why do so called friends want to ruin my diet

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by hutchi, 9 April 2008 Social URL.

  1. hutchi

    hutchi Member

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    as you probably know i have loooooaaaaads to lose, started c.d. on the 10th of march, lost about 21 lbs so far(would of been more, but at times i cheated, and had days i didnt drink any water). now i am focused after losing 7lbs this week(happy happy happy). problem is, i have a few friends(so called) who are fairly big, but not anywhere near my size. when i said i was starting this diet, they rubbished it too death,went to pick my kiddies up from school, and someone i had not seen for a while noticed that my skin was a little clearer(although dry round my chin)and that my belly was not sticking out as much.to cut a long story short my 'friends' happened to be passing by my house and stopped off for a coffee,but they both had bags full of goodies(or baddies) crisps, biscuits, cakes,kfc etc etc which they kept on and on offering me. i refused but was met by how i think i am too good to eat with them now, and how i already have an 'ex-fat persons attitude', why on earth are they being like this? they kept going on about me and my posh diet and how i must of won the lottery... having had a baby 5 months ago, i am still a little hormonal and their comments really hurt... did any one else get negative comments for simply wanting to lose weight?:cry:
     
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  3. SO MUCH TO LOSE!

    SO MUCH TO LOSE! Must do it this time

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    firsly like you are going to do with your weight,i`d lose your"so called friends".to me sounds like they are jealous and don`t want you to change,or maybe they are afraid that you will change when you do lose weight,either way they are being very bitchy to youand not supportive at all.i have only started cd on monday and i don`t think i could do it without support.they should be happy with whatever you want to do and makes you happy.this is the best site to be on for support no matter when you need it,there`s always someone to talk to.stick with it,the hardest decision was starting so be proud of yourself for that alone.elaine
     
  4. Chika

    Chika Silver Member

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    Hi there. Your friends probably just feel a little threatened. If they are overweight then they may be feeling a little jealous of your determination and the fact that you are doing someing to get fit and fabulous. If they are skinny then perhaps they are also feeling threatened.

    I've had a few comments and although it is easier said than done just chill out and ignore them. Good luck with your diet hon.
     
  5. Nat

    Nat Full Member

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    oh hutchi im so sorry to hear this, although i think it is very common, not that ive experienced it myself but my cdc has told me that she went through the same when she was losing her weight and for me not to be surprised if my "bigger" friends act in this way. I'm afraid to say that it is jealousy, they are jealous that you are strong willed enough to do something about your weight and probably jealous that soon enough you will be looking better than them and that will put them out of their comfort zone. i am sure they don't really mean to be so hurtful, the best thing you can do is just keep saying no thanks to their treats and they will soon get fed up.

    keep your chin up, you are doing really well and you are doing this for you not them or anyone else, so keep remembering that.

    lots of luck
     
  6. BellyFlop

    BellyFlop Silver Member

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    My first post!

    Be strong, and think of you and only you!

    I am awaiting approval for LipoTrim and until then I am following a low fat healthy eating plan, I haven't told anybody apart from my Hubby, as I also have experienced the 'friends' who try to spoil your efforts with 'just one little treat'....

    Tell them you are doing CD no matter what they say and that while you have no problem with them eating, that you have a problem with yourself doing so!

    Best Of Luck!:)
     
  7. scorpio dawny

    scorpio dawny keeps on trying

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    They are not true friends if they were they would be happy for you, even if they didn't like the diet. you are doing so well and they can see this and sound jealous.well done for not having their junk food and good luck with cd.
     
  8. hotstuff

    hotstuff Full Member

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    I'm so sorry other people are trying to bring you down and as the others say I can only echo their sentiments that your "friends" feel threatened. They possibly see you as an equal as you all are now and if they are not quite as big as you then they probably feel very secure in themselves in your company. If that changes they will not have that comfort zone and this worries them.

    I have to say others have commented on my skin being clearer I think it's all the water! No-one has really noticed the weight loss yet but I could probably drop 4 stone before it will be a major difference.

    My own friends and family have been very supportive and for that I am eternally grateful but I do still get the odd jibe when they are planning celebration meals out to the tune of "I suppose you won't be eating by then" but I know what they mean and that there is no malice intended. I just tell them that it is only a temporary measure and that I will celebrate with them very soon when I have reached my goal and that the sooner I get on with it, the sooner I will be able to join them for meals out etc.

    You can do this, you are determined and have made the hardest part, the idea to start and sticking to the first whole etc. Keep it up!
     
  9. ast

    ast Full Member

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    I agree that they probably feel threatened by you losing weight.
    They could also feel that you are not that much heaver than them and if you feel the need to lose weight where does that leave them? I have a friend who is like this, it is really strange as I am a size 20 and she is a 12 :confused:.
    Well done to you for sticking to it!
     
  10. hutchi

    hutchi Member

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    :happy096: your all right! thank you for your replies, i feel so much better now. i guess its just jealousy that i am finally doing something to improve my looks, health, etc and they have not got the will power, i know they are not happy with their sizes either, we had all sat and moaned about it together in the past(while eating pizza).they may just be worried that i will no longer be the fattest person they know, and that the fattest person will soon be one of them.... by the way do people really become 'fat people haters' when they lose a lot of weight! i hope when i lose my weight that i don't become like that( did you notice i said WHEN not IF) i guess all your comments has made me positive:p thank you all again.
     
  11. Yuna

    Yuna Let’s do this!! d(*.*)b

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    I agree with what everyone said, they are just feeling threatened and the fact that you are doing something positive about your weight it is making them think about their own weight issues which could be making them all defensive.

    I think some people like to see you fail because then you prove that it doesn't work and then they don't have to try. That's what it feels like to me sometimes anyway. They ignore how well you look/feel and just focus on the negative-that you can't eat. I just tell them that the food/drink will still be there when I finish CD.

    Keep positive, and there's always plenty of support on minis.:)
     
  12. Mrs B

    Mrs B Silver Member

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    Hi Hutchi, sorry your friends aren't being supportive just now. Like everyone else I think the are afraid. Could you maybe have a chat with them and explain exactly how you are feeling etc.

    I don't think people who have slimmed down do become anti-fat. If you look on this forum there are loads of people who are close to or have reached goal and they are still around giving great support and advice to the rest of us.
     
  13. Mary Poppins

    Mary Poppins Gold Member

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    I always feel really sad when I hear stories of "friends" being like this.
    All my friends have been really supportive...some raised their eyebrows slightly before I went on the diet about the health issues surrounding losing so much weight so quickly...but once I'd explained the diet they were all aboard.
    Nowthey are all thrilled for me!Hopefully once you have lost your weight and your friends see how happy you are...they will be pleased for you...if not...then I'm afraid they don't seem like friends to me
     
  14. letmeout

    letmeout Silver Member

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    You just stick to your guns hun!!
     
  15. Hedgehog

    Hedgehog Gold Member

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    Aside from their horrible comments to bring around food and not just biscuits but kfc wafting around the place hoping it would entice you must have had resolve of steal to turn it down so a huge well done.

    I think you are right apart from the jealousy they are probably terrified that when you succeed at this diet they will be the biggest people they know and that no doubt will have to make them look at themselves

    Wouldnt it be great if they see how well you are doing on the diet and feel that it is worth the efforts

    You're doing great, dont let them drag you down
     
  16. BIG BIRDY

    BIG BIRDY Silver Member

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    Stick to your guns and your goals. You're doing this for YOU!
     
  17. brummiebird

    brummiebird Full Member

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    I've had great support from most of my friends and family. Although a when asked what weight I'd like to get down to, a couple of people have said "oh, that won't suit you" or "you'll be too thin then".

    Ignore all the negative comments, remember that when you reach your goal you'll be getting lots of lovely comments!
     
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  19. cassiopeia

    cassiopeia Full Member

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    Oh you poor thing! As everybody before me has said, they are spitting the dummy because you're doing something that they are scared they will never achieve themselves. Hopefully if you stick to your guns and show them that they can't turn you back into the person you've always been, it won't be long before they adjust to the changes you are making and you can all be friends again! I'm really at a loss for an appropriate way for you to respond to their behaviour though. Should you be firm with them about the support you expect, or should you ignore their behaviour and bombard them with compliments to try and make them feel secure? I've no idea, but good luck! Sit it out long enough and they'll either learn to deal with it or b*gger off. And come and talk to us instead whenever it's all too much! X
     
  20. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    one word hutchi there just jealous. well done you for doing something about your weight. I have one friend in particular and i know if she knew i was on this diet would rubbish it and bring me all sorts of junk to try and get me to eat it. You def dont need friends like them, nor do you need there attitiude. I would tell them straight and say look why are you doing this? you know im trying to lose weight please stop bringing me food etc

    Bes to luck with cd, sounds like your doing great pet.

    Becky xxx
     
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