bekimo
Fighting Demons....
Ok, after last week and it's horrible lapsiness. I have decided in order to prevent my sabotaging myself again I am writing a list of all of the consequences of said lapse!
1. I feel sick. I mean honestly, I think I am going to be physically ill. My stomach hates me right now and is in the midst of an almighty tantrum the likes of which right at this moments seems like a heavy duty spin cycle. It not fun.
2. Increased hunger pangs. Not only am I contantly hungry now, the hunger is starting to feel like an actual pain. You know that feeling when you hadn't eaten in like a whole day and you were so hungry is hurt? Well it's constant, and mixed in with the sickness that I am experiencing from the bad food that I ate (see point 1), oh god it is soooo not pleasant.
3. Gas! Ok, it's not pleasant and it may be too much information. But burping. OMG! It is not in the slightest bit lady like and just disgusting!! Shows how much gas I have in my tummy obviously!! For future reference (ie: in rtm and after), I am soooo staying off the fizzy pop. It is EVIL!
4. Gallstones. I suffer from gall stones and although I do seem to have learned from the last time round that STEAK IS BAD, and I haven't had an attack this time. I am adding it in here because i know that it was starting to grumble before I STOPPED! Gallstone attacks are horrible and are not worth it! If nothing else, I should not go off on a binge because everytime I do, I risk kicking that off. And that's just irresponsible. I could DIE! And it bloody well feels like it to. Worst pain imaginable.
5. Weight Gain! And here is the most important consequence of all. Since September up until the start of December, I had no problems. I stuck to the plan and I lost a lot of weight. Since Chrismas however, I have probably lost a total of half a stone. And I've gained weight 3 times! It feels horrible knowing where I could be know. I could quite easily have lost another stone and a half by now!
I owe it to myself to stop this self destructive pattern. What do I get from it in the end? That few seconds pleasure of eating whatever it was. It just isn't worth all of this pain I'm in now. Emotional and physical!
Oh, last one. . . .
6. Cost! I pay my councellor £66 per week. If I then chose to go off and pig out, I am then spending more money on food only for that initial £66 to go to waste. I can hardly afford to continue that. I have bills to pay and tickets to buy!! And what is more important? Food that will eventually make me feel sick and cause me to gain weight, or festival tickets? No contest!!
If anyone has been having some issues with lapsing and has anymore to add, feel free. I need all the help I can get.
Goal one. Get to Monday without another lapse!
B x
1. I feel sick. I mean honestly, I think I am going to be physically ill. My stomach hates me right now and is in the midst of an almighty tantrum the likes of which right at this moments seems like a heavy duty spin cycle. It not fun.
2. Increased hunger pangs. Not only am I contantly hungry now, the hunger is starting to feel like an actual pain. You know that feeling when you hadn't eaten in like a whole day and you were so hungry is hurt? Well it's constant, and mixed in with the sickness that I am experiencing from the bad food that I ate (see point 1), oh god it is soooo not pleasant.
3. Gas! Ok, it's not pleasant and it may be too much information. But burping. OMG! It is not in the slightest bit lady like and just disgusting!! Shows how much gas I have in my tummy obviously!! For future reference (ie: in rtm and after), I am soooo staying off the fizzy pop. It is EVIL!
4. Gallstones. I suffer from gall stones and although I do seem to have learned from the last time round that STEAK IS BAD, and I haven't had an attack this time. I am adding it in here because i know that it was starting to grumble before I STOPPED! Gallstone attacks are horrible and are not worth it! If nothing else, I should not go off on a binge because everytime I do, I risk kicking that off. And that's just irresponsible. I could DIE! And it bloody well feels like it to. Worst pain imaginable.
5. Weight Gain! And here is the most important consequence of all. Since September up until the start of December, I had no problems. I stuck to the plan and I lost a lot of weight. Since Chrismas however, I have probably lost a total of half a stone. And I've gained weight 3 times! It feels horrible knowing where I could be know. I could quite easily have lost another stone and a half by now!
I owe it to myself to stop this self destructive pattern. What do I get from it in the end? That few seconds pleasure of eating whatever it was. It just isn't worth all of this pain I'm in now. Emotional and physical!
Oh, last one. . . .
6. Cost! I pay my councellor £66 per week. If I then chose to go off and pig out, I am then spending more money on food only for that initial £66 to go to waste. I can hardly afford to continue that. I have bills to pay and tickets to buy!! And what is more important? Food that will eventually make me feel sick and cause me to gain weight, or festival tickets? No contest!!
If anyone has been having some issues with lapsing and has anymore to add, feel free. I need all the help I can get.
Goal one. Get to Monday without another lapse!
B x