Worried

[Silence]

Hi,
I'm really worried about my sister. She's overweight and is trying to lose weight, but she's not eating very much at all... today, for example, all she's eaten is a yoghurt and an apple and she'll probably be having a WW ready meal for her tea.
It's been going on for a while, but she refuses to talk about it. She just keeps saying she's not hungry or she's too busy to eat.
The bizarre thing is that she's not losing any weight....

I don't know what to do, and I'm really really worried about her.

Any suggestions?

 

[hchappyh]

Silence, I'm not sure what to say as am no expert on this matter. The reason why she is probably not loosing weight as her body is in starvation mode and all the stored fat is being used to keep her going as such. If she won't talk about it, I don't know what to say. Is there anyway that you can suggest she sees the Dr or follows a proper healthy eating diet....Go Lower, WW, SW etc etc..... there are loads out there, it really is just finding the one that suits her! Maybe you can do it together and make it a type of competition - will that help motivate her...? I know you know, but she really does need to eat. At least she's eating an evening meal - that is better than nothing at all.

Keep me posted and if I think of anything else I'll post back.

Good luck
xx

 

[millux]

You need to talk to her, this is very dangerous territory. She will not lose any weight (if anything, she will gain) because her body will be going into starvation mode & keeping all the fat/calories that it can get. Show her the forums on here, show her that healthy eating works & it's proven by the people on WW/SW forums. If she continues to eat like this then her heart & other vital organs will be used as energy (regardless of how much fat she has) by her body. Tell her, be brutal before she makes herself ill.

 

[Silence]

Silence, I'm not sure what to say as am no expert on this matter. The reason why she is probably not loosing weight as her body is in starvation mode and all the stored fat is being used to keep her going as such. If she won't talk about it, I don't know what to say. Is there anyway that you can suggest she sees the Dr or follows a proper healthy eating diet....Go Lower, WW, SW etc etc..... there are loads out there, it really is just finding the one that suits her! Maybe you can do it together and make it a type of competition - will that help motivate her...? I know you know, but she really does need to eat. At least she's eating an evening meal - that is better than nothing at all.

Keep me posted and if I think of anything else I'll post back.

Good luck
xx

You need to talk to her, this is very dangerous territory. She will not lose any weight (if anything, she will gain) because her body will be going into starvation mode & keeping all the fat/calories that it can get. Show her the forums on here, show her that healthy eating works & it's proven by the people on WW/SW forums. If she continues to eat like this then her heart & other vital organs will be used as energy (regardless of how much fat she has) by her body. Tell her, be brutal before she makes herself ill.

I've told her about the starvation mode thing and I've asked her to go to the Drs but she won't listen. She just keeps saying she's fine.
I've offered to go on a diet with her, well tbh we're both following WW at the moment. The difference is that I've weighed myself and know how many points to have, she's guessed and isn't eating anywhere near the amount in any case.
She just keeps denying that there's even a problem. I tried to talk to her again today and she just shut up. She's not at home either, she's at uni and so it's hard to keep track of her eating.
I tried to explain to her that she might be suffering from anorexia... but it came out wrong. I didn't mean underweight anorexia, I meant what happens internally with her organs being used to survive. Like millux said.
I'm trying not to nag her, but I'm so worried I don't know what else to do!

 

[millux]

I understand, it must be frustrating for you. I hope she comes to her senses. Dont worry about nagging her! Nag all you need to if it means that she comes to terms with it, if you have a little falling out it's entirely worth it if she realises what she's doing, especially with the long-term effects. I wish I could help you, I know how tough it is. If you haven't already, tell her how much it's worrying you. Even if she doesn't talk back, at least she'll be listening & it might just make a difference if she knows how much it's hurting & worrying you. Good luck. Wish we could help somehow, just dont give up! x

 

[hchappyh]

Silence, Do you know any of her close friends at Uni as they maybe able to help? They can be your eyes and ears and can be support to her in a way that maybe you can't - with family it is somehow different, but from a friend maybe she'll listen. What about your parents? Does she have a boyfriend? What about the Uni, there must be medics or a chaplaincy who you can talk to - it maybe worth getting them involved if it is as serious as you say - they'll need to know to help and support her too. All these people you may be able to get through to her - the important thing is don't give up - keep the lines of communication open - be there for her when she needs you. Maybe show her websites about what she is doing to her self - what about her WW's mentor - is there nothing that they can say?

Good luck and we are here for you..Thinking of you
xx

 

[Silence]

I don't know whether I'm overreacting, but it just seems that whenever I talk to her she's not eaten anything. She's not doing WW with a group, she's just doing it online and her friends are all going home - it's the end of semester, but she's still on placement (she's a student nurse so she has different course dates to everyone else).
I'm going to leave her a couple of days and go do some hardcore research to back up what I have to say. Hopefully, she'll listen.

 

[hchappyh]

Good luck and I hope all goes well. Keep us posted. And if you need anyone to 'talk' too you know where we are.

xx

 

[Katie_Victoria]

I know from personal experience how this kind of behaviour can spiral out of control. From the sounds of it she's trying to lose weight via starvation and, not only won't that work it will also mean she'll end up eating more in the long run and it could even possibly screw with her mind eventually (I know it did mine).

You need to talk to her, she'll tell you she's fine people doing things like this tend to be fantastic liars.
I really hope everything works out.

 

[breadbin]

its great she has you looking after, she is really lucky for that so don't be thinking you're overreacting. she is your sister who you love and its perfectly normal to be worried.

i know its probably not something you would want to think about but any chance she could be eating on the sly? could also explain the lack of weight loss although the starvation mode thing is real and very dangerous

 

[Silence]

So I've had a chat with my sister today and after going round in circles, it's amounted to nothing....
She knows she's undereating, she's just got no appetite, it's hard to eat doing the placement she's doing, she's trying to sort it out and at least she's eating something. There's no need to worry because her health is fine and what happens to everyone else who eats less than 1000 calories per day persistently won't happen to her.
Apparently the notion of denial means nothing to her.

 

[BREN]

Hi Silence,

WW is a good choice and hopefully she will come around soon. xx

Bren
X

 

[hchappyh]

So I've had a chat with my sister today and after going round in circles, it's amounted to nothing....
She knows she's undereating, she's just got no appetite, it's hard to eat doing the placement she's doing, she's trying to sort it out and at least she's eating something. There's no need to worry because her health is fine and what happens to everyone else who eats less than 1000 calories per day persistently won't happen to her.
Apparently the notion of denial means nothing to her.

At least you've had a chat with her....and now she knows that you are worrying. Just be there for her and have more chats when you can. When she finishes her placement, which is her excuse at the moment for not eating, you need to have another chat and see how's she doing.

Good luck and keep us posted.
xx