You can never change what people really think.

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by bride2b83, 30 August 2014.

  1. bride2b83

    bride2b83 Active Member

    I stood yesterday looking at a woman thinking thank god im on slimming world. I would have looked like that in a few stones time. I then felt a bit guilty as you never know a persons circumstances.

    This morning a video of said person is on facebook. Tight clothes, bits hanging out.
    Turns out its a colleagues wife. Hes gone mad so I showed my other half the comments, OH then saw the vid and
    Said hang on thats you, whys he mad.

    Im gutted. Even at nearly 17 stone I never let everything hang out. Ive always been careful to keep it hidden under layers.

    I guess its how he sees me. Ive lost
    Over two stone, two dress sizes but he will always look at me and see me fat.
  2. lardylady

    lardylady Well-Known Member

    Why did he say it was you? Was he trying to be funny? Does he make comments like this normally?

    I think it takes a long time for the people you live with to see the change in you, because they see you every day. it's people who see you only every few weeks or months who tend to notice the changes in you. To have lost 2 stone and 2 dress sizes in a fabulous achievement, so don't let your OH's comments get you down (easy to say I know!).
  3. sewingbee

    sewingbee Well-Known Member

    Be proud of how far you've come so far. Do it for yourself , not anyone else. Your OH may be feeling a bit insecure because you are beginning to change. It's his problem - not yours. Your health and a wealth of other things will change for the better including your self esteem . Good luck with your journey. Xx
  4. willfitskinnyjeans

    willfitskinnyjeans Well-Known Member

    This post made me feel abit sad. I've 5 stone to loose to be a size 8-10 and after loosing a stone a comment about a group of ppl was "we've all pilled on weight" I said like who and my name was in there.
    I felt like arguing my case of loosing a stone not "piling" it on but I thought why bother this is my journey no one else's.
  5. strawberry

    strawberry Well-Known Member

    Felt so sad reading this, have you told him that the comment hurt you? I put up with comments like that from my ex for years and finally built up the courage to end the relationship as he was putting all of his negative thoughts about himself onto me.
    As someone has said, maybe he is feeling insecure because he knows you're going to look great (not that you don't already!).
    Make sure that you decide to lose the weight for yourself and your own happiness, not just because he threw it in your face. Trust me, as someone who has struggled with her weight for a long time, wanting to fit an image that I felt others judged me by- you won't have the drive to keep it up if you don't do it for yourself and your own happiness, and your own happiness is what matters the most. xx
  6. LoveMyCat

    LoveMyCat Well-Known Member

    Don't let it get you down - it sounds like it was a thoughtless comment that struck a chord and made you worry. As everyone has said - people close to us don't notice! You have an incredible incredible loss so far so don't let it stop you or get you down. Is there someone you're friends with that you haven't seen for a while that you could meet up with? They'll see a loss for sure! Hope you're alright keep your chin up xxxx
  7. Mookey316

    Mookey316 Member

    I think it's also harder to "see" the loss on someone when you see them everyday. It's far easier when you haven't seen a person for a while, you notice the loss.

  8. No you can't change how people think. Nor anything else about them. They are what they are, and it is their responsibility, not yours.

    Maybe he's insecure, maybe he's not seeing clearly? Nope - he's just plain rude!! Up to you whether you put up with it or not (I wouldn't).
  9. little_mynx

    little_mynx Well-Known Member

    Sounds like he doesn't like you changing - a similar situation to what I'm in with my hubby. I watched a programme on tv the other day about losing weight called 'obese: a year to save my life' and the presenter who's a personal trainer said 'its not our families that need to change but ourselves'. I think this is so true. You have to change your mindset and do it for yourself no one else. Its about time you pleased yourself for once and not everyone around you. You're not doing it for you hubby but for yourself. Explain this to him, and that you want and deserve to be happy. You as a person will not change, just your appearance
  10. Tubby&Chubby

    Tubby&Chubby Well-Known Member

    The biggest thing about this is you have realised you want to lose weight! Sod everyone else, you only live once and it's up to you how you do it!! Comments like that aren't needed and I don't think it's fair for anyone to laugh at people however big/small they are.

    What goes around comes around and maybe your OH is in for a big shock!!!

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