shelleylovesjelly
Full Member
As I was walking with my friend to our zumba class on Monday, we were talking about weight. At that point I'd had my first official weigh in and I'd lost 5.5lb. She was saying how it was really great and that she could see the difference already.
and then I asked what she weighed...
She told me she weighed 8st 4lb, and that after last christmas she had never managed to lose what she called her "cheese baby" after pigging out on cheese. At first I was a bit shell shocked, she was 8st 4lb and complaining about it?! Then I thought a bit more reasonably about it, if I was happy with my weight, put 4lb on and been unable to lose it after a year, I'd be pretty miffed too.
Then I worked out how much more I weighed than her when I first went to slimming world...
Her reaction when I told her that I had weighed 10st 9lb MORE than her when I started was as though she had seem someone being attacked further up the street, the way she screamed "oh my god!". She kept saying she had no idea it was that much, and that she never would have guessed. It made me feel like I had revealed some horrid perverted secret.
Please don't think that I am making out that she is not a supportive friend, this girl is my rock. She gets her sweat on with me every week at zumba, is always there to talk to and offer support, I think she was just genuinely surprised.
The trouble is though, being fat is all I've known. At school I was the chubby kid, I vaguely remember being a size 10 and being proud that I fit into "ladies sizes" and not children's clothes, even though I was a child, I just really wanted to be a grown up and "ladies sizes" meant I was one. My weight rocketed through high school and college, at the top I was knocking on 21 stone.
I managed to lose almost 3stone on my own, gained one when I tried and failed at weightwatchers and now I've joined slimming world I'm already back down to the lowest weight I remember being.
I'm worried that when I get to a size I'm happy with, people will still remember me the way I am now. I get scared when thin people talk about how frail and unwell Pauline Quirke looks now, and I wonder what they will say about me. I'm scared I'm going to do really well but have ridiculous amounts of saggy skin left over.
Losing weight is such an emotional rollercoaster, it can be really scary at times.
and then I asked what she weighed...
She told me she weighed 8st 4lb, and that after last christmas she had never managed to lose what she called her "cheese baby" after pigging out on cheese. At first I was a bit shell shocked, she was 8st 4lb and complaining about it?! Then I thought a bit more reasonably about it, if I was happy with my weight, put 4lb on and been unable to lose it after a year, I'd be pretty miffed too.
Then I worked out how much more I weighed than her when I first went to slimming world...
Her reaction when I told her that I had weighed 10st 9lb MORE than her when I started was as though she had seem someone being attacked further up the street, the way she screamed "oh my god!". She kept saying she had no idea it was that much, and that she never would have guessed. It made me feel like I had revealed some horrid perverted secret.
Please don't think that I am making out that she is not a supportive friend, this girl is my rock. She gets her sweat on with me every week at zumba, is always there to talk to and offer support, I think she was just genuinely surprised.
The trouble is though, being fat is all I've known. At school I was the chubby kid, I vaguely remember being a size 10 and being proud that I fit into "ladies sizes" and not children's clothes, even though I was a child, I just really wanted to be a grown up and "ladies sizes" meant I was one. My weight rocketed through high school and college, at the top I was knocking on 21 stone.
I managed to lose almost 3stone on my own, gained one when I tried and failed at weightwatchers and now I've joined slimming world I'm already back down to the lowest weight I remember being.
I'm worried that when I get to a size I'm happy with, people will still remember me the way I am now. I get scared when thin people talk about how frail and unwell Pauline Quirke looks now, and I wonder what they will say about me. I'm scared I'm going to do really well but have ridiculous amounts of saggy skin left over.
Losing weight is such an emotional rollercoaster, it can be really scary at times.