Why do I sabotage the best diet I have ever done??

[Bagpuss]

Dear girls - haven't much to add to this thread except sympathy, and recognition. I'm 2.4 lb from goal and also struggling mentally and physically to stay focused, and stop messing around. I've found all the posts here familiar, and very helpful and last night I

1/ wrote a long blog and food diary for the first time in ages. It really helped!

2/ had a think about the need to re-assess targets and the 'point' of doing this. The post about that was spot on - I hadn't realised that I'd basically lost any sense of WHY I'm doing this, and what life beyond the diet is going to mean. So that was very helpful, too.

Feel more focused today and less of a weirdo, too, and I hope everyone else who posted on this thread has taken something positive too ... if only to know we're not alone in this weird, almost at the end stage when every food demon you've ever had seems determined to pop in and say hello!

"We shall overcome..."

See you at the finish line

Bagpuss xx

 

[westiegirl]

Sarah

You sound like my cosmic twin lol (even in name!!!!!) Last year I ate nothing from 29th Jan until 17th Aug (my birthday) and have struggled since then.

I had almost reached goal at that point (bar about 7lbs) but then things just went haywire for me too. Thing is that I've never got back on track, it's been a full year of struggle but I am determined to not let it beat me.

All I can say is well done on where you have got to so far but if there is any way at all that you can, just knock this on the head now, because the last year has been one full of regret for me. I know how much harder it is said than done but I really wouldn't like you to be in my position in the future.

Sending you lots more hugs xxx

 

[Gilly28]

Hi - Im not expert 0 but do you think this has something to do with reward?

Something deep inside us from childhood (sorry to use this one again) we done something good and was rewarded or anything that had emotion to it.

I have been here many time binging - yo yo diteing and at one point many years ago nearly got to goal with WW - this was 30years ago..at this point I was looking good getting lots of attention which was fab (as a youngster out in discos etc) and I was asked out for meal and then thinking I can handle this but didnt really get to know the knack of control.

Thinking like a slim person - saying no cos we DONT ACTUALLY WANT IT...how many times have you asked for diet drink and benn asked - 'on a diet?' er no I actually like Diet coke....bla bla...

Going back to the conditioning of earlier, thats our crux...understanding thats emotional blackmail....

For me personally I need to find this too...and understand it and find the deamon!!

Anyway enough of my rambling - does anyone get my drift?

 

[doodles]

Westie that is unbelieveable, I hope it doesn't take me a year to get my head around it though. I have managed to ss today just hope I can keep it up. I have kept popping into here to keep me focused.

Good luck to you for getting back into it. I hope it finally clicks for you. It does seem to get harder with every setback. We can do this (feeling much perkier today...lol)

Thanks for your support Sarah x

 

[kurious_oranj]

does anyone get my drift?

I think so. Have you had a look at Karion's blog/thread/diary? It is very interesting and she has a lot of wise words about the relationship between emotion and food.
If I've done it right this should be the link -
http://www.minimins.com/members-only-diaries/20603-karion-rambles-no-2-food-addiction-peptides.html
Hmm, that dunt look quite right...
k_o

 

[kurious_oranj]

Oh, I think it was right after all
and this is the link to her other thread
http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-diet-forum/16588-new-me-new-diary-maintenance-begins-13.html

 

[KD]

:clap: Nice to know some found it useful. The main one is in the members area at the moment, so doodles won't be able to see it. I'll take it out though if it might help.

The 2nd link isn't my thread, it's traceys, but it is a precursor to my AD thread.

 

[westiegirl]

Westie that is unbelieveable, I hope it doesn't take me a year to get my head around it though. I have managed to ss today just hope I can keep it up. I have kept popping into here to keep me focused.

Good luck to you for getting back into it. I hope it finally clicks for you. It does seem to get harder with every setback. We can do this (feeling much perkier today...lol)

Thanks for your support Sarah x

So far so good this week, except my disasterous attempt at 790 on Wednesday, which lead me to binge on chicken pieces lol!

Back on SS again so this week I've SSed on Tuesday, Thursday and today and only had protein on Wednesday.

I didn't mean for it to sound negative that it's taken me a year of pain to get to this point but I just wanted you to not suffer like I have for no reason! I believe in you, and I now believe in myself!

We can do it!

 

[KD]

I've moved it from the members area (need 50 posts to read), to the maintenance diary
http://www.minimins.com/maintenance-diary/20603-karion-rambles-no-2-food-addiction-peptides.html

Please excuse the wafflings and rants about other methods mixed in there

 

[Gilly28]

Thanks I have bookmarked this link -

 

[Heaven can wait]

Hi

I can totally identify with this, I read it and thought , thats me! I feel completely lost at times, wanting to SS to 'finish off properly' and then start re- feeding gradually, but then life gets in the way, a holiday, a party etc. and I give in to pressure to live a little because Ss ing since March has left me much slimmer, but longing to be like other slim people , who eat and live and stay slim. I seem to be surrounded by people who think I should just be normal again now, and then by others at home who seem to question everything I eat with that 'should you be having that?' lookand it makes me so mad I want to scream 'Yes , I bloody can have it ! whats it got to do with you anyway !'
Am I going to have to live like this forever, not a fully paid up 'real slim , normal person', but rather like a reformed alcoholic being watched for signs of relapse, just becuase I was once Obese?
I think that worries like this are behind my binge and self sabbotage, I guess I just dont feel real at this weight and size, like a fraud , a fundamentally fat person pretending to be slim and deserving of the respect that I now get that I didnt when I was morbidly obese.
I know I have not got rid of my food demons and behavior yet and have the biggest challenge still to come, ... staying slim, and quite frankly it scares the hell out me!

 

[paula 36]

i think i wrote that xx