to, not because someone told me they thought/think I'm fat.

Good luck spongebobb.



Full Member
S: 19st7lb C: 18st12lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 36.8 Loss: 0st9lb(3.3%)
it's a difficult thing to say to a person that they are putting on weight:) what i would say is that go to a doctor and you'll have no more of that beating round the bush, they'll just come out with it even if you need to lose weight or not they'll probably say you do!!


Full Member
S: 13st4lb C: 10st6lb G: 8st0lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 2st12lb(21.51%)
I know what you mean.
I think because I've put on the weight fairly slowly, I perhaps haven't noticed as much as I should have.
But then occasionally I'll see myself from a different angle in a mirror, and be absolutely horrified.
I FEEL exactly the same!!
i was in the same situation as u girl, so dont worry, you've got time.

i think i gained 60 pounds, about 27 kg for the past 4 years. No one actually told me i was fat, my frds all say i look okay or even skinny, my bmi was freaking 31. I didnt realize that until i met my old friends back at home, they were shocked, from their facial expressions i knew i have to do something. So to cheer u up, i just wanna let you know i lost 40 pounds since january, and right now i am having a bmi of 24 ( i know bmi is not the best judgement).
i dun exactly know how i feel just like u, whether it is angry or what, all i know is people in the usa is really unhealthy and most of them are overweight that makes it possible that they didnt really feel i was fat!


Bring On The New Me!
S: 14st4lb C: 14st4lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 36.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Totally agree! Worst thing is when they say you look fab when in actual fact you feel awful and maybe look it too! x


Silver Member
S: 21st6lb C: 21st6lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 41.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Fair's fair, your sister did tell you. You just didn't listen :)

It's nobody's fault. But now you know, lose that weight! You can do it!