Wierd Dreams, Arguments with OH and Lack of Exercise

[littlemiss]

Hi All,

Just wanted to have a rant...

Had the wierdest dream ever last night, I had a dream that I ate a whole box of celebrations...I was in asda yesterday and I seen a really over weight person with 2 big boxes of celebrations in their trolley, and it must have stuck in my mind, so I woke up in a really bad mood, took it out on the OH and didnt bother exercising.

In my dream i dont remember eating the chocolates, but the empty box was next to me and i knew it was me that ate it, i was crying un-controlably in my dream as i thought i'd ruined my diet...am I destined to binge again in the future? Or does the dream signify how strong i've been?

Does anyone else find that arguments etc can put you off your exercising/diet? I need to be in the right mood for exercising, but its only recently i've been able to have an argument and not go for the unhealthy foods after.

 

[NumberOne]

Yeah i feel like going on a binge when me and the hubby have a argument. Before i would have dug into the cakes and biscuits. Now ive learnt not to do that. But its still quite hard not to, especially when your abit hot under the collar.

And i get weird dreams too. Recently i saw i had a tummy tuck I think i dreamt that because i was thinking about it.

 

[Little Noo]

ive always used food for comfort in the past - but no more! although its really hard to resist when you've had an argument with OH or had a bad day at work - its only going to make you feel better for the few minutes whilst you're eating it, then leave you feeling worse than you were before!

bad dreams can also tend to put me in a bad mood - if my OH has been horrible to me in a dream i tend to be off with him when i wake up! stupid i know, but sometimes a dream can play on my mind all day - especially if it was a scary one!! xx

 

[serafyn]

Yes I have eating dreams too, usually cream cakes and pizza, both at same time, then any fast food I can lay my hands on...eat up I say it's only a dream! .

 

[preetone]

i still will eat somethng naughty :s but not a huge amount, ill have a buscuit or slice of cheese. i love cheese

 

[littlemiss]

Hi,

Thanks for the reply's everyone!!

Don't know whats going on with OH, arguments only just starting to die down, I think the dream did set me off to a bad start today, I was also dreaming about OH, but non food related. He was being really cheeky and dis-respectful and flirting with other girls in my other dream, and along with the whole box of celebrations thing, i was destined to be in a bad mood b4 i even woke up.

I dont ever get upset about my body/being on a diet ect, but when something else pops up that makes me upset, i start getting upset about it and think to myself...why not just have that chocolate. Since i've started dieting i've been keeping myself away from stressful situations, and been really trying not to moan/start arguments etc. I'm scared that if I get too stressed then i'll binge.

Im sitting here typing this while eating a slice of the OH's pepperoni pizza, that he just got delivered, im not too bothered though, as i've only had around 500 cals today.

Good luck everyone, thanks for listening!
xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[serafyn]

My OH orders pizza and other take away food, chinese and Indian. I hate it when that happens he has no idea. I', ok with my chicken salad and fruit I have for tea until that arrives at the door and I'm starving I feel it's a bit thoughtless but then I can't expect him to diet too, although perhaps he needs to.

 

[Iris]

I feel your pain. I split from my fiance just after Christmas, and I was certain that spelled the end of my weight loss, mostly because I didn't care about anything and was so damn low that I honestly (if melodramatically!) thought I was going to pop my clogs.

It's strange, though, looking back on it I almost feel like it was a watershed for me. I encountered a really awful situation where food *couldn't* help or comfort me. It did nothing! So I realised how essentially useless it was at healing battered emotions. Something in me kind of broke, I think, but it was something that needed breaking, if that makes sense.

As for the dreams - crikey, I've had some weird ones, too! Last night I dreamt I was eating a fresh cream doughnut. I hate cream and I hate doughnuts! Wish I could have a dream where I eat something tasty... it's never happened yet, though.

 

[NumberOne]

I think we all dream about things we tend to have wondering around in our minds.

 

[serafyn]

:hug99:hugs to you Iris your break up must have been awful xx

I think food does quell your pain to a certain extent, it's very complicated isn't it? When I start a diet I feel anxious for the first week or two well and to a certain extent all the way through. I think it is because the security blanket is pulled away, slowly I'm learning that food cannot heal the pain, I have to deal with the pain in other ways. It's very similar to alcholics or drug addicts only food is our vice. I think now after years of tackling it I feel I don't want to hit the biscuits and cake when I'm down. I have been very down this week I had a bad run in with someone at work which resulted in attacks on my personality which amounted to her saying I was ignorant to people around me, blunt and that I didn't listen, thanks God she wasn't my boss I'd have been mortified. The point is that I for once haven't felt like hitting the food, it didn't cross my mind so I do hope I have broke the cycle.

As for my work collegue, well we all have our faults don't we? And anyone could pick fault with anyone. I am alsways going to be me and if people don't like it then I can't change and the Earth is big enough to stay away from me. lol

 

[littlemiss]

I feel your pain. I split from my fiance just after Christmas, and I was certain that spelled the end of my weight loss, mostly because I didn't care about anything and was so damn low that I honestly (if melodramatically!) thought I was going to pop my clogs.

It's strange, though, looking back on it I almost feel like it was a watershed for me. I encountered a really awful situation where food *couldn't* help or comfort me. It did nothing! So I realised how essentially useless it was at healing battered emotions. Something in me kind of broke, I think, but it was something that needed breaking, if that makes sense.

As for the dreams - crikey, I've had some weird ones, too! Last night I dreamt I was eating a fresh cream doughnut. I hate cream and I hate doughnuts! Wish I could have a dream where I eat something tasty... it's never happened yet, though.

Hi Iris,

Thanks for sharing that!

I tend to get really bad sickness if i'm worried, anxious etc, especially if an argument is happening, but after the argument/stressful situation, when things have calmed down, thats normally when I binge as I feel bad because i've felt bad, if that makes sense.

Isn't it strange how it takes such a long time for people to realise that food doesn't solve problems, I used to convince myself that I would feel alright later, as I would have chocolate to munch, but after chocolate finished, problem still there.

Things on the argument with OH side are still as bad as ever. We have actually been arguing on and off for 4 days for various different things...last night he booked himself flights to Ireland, as he was going there to live....that didnt last long, they got cancelled this morning, but I think he's really sick of things, im gonna need to stop moaning etc, or I might lose him for good. No matter what happens I aint going back to the way I was.

Before I lost weight, I bumped into my ex, we were engaged and together for a number of yrs...but I hadn't seen him for 6 years, he must have been thinking, thank god i got shot of her, look how big she is now, he cheated on me with one of my friends and I could just imagine them talking about how much weight i'd put on etc, that was a big turning point for me, I didnt want to bump into anyone else from my past and be embarrased about myself.

 

[littlemiss]

:hug99:hugs to you Iris your break up must have been awful xx

I think food does quell your pain to a certain extent, it's very complicated isn't it? When I start a diet I feel anxious for the first week or two well and to a certain extent all the way through. I think it is because the security blanket is pulled away, slowly I'm learning that food cannot heal the pain, I have to deal with the pain in other ways. It's very similar to alcholics or drug addicts only food is our vice. I think now after years of tackling it I feel I don't want to hit the biscuits and cake when I'm down. I have been very down this week I had a bad run in with someone at work which resulted in attacks on my personality which amounted to her saying I was ignorant to people around me, blunt and that I didn't listen, thanks God she wasn't my boss I'd have been mortified. The point is that I for once haven't felt like hitting the food, it didn't cross my mind so I do hope I have broke the cycle.

As for my work collegue, well we all have our faults don't we? And anyone could pick fault with anyone. I am alsways going to be me and if people don't like it then I can't change and the Earth is big enough to stay away from me. lol

Hi,

That sounds terrible about your workmate. It doesnt matter how different ppl are, there is no need to speak to ppl like that. Can you imagine what sort of a world we would be living in if everyone said what they thought about ppl. Its hard when you spend so much time with your workmates, yet they are not actually friends! I think certain ppl in my work are trying to get me to eat stuff etc, I think they would get pleasure out of it if I actually said yes to one of their cakes.

I have spent so much time being overweight i am now worried about what will happen when I get to goal, I hope I dont change too much, I might want to show off my body, although I doubt It will ever be nice enough.

I never ever in a million years thought it would be this hard to lose weight, when I was pregnant with my daughter I thought oh well, it will come off after she's born, but it didnt...its taken me 5 bloody years to make even a slight difference to my weight. Its amazing how being over weight can take over your whole life. I've found myself now being absolutely terrified of falling pregnant again.

 

[serafyn]

Hi there Little Miss,

You sound like you're going through the mill with OH but hang on in there everyone argues with their OH I have no magic words but I'm sending positive thoughts that you two can work it out xx

Perhaps as you lose you're weight you're changing? Perhaps you feel there are others areas you could tackle, well if you've done this you can do anything right?

As for your work collegues tryng to get you to eat this makes me mad! It is amazing how people can get jelous when you lose weight! I found this when i lost 4 stone. I even got people shunning me. No one ever talks about the other side of the coin, the negatives of losing weight. It can change you, you might even question your life and it can alter your friendships. I think people see you as being a bit focussed and end up being threatened by that. Then there are the lovelies who support you and congratulate you genuinely

Listen to your inner self in all your issues, get youre head straight and the rest will follow x

peace x

 

[littlemiss]

Hi there Little Miss,

You sound like you're going through the mill with OH but hang on in there everyone argues with their OH I have no magic words but I'm sending positive thoughts that you two can work it out xx

Perhaps as you lose you're weight you're changing? Perhaps you feel there are others areas you could tackle, well if you've done this you can do anything right?

As for your work collegues tryng to get you to eat this makes me mad! It is amazing how people can get jelous when you lose weight! I found this when i lost 4 stone. I even got people shunning me. No one ever talks about the other side of the coin, the negatives of losing weight. It can change you, you might even question your life and it can alter your friendships. I think people see you as being a bit focussed and end up being threatened by that. Then there are the lovelies who support you and congratulate you genuinely

Listen to your inner self in all your issues, get youre head straight and the rest will follow x

peace x

Hi,

Thanks for the great advice! I do have a new feeling that I can do anything now, which is an unexpected suprise to losing weight. I also find myself feeling guilty about losing weight, when people are genuinely nice, and they themselves are trying to lose weight, I feel bad because I've lost weight and they haven't. And I worry that they might start to dislike me or be jealous.

Losing 4 stone is amazing, what diet are you on? I've lost 3 and everyone I know passes comment on it, its very flattering, I can tell when I look at myself that i've lost weight, clothes are baggier less flab etc, but overall I cant see that big a difference that would make people notice it. I think before I started losing weight my face was quite chubby, and thats the first place the weight went from, so people are noticing my face and ignoring the fact that I am still overweight, after all i've still got around 4 stone to lose.

 

[serafyn]

Hi There!

I lost my weight through Cambridge then I got bored and went onto calorie counting. I put some back on but now I'm back to CCing again and want to lose two stone.

I don't want to put you off losing weight or anyone else and losing weight is great when you get there. However I did persoanlly find afew problems after such a big weight loss. I'm not a very secure person and I missed my 'wrapping' I felt a bit vulnerable too, also I think it is a shock to the body and I was easily tearful. Slowly is always the key I reckon. I also got tired of people knowing I was on a diet 'should you be eating that?' or 'Eat one it won't hurt', you give permission for yourself to be public property and I hate that. This time I'm keeping the diet to myself! Also I did have the jelousy, guilt feelings so much so that even when skinney and down to goal I recieved hate mail saying I was still fat! Took me along time to get over that I can assure you. I had no idea who sent those messages and I'm still jaded even though it has been years since. I REALLY don't want to put people off losing weight and I had to lose my weight because apart from anything it's a health issue. I did enjoy the new clothes etc but I was still me, it doesn't radically change your life. I was still married to the same man and still in the same job, only now I was a focal point. I dunno I think alot more peole have better experiences than me so don't let me put you off.

xx best of luck xx

 

[littlemiss]

Hi There!

I lost my weight through Cambridge then I got bored and went onto calorie counting. I put some back on but now I'm back to CCing again and want to lose two stone.

I don't want to put you off losing weight or anyone else and losing weight is great when you get there. However I did persoanlly find afew problems after such a big weight loss. I'm not a very secure person and I missed my 'wrapping' I felt a bit vulnerable too, also I think it is a shock to the body and I was easily tearful. Slowly is always the key I reckon. I also got tired of people knowing I was on a diet 'should you be eating that?' or 'Eat one it won't hurt', you give permission for yourself to be public property and I hate that. This time I'm keeping the diet to myself! Also I did have the jelousy, guilt feelings so much so that even when skinney and down to goal I recieved hate mail saying I was still fat! Took me along time to get over that I can assure you. I had no idea who sent those messages and I'm still jaded even though it has been years since. I REALLY don't want to put people off losing weight and I had to lose my weight because apart from anything it's a health issue. I did enjoy the new clothes etc but I was still me, it doesn't radically change your life. I was still married to the same man and still in the same job, only now I was a focal point. I dunno I think alot more peole have better experiences than me so don't let me put you off.

xx best of luck xx

Hi,

Yeah weight loss is such a life changing thing, people expect you to be this happy/outgoing person all of a sudden. I was told the other day that I look totally different...as in my looks have changed, which was a bit of a shock, I dont really want to change the way I look, I just want to lose the flab.

I cant believe what you have been through with the hate mail etc, that is just absolutely terrible. It must have spurred you on in a way.

Even though my legs look fine in denims now, I still try and wear long tops/cardi's ect that cover the top of my legs..but i have realised now that alot of the clothes I was wearing actually made me look bigger, because they were so baggy.

How did you find it on Cambridge? I'm thinking of trying something different to get the last cpl of stone off, maybe I should just stick to calorie counting, even if it does take slightly longer, I see calorie counting as a life change for me, I think I will count my calories forever now..so I would always go back to it.

I know losing weight wont make drastic changes to my life, which is not what I want anyway...i just want to be more confident in the things i do. I've been held back from so much because of my weight, I am only 25, so I want to make as much of my life as I can before i hit 30.

Thanks again for the advice.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[serafyn]

Hi again!

Being told you look totally different must be scary in a way, as you say you don't want to look different just less of you

Cambridge works but you have to stick to it and it's hard no doubt about it. I can't go back on it as I can't face the shakes again, although they were lovely I had just had enough :jelous: and got so tired of the diet. I'm doing things slowly with c cing now and enjoying my food. Weight loss is an odd thing. I can totally understand that you would wear baggy clothes, I still head for the size 18 clothes and work my way down cus in my head I'm always size 18 even though I'm 12 14 in reality. Weight carries such issues that we rarely address, some positive and some negative.

 

[Iris]

Hi There!

I lost my weight through Cambridge then I got bored and went onto calorie counting. I put some back on but now I'm back to CCing again and want to lose two stone.

I don't want to put you off losing weight or anyone else and losing weight is great when you get there. However I did persoanlly find afew problems after such a big weight loss. I'm not a very secure person and I missed my 'wrapping' I felt a bit vulnerable too, also I think it is a shock to the body and I was easily tearful. Slowly is always the key I reckon. I also got tired of people knowing I was on a diet 'should you be eating that?' or 'Eat one it won't hurt', you give permission for yourself to be public property and I hate that. This time I'm keeping the diet to myself! Also I did have the jelousy, guilt feelings so much so that even when skinney and down to goal I recieved hate mail saying I was still fat! Took me along time to get over that I can assure you. I had no idea who sent those messages and I'm still jaded even though it has been years since. I REALLY don't want to put people off losing weight and I had to lose my weight because apart from anything it's a health issue. I did enjoy the new clothes etc but I was still me, it doesn't radically change your life. I was still married to the same man and still in the same job, only now I was a focal point. I dunno I think alot more peole have better experiences than me so don't let me put you off.

xx best of luck xx

You said that all beautifully. I've had some of the same experiences. It's strange... it's like when the weight comes off you're suddenly more exposed than you're ready to be. Something I've noticed is that people seem to fall into one of two camps - there's people who lose weight because they feel invisible and want to be more visible, the whole 'I'm tired of being the fat girl that no one notices - I want my time in the sun!' mentality. Then there's the other side of the coin, maybe a smaller bunch of people, who want to lose weight to become *more* invisible. That's the mentality that says 'I just want to be normal and blend into the background.' The latter is how I feel, really, how I've always felt. Some people feel that the world doesn't see the real them when they're fat and they want to lose weight so their real self will shine. I felt the opposite- that the world had a clear view of the real me when I was fat - a me who clearly had terrible issues with food and wore them obviously as rolls and folds, like a public brand of shame. I wanted to lose weight to disguise myself, I guess, to give people less of a view of that side of myself.

So when you're suddenly stripped of that fat and you find that people seem to look at you more now than they did at your heaviest... that takes massive adjustment. I still don't feel thin, mentally or physically. I'm grasping at external cues to try to anchor me to this new self. The size 8 label on my new jeans - could they belong to a fat girl? I guess not. But they could belong to a fat girl in disguise, says that insidious little voice in my head, damn it.

There's so much baggage, isn't there? Far more baggage than all the stones lost. If only shedding the baggage was as simple as shedding the weight...

 

[serafyn]

^ you said that beautifully too :hug99:

Yes I am a fat girl being thinner too. There is a huge mental adjustment and for other people too. I just wish it was about the weight but it isn't. Yes I want to blend too but I don't seem to be doing this I'm doing ok no one at work is interested now lol I still never got over the hate mail though. I lost about 4 to 5 stones and someone sent mail saying I was still fat I guess they were jelous. I have gained some of that weight and am tackling it again, part of me thinks why bother you'll be a focal point again, but I think it's my head making excuses, so I ignore it and stay quietly in the background losing weight.

 

[NIC68]

so I ignore it and stay quietly in the background losing weight.

This is me all over - quietly getting on with it, although after now losing 4.5 stone I've suddenly become a focal point and constantly find someone staring at me. Compliments are nice, but make me feel uncomfortable when I'm then bombarded with questions about how, what when??!! So personal and intrusive. They wouldn't dream of asking an overweight person how much they weigh!! There's always to sides to the coin aren't there.......