Oh psp so sorry to hear that that is horrible what you've had to do. I feel for you. My grandad was horrible and abused me too which was hard because I had to visit him a lot with my mum but she didn't know because I didn't tell anyone till he had died cos I thought no one would believe me. So I know what it's like to keep visiting someone even if your upset and angry with them xx
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Oh lovely, I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm always here if you ever want to rant or talk. *huge hugs!*
I find if I ever let something slip (to be honest, this is one of the most times I've talked about it, I don't really open up a lot about the serious stuff, I take after my dad in that respect (which doesn't help with the heart/stress stuff!)) people can be shocked to hear it and then they judge
you for saying it! They have such wonderful relationships with their grandfathers who loved them and who did stuff with them and took them to places that to hear you say something bad about your grandfather (or another 'close' relative who is supposed to love and cherish you) makes you the bad guy! Or I get the 'Aww, yeah. Dementia can do that to people!' Sod the dementia! He's been like it his entire life. Don't excuse his behaviour and what he did/does!
I do have a brother, but he has nothing to do with him, not because of the behaviour and what he's done to me/mum/gran but because he moved away and simply doesn't come back that much (he lives in Yorkshire now) and - if he does come over to see us - he doesn't go and see him. He hears about what we say but I don't really think he takes it in as he doesn't mention or react to it. He moved away to go to uni come 18 and he's turning 34 this December. I think in those 15 odd years, he's seen him all of 18 times, and that includes the 10 Christmases he came home for before he got married aged 30, once for his wedding (where he didn't come over and talk to him other than to say hello and goodbye come the next morning(!). Oh to be a man and to be able to get away from it all!
ohh psp
what a horrid bloody man people like that are so bloody clever and wise there lovely to the outside world but absolute sh**** to there family around them i here you love
gosh your poor grandma and mum and you bloody hell you have all gone through hell with a living b******* like him my hearts with you
your mum bless her gave her life to him and ended up like this and you baby girl having problems with your heart life is so cruel
im glad he is in the home and you only have to go once a month i do know honestly how it feels
they would rather spend the money with there drunken mates and play the big i am i am so glad i do not have this life anymore
here for you hun x x x
Oh lovely, I'm so sorry you had to deal with it too - and I'm glad you're away! It's a hell of a thing to be strong and get away from it.
I've asked my mum many times for us to just give it up and to leave him there and not go visit full stop and draw a line under it but we still end up going even though we both physically hate him (and it). We have to go again on the 10th June and I'm already counting it down to that date
I think we do it because there is noone else. Noone in the family goes to see him (he's been in there 2 years and my brother has only seen him in the care home once as he came over last april as he'd had a major fit and we thought he'd died. Hasn't been back since!) None of his drinking friends go and see him (despite him listening to them more than anything we said - and always putting his hand in his pocket to buy drinks for them - so they'd do the same for him when he didn't have as much money on him - I reckon he's really surprised that NONE of them have been to see him in the 2 years. I'm not in the slightest). We are the only ones who go - and only because we 'have' to because we have to deal with the fall out when he finally passes away (reckon he'll outlive us at this rate!)
HUUUUUUUUUGE hugs all around, always here if you or SF (or anyone!) ever want to offload, vent or talk
