11st to lose

[*Flump*]

Hello everyone,

My name is Maria, I'm 29 years old & grossly overweight

When I got married in 2001 I was a slim size 10 and weighed 10st. In the 11 years since then i have managed to gain a stone a year & now weigh 21 stone.

Of course i was aware i was getting bigger but i convinced myself it wasn't an issue. I had a nice home, a good job, good friends & a husband who loved me no matter what, or so i thought.
It turns out Mark hasn't been happy for awhile we had a real heart to heart a couple of weeks ago which ended with him packing a bag and going to stay with his mum for awhile.

He said he still loves me but hasn't been attracted to me in "that way" for a long time & who can blame him?? I don't like the look of my body either, in fact it repulses me so i can't be angry with him for being honest.

I'm thankful really, I've been given the wake-up call i needed & I'm determined to change my eating habits, start exercising &shed these excess stones!

Off on a posting frenzy now as i understand i have to reach 50 posts before i can do anything on this site??

1 down 49 to go!!

 

[Lfc]

Hello Maria, awww hun hugs i feel the same i hate my size and well just dont like going out or doing anything,, my hubby says he will love me no matter what but still i know i need to change,,, i started slim and save today and i will do this diet...
reading your post it as shown me that you too will do this and lose weight as love does strange things to us but when it comes to nearly losing that love again we will do anything to fight for it...which plan are you following or are you just doing at home? i will be here to chat to if you ever need a moan or just a chat xxxx

 

[*Flump*]

Hi Lfc

I considered doing a vlcd but then decided to give healthier eating a try first & see how i get on. I'm cutting out all processed foods & anything with additives and will only be eating food that I've prepared myself so I'll know exactly what's in it!

I have a wedding to attend at the end of august & I'm aiming to lose at least 3 stone by then

 

[k8slo]

Aww hun.....I am on a VL Carb Diet to help shiftthepounds.......I have acted now before I lose something.......he sayshe loves me no matter what but looking at ur story has made me realise I'm doing the right thing as I still want him to find me attractive! I lost 3 st in3 months back in 2008 and felt fabulous! I did that on the Cambridge diet......I had a baby in 2009 (one of the reasons why I lost the weight) so ian finally ready to start over again I'm only on day 2 so we will c how it goes.......
Good luck Hun x

 

[rosierose15]

Heyyy I'm very sorry to hear this. I really hope u lose that weight make him see what hes missing get him grovelling and walk away. Love is blind love is unconditional. U don't need him. Lose the weight for yourself get your self feeling great and your have the pick of the bunch. Good luck xxx

 

[*Flump*]

Hi k8slo

There are many men out there who claim to love their oh's no matter what size they are but I believe the majority of them would like to see their oh's slimmer, healthier & happier they're just afraid to admit it.

By telling us or leading us to believe they love us no matter our size they're actually not doing us any favours.

I really am thankful my hubby finally had the guts to stand up & tell me exactly how it is, it was the shock i needed to spur me on & give me the determination to do something about it.

Yes i have a long way to go & no it won't be easy BUT i am gonna do it & I'm gonna do it for me

 

[lisajade]

Hi Flump,

A very interesting first post. I am due to get married in August. I have gained about 7 stone sine me and my OH met. He seems to still fancy me, but inside I know I am less fanciable, and I am determined to get slim and be a trophy wife!

All the best in your quest to get your man back for good, love is worth the fight

 

[*Flump*]

Hi lisajade

I feel kinda bad for writing that now it makes my hubby sound very callous which he really isn't. He didn't say he finds my body repulsive that's my view of myself, he said he was tired of watching me constantly stuffing my face with junk and then complaining cos I'm so fat, tired & unhappy its no wonder he didn't see me as desirable anymore.

Still that's all going to change now, new leaf turned over and i will get back to being healthy, happy & slim x

 

[lisajade]

Hi lisajade

I feel kinda bad for writing that now it makes my hubby sound very callous which he really isn't. He didn't say he finds my body repulsive that's my view of myself, he said he was tired of watching me constantly stuffing my face with junk and then complaining cos I'm so fat, tired & unhappy its no wonder he didn't see me as desirable anymore.

Still that's all going to change now, new leaf turned over and i will get back to being healthy, happy & slim x

Our men are the ones we moan to all the time, thats the bit I want to change most Just to feel relaxed and carefree like I used to. I don't think you made him sound callous at all, I understand exactly where you are both coming from. Well done on turning it into a positive step, I would probably just eat more!

 

[JackieN]

Just wanted to wish you luck on your journey and give you a :bighug: :bighug: I don't really know what to say to be honest, but at the end of the day its your life and you must do what you feel is right for you :bighug: It just made me think as I was a size 10 when we married. We've been married 25 years this year and I went up to a size 26 Anyway I'm waffling but wish you all the best sweetie xxxxxxxxxx

 

[momomua]

I want to lose weight for my hubby too, I think I have taken his unconditional love for granted but if I think about my unconditional love for him I should make myself the best I can be so I am happy and he is happy too. Your husband just wants you to be the best you can be and you deserve to be just that. Good luck with your weight loss journey xx

Start 197lbs Goal 145lbs

 

[*Flump*]

Hello momomua

I'd like to state first and foremost that I'm doing this for me. I need to lose this weight & adopt a healthier lifestyle that'll be for life not just the next however many months it takes to get down to a sensible weight. I think that now I've accepted this & committed to a healthier lifestyle I truly can achieve whatever I put my mind to & with the help & support of every other person tackling their weight issues on minimins I reckon we can all do it

Good luck to all of us!! x

 

[MrsLisaMarie]

Hello momomua

I'd like to state first and foremost that I'm doing this for me. I need to lose this weight & adopt a healthier lifestyle that'll be for life not just the next however many months it takes to get down to a sensible weight. I think that now I've accepted this & committed to a healthier lifestyle I truly can achieve whatever I put my mind to & with the help & support of every other person tackling their weight issues on minimins I reckon we can all do it

Good luck to all of us!! x

As you can see from my stats I have an awful lot of weight to lose and I am happy to say that 16 weeks at Slimming World I have lost 3 stone 5.5lbs. I found this diet the best one ever after trying vlcd diets and being miserable I have lost the same (actually more) in the same amount of time on the Extra Easy SW plan. You have so much "free" food to eat you never feel hungry - an I am an overeater so need lots of food.

I also attend Zumba class once a week and walk as much as I can with my 19 month old little girl.

I am also doing this for myself and my little girl - the food is good for her too and my whole family eats the same just by changing how food is prepared/cooked.

You can do this! xx

 

[MissHarleyQuinn92]

I just wonder why he didn't mention it to you sooner if it was bugging him. Good luck on your weight loss, honey. <3

 

[*Flump*]

As you can see from my stats I have an awful lot of weight to lose and I am happy to say that 16 weeks at Slimming World I have lost 3 stone 5.5lbs. I found this diet the best one ever after trying vlcd diets and being miserable I have lost the same (actually more) in the same amount of time on the Extra Easy SW plan. You have so much "free" food to eat you never feel hungry - an I am an overeater so need lots of food.

I also attend Zumba class once a week and walk as much as I can with my 19 month old little girl.

I am also doing this for myself and my little girl - the food is good for her too and my whole family eats the same just by changing how food is prepared/cooked.

You can do this! xx

Wow your doing brilliantly, well done and your right WE CAN all do this!! x

 

[*Flump*]

I just wonder why he didn't mention it to you sooner if it was bugging him. Good luck on your weight loss, honey. <3

In subtle ways i think he tried, i just wasn't wanting to hear or i just plain ignored the signs.

 

[boggins]

*hugs*

Just remember that it is doable. You CAN do it, you just gotta be in the right head-space, so it isn't a battle. For me, giving up wheat and sugar was just the best thing I could have done. I can't do moderation, it's no good me trying to have a "sensible portion" of biscuits once a week. I always end up bingeing in the end. So I gave it all up!

Your approach of ditching processed/junky foods is a great one, I think. Having spent months doing calorie-counting, weighing and measuring, I now know I don't need to if I just stick to real food, good ingredients, and avoid bread and sugar. Once I ditched the junk, after a few weeks I didn't miss it anymore- no need for biscuits, the doughnuts didn't call to me- I just stopped. Just another perspective to throw into the mix there.

The main thing is that you know you're not a fat person anymore. On the inside, I mean. That's what's got me through over 7 stone of weight loss so far- knowing I'm not that person now. I can't explain it any better I'm afraid- I'd just say try not to fight yourself or hate yourself. Forgive yourself any slip ups because it's the long view that's important- bumps on the road are just bumps. You can do it!

 

[Tractor girl]

Dear Flump (love the name and profile piccy by the way !) Just want to say good luck on your journey, the only real tips that I can share are that I have found that exercise (lots of it) and 2 litres of water will really help both with weightloss and also to help your skin ping back, I am also trying bio oil to help my skin.

I was in a kind of similar place to you in that I got bigger and bigger as my partner never once mentioned my size and hence I thought it didn't matter and he didn't care.

Good luck and I really hope that it all works out for you xx

 

[Chezza30122007]

Hey hunni.

Good luck with your WL journey! I will keep checking in and spurring you on like most others!

I think people may mis-interpret what you mean by "winning" your hubby back and the fact that you have "separated".

I'm kind of like it at the moment, I'm in a long term relationship as was much slimmer than I am now, I started slimming World on Sunday. What I feel is that if I don't like myself how can my partner (a cliche sentence I know but it's true!) When you are not happy with yourself, how can you expect someone else to be? Even if it's not noticed visually etc there will be something there that show's therefore radiating to the atmosphere! I am a moody woman at best of times but when I feel unhappy about my body then everyone get's it in the neck! Lol!

Hope you keep posting so we can see your progress! Would love to see how your story pans out!

xx

 

[ClaudiaPerone]

Fat-Flump your honesty is an inspiration, to post a thread that is truthful and not many would admitt (or have the guts to admitt) to, has really opened my eyes, your hubby isnt a bad man, in fact the opposite, many men would have had their cake and ate it, the security of you at home and the excitment of another on the go..fair play to him, you (and me too) needed a wake up call, how the heck did i get to 21st in the first place, by eating my way there is the answer!! You seem an intelligent lady, you know what you want, you know what you need to do, you just need to get on with it, its not about clothes anymore, its about the rest of your life.... i feel very moved by your thread, thank you!! xx