WTH???

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Mummy_Helen, 13 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    So I was on the phone to an old friend this morning, I haven't seen her for quite a while because I moved to Scotland 2 yrs ago and she is still in England. When i told her I was doing SW and was well on my way to losing the 1 st, she said "what are you losing weight for?" I told her because I want to be healthier, and that I was bordering being obese when I joined (My BMI was 29.9 before starting) and I wanted to get decent clothes in any shop I wanted to. And she said "Oh they are just numbers, it doesn't mean anything":eek: She said she would rather die eating a big fat curry and chips than have to live on rabbit food. Of course i told her SW isn't like that, but for every GOOD thing I told her I was doing, she batted it down, and not ONCE did she say well done on what I had achieved.

    I got off the phone feeling deflated and quite annoyed. Granted she is the type of person that can eat anything she wants and never puts any weight on, but still it didn't feel good that she put down my efforts. Of course being stuck in bed today with my laptop because of a severe ear infection hasn't helped my mood.

    I feel like i don't really want to talk to her again anytime soon, which is a shame because apart from this one issue, we do get on really well. But I feel like i don't need this negative attitude while i'm working so hard to get where I want to be.
     
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  3. MichelleB

    MichelleB Full Member

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    Has your friend ever had to diet? If not, maybe she doesn't understand how it makes you feel to be overweight and how hard it is to stick to a diet plan.
    Maybe she could do with dieting herself, but hasn't yet bitten the bullet and made the right choice to cut down.
    I used to kid myself that I wasn't bothered about my weight until I stepped on the scales in April and found that I weighed more than I had ever done - even while pregnant :eek:
    Being on this diet and losing the weight I have so far, I feel great. It was wonderful to go shopping yesterday and buy size 12's again.
    Maybe your 'mate' is jealous of all the praise and positive attention you will get from others on your diet success.

    Michelle
     
  4. Eternalflame

    Eternalflame Excited about the new me!

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    I think a touch of the Green Eyed monster might have popped up in her mind. Don't let it put you off, there are lots of ppl like that who do say strange things. I think you are doing the best thing for you and your family.. SW is a good plan and your kids will follow that healthy eating too, you can't odds that, it'll happen and what a good thing to teach your children.

    Also, you can eat big curry's and chips and still loose weight on this.. LOL. Its not rabbit food as we know it.. if she only knew!!

    Carry on the good work and if you fancy joining a support group, we have one on here "From here to Eternally Slim". We share recipes, tips for good days and bad and help motivate each other too. Good luck on your journey and don't take any notice of ppl like that. x
     
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  5. Alia

    Alia Silver Member

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    Hi Helen

    I've found from past experience that in my life it is non productive to be around people with any negativity towards my life situations no matter what that might be. Its best to surround yourself with people that support your weightloss efforts and don't put them down in any way at all.

    Clearly this friend who has no weight issues at all and can as you said, eat anything she likes is not supporting you in the way that she should be. You are doing the right thing in taking hold of your life and heading off in the direction of changing things and becoming more healthy. This friend should only want the best for you and clearly if you have a weight issue it is best for you, physically and mentalily to change it.

    If you have n't seen her in so long I'd suggest that you no longer discuss your slimming journey with her as it is as it has happened, going to make you feel bad and deflated - not things you need to be feeling on top of what you are going through.

    Sorry to be direct but I'd file her under B (bog off :p) if she can't appreciate what you need and support your efforts. It's not like she is a friend you are seeing or talking to regularly and you really dont need to be hearing the things she is saying. If this was a closer friend I'd be suggesting you tell her how she has made you feel and that you are disappointed in her attitude and lack of support. With a distant friend such as this I don't thing I'd actually give her the satisfaction to know how bad she has made you feel.

    Just my honest opinion hun xxx
     
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  6. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    I agree with Alia that you shouldnt bother discussing your slimming journey with her any more. She may be the sort of person who got her own self-esteem out of being thinner than her friends, and it could make her uncomfortable to think of you being "different". From what you said though, you dont want to lose touch with her altogether though, so the best way to avoid this issue is to simply not bring it up.

    I am a firm believer that different relationships bring different strengths and different qualities to your life. If all she ever did was ring up and bash you down generally, then I would be less inclined to bother with her at all in future, but you said you get on well on other levels, so dont expect to draw your support for your weight loss from her, but just stick to the levels you are both comfortable with and draw your support for your weight loss from others that understand more about what you are doing and why. She may have got off the phone to you and felt horribly guilty that she wasnt more supportive, but thats for her conscience, and not for you to worry about.

    But dont dwell on it. The problem is hers, not yours. You are doing what is right for you. You cant expect everyone in your life to have the same opinion as you and it would be very boring if we all thought the same, but the key to success is to stick to your guns. What she thinks is only her opinion, and the only opinion that matters is yours.
     
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  7. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    Thanks guys, I'm not going to take any notice of her, because I've already seen the benefits of what I'm doing and know I can reach target carrying on. And Alia, I agree completely about putting her on the B list:) If she calls again I won't even mention it unless she asks. We only speak maybe once a month so it won't be difficult. I think I'm just feeling down today anyway because of being sick, and that hasn't helped.

    MLM - you are so right, I have a lot of people rooting for me with my weight loss, even one of the teachers at my kids nursery has decided to join her local SW since hearing me drone on about it:8855:

    On a plus note..my eldest daughter (5) came into the bathroom thsi morning while I was on the loo, and she said "Mummy? Are you pooping your big tummy out?" :8855: I'd been explaining to her that i'm losing the belly (in a way that she can understand) and she came to the concusion that when you poop you lose weight LOL
     
  8. Alia

    Alia Silver Member

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    LOL not sure about any one else but when I poop I do DEFFINATELY lose weight :eek:
    Might be something to do with all the baked beans I eat. :8855:
     
  9. Eternalflame

    Eternalflame Excited about the new me!

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    Glad to hear it Helen. I have friends I have to put into catagories, ones I can speak to about anything, ones I enjoy a giggle with, ones I like meeting for coffee once a month and ones who I might not see often, and don't tell them much, but still enjoy seeing. Everyone is different and this way, I know who my "Real" friends are.

    Alia - I'm the same, if I don't go, I get bloated and then gain, once the drains are cleared, PMSL (TMI) :8855:, I'm a happy larrry :D
     
  10. BookWorm1980

    BookWorm1980 Full Member

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    Couldn't have said it better myself, well put Alia!
     
  11. BookWorm1980

    BookWorm1980 Full Member

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    OMG too much information!!! :8855::8855:
     
  12. Emma13

    Emma13 Full Member

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    don't be disheartened hun. you are doing well and she's obviously jealous! keep your chin up, and hope u feel better soon xxx
     
  13. Eternalflame

    Eternalflame Excited about the new me!

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    BW.. you just have to come out and say it, PMSL x
     
  14. Crazyarmywife

    Crazyarmywife Full Member

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    I had a friend like this and i am glad to say she is no longer my friend, Every time i mention my diet and that i wanted to do well she would say all diets like ww and sw were rubbish and that once she got told she could not have something she would go ahead and do it. However she was slim but that was down to smoking 40 fags a day and drinking a bottle of wine everynight. Because she was smoking so much she obviously was not eating much and obviously did not have any hands free with wine in one and smoking in the other. However i know that yes i may eat more than her but its the right things, I am alot healthier than her. Like the others said hun you have to do whats best for you and ignore the negetive attidudes of others. You are doing amazingly well and next time she phones just dont mention it. Just think when you do come to bump into her she would not of had a clue how much you have lost and it will be a big shock and there is nothing like shocking people in how great you look x
     
  15. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    I have to admit, I AM looking forward to shocking some people when i go back home again lol. Because all my REAL friends are back home (I haven't really made any 'best friends' here yet) I want to see their reactions.
     
  16. Eternalflame

    Eternalflame Excited about the new me!

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    Thats a great thought Helen and what motivation too, good on you for feeling that. Have a good day xx
     
  17. mojomcl

    mojomcl Silver Member

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    Lots of words of wisedom here.
    My first thoughts were "old friend"? Less of a friend and more of an 'ex friend' if that was how she was with me!
     
  18. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    I can't just dump her because of one thing though. On every other level we get on great. I've been thinking about it though, and I've decided that I'm not even bothered that she doesn't understand why I'm doing this. Because at the end of the day I am not doing it for anyone but myself. So it doesn't matter if no-one else wants to know, because as long as I am happy, thats all that matters.

    I think she just caught me on a bad day. So from now on... if people dont want to hear about it... I'll just come here!;)
     
  19. prawnchopSuey

    prawnchopSuey Gold Member

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    i think you've found your answer right there!

    Most people probably find diet-talk mind-numbingly boring and therefore find it difficult to get as excited about the amazing syn-free recipe you've found or how you've done X amount of days on plan. Especially for people who have never struggled with their weight, this is all probably like a foreign language to them and not in the least bit interesting!

    I'm sure when you next see her and she can see how great you're looking you'll get lots of compliments and remember why she was such a good friend before. And I'm sure you will get compliments from plenty more people besides her.

    In between, if you want to discuss your Slimming World progress, save it for a class or share it with all us like-minded loons on here who appreciate the marvellous effort you are putting in!! :)
     
  20. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    You calling me a loon???:eek::8855::8855: (And I tried sooo hard to hide it!!)
     
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