A Graceful Descent

[Mifford]

Still sleepy as all hell & craving sugar like crazy. Didn't get out of bed until 12ish & now relaxing in front of the tv again but need to get my butt moving as I have housework & ironing that needs doing etc & it won't do itself! I've avoided the sugar cravings so far - brunch was a tin of big soup & a pot of low fat custard. I have my nephews birthday party later though so I can't really avoid it so easy at that one but will do my best.

I'm feeling so bloated still from the week before last though that I'm expecting a definite weight gain this week - I haven't even dared get on my own scales as I'm probably better off not knowing

I am keeping on my head though that in about a week I should start to feel a slight difference, two weeks will see me able to concentrate better etc etc - knowing the cause does help keep me focused that it's just temporary thankfully

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Have a relaxing day and worry about weight when u feel better xxx

 

[Michillinwoman]

Hi Miff , sorry to hear you havnt been feeling great . Its really frustrating when you feel you are eating healthy and the weight is not coming off. !!! .

I was interested to hear you say your tsh levels had gone up again . I didnt realise it could fluctuate like that. I have an appointment with my doctor now on wednesday and I am going to ask her to do the test again. I am not eating sugar at the moment (exept fruit) and therefor not craving or binging . otherwise I am eating healthily , all brown carbs ,I watch my portions ,but no weight loss :cry:. I am also on tablets(provera)now to stop a V heavy 12 day period!!!!!. Id love to know whats going on here !!! . I often wonder is my metabolism just shot after years of dieting and binging

I hope you get some answers soon . Its so hard when you know something is not right and you have to fight doctors to do the relevant tests for you or pay a fortune getting things done privately . I wouldnt care to start adding up what I have spent this year ..

 

[Mifford]

Breda when you are first on thyroxine you should be getting tested roughly every 10-12 weeks so they can get your meds right to get you stabilised. Then once you have had a couple of tests showing you are stable they cut it down to every six months & after a couple of them you should be checked annually as you can fluctuate with your levels. Based on the way you've been describing how you feel lately it would probably be a good idea to just get your levels looked at to see where you are as it won't hurt - you want your tsh down around the 1.0 level if you can as well.

In my case it ain't gone that simply! Lol in the last 3 years we haven't yet managed to get a level reading at any of the 10-12 week blood tests so my meds keep getting adjusted. I seem to be very reactive to any changes & I've been going up & down like a yo-yo. I'm on a combination of thyroxine & liothyronine (t3) because thyroxine alone doesn't work for me but the liothyronine is a lot stronger & I was a lot more volatile on that on its own. This time round when I was on a higher dose I went hypo then we reduced it & I didn't feel so good so in August we increased the thyroxine part again but my readings got worse which doesn't make sense. Oh and to make it even harder for them I only really feel ok if my tsh is in a very small range of around 0.5 to 0.9 which doesn't make life easy - outside of that range my body over reacts and I get strong symptoms. Oh & when I go hyper I have the same symptoms as hypo and start gaining weight so it's hard to guess which direction I've gone in. I'm beginning to understand why the endo tells me he finds me "interesting" and I ink the word challenging has been used too hahahahaha

We really can't work out what my system is doing or why it won't settle - my thyroid problem is auto immune (hashimotos) so that might be why I went hyper before as I could have been going through a period where my thyroid kicked in to action again which can happen with hashis but I also have a very high positive auto immune test for rheumatoid type stuff & have lots of joint problems & immunity stuff going on such as being allergic to the sun etc. my endo is convinced that whatever that is is causing the problem & somehow stopping my thyroid meds from working properly - I do always seem to be worse when I've picked up some kind of illness or if my joints are bad. What we don't know is if the flare up causes my thyroid to be worse or if my thyroid being bad is what is causing the flare up.

The biggest problem is that they can't find what is causing the really high ana result as those levels usually indicate either lupus or rheumatoid arthritis and I've tested negative for both - although the number of lupus symptoms that I display is surprising to keep testing negative for that one. Hopefully if rheumatology listen to me they'll be able to get test results that finally make sense.

In the meantime I'm off to the hospital this morning for a scan on my neck to see if that explains why my head did the whole numb thing with a brain scan to follow in a couple of weeks.

Oh & I stepped on the scales this morning - my weight is up by quite a bit which I'd guessed on how I feel at the moment. I'm so annoyed with it - I know that I would have gained a bit over my birthday week but the gain is too high based on what I've eaten - my local doctors took 3 weeks to realise that the lab hadn't sent them the test results despite me rigging up every day and if they'd go en me the results even two weeks ago I could have increased my meds the . So by this stage not only would I not be struggling so much but the weight gain wouldn't be so bad. It's pretty much how i regained the weight in the first place and is beyond frustrating some times - I just hope i can get it under control before too much damage is done

Oh well - no point in me worrying about it. All I can keep in mind is that if I hadn't been sticking to ww the gain would have been worse & keep going with it.

 

[Mifford]

Bleugh - been up half the night sick. Starving hungry this morning but even drinking some very diluted squash is turning my stomach so don't think I dare risk anything as I need to work today.

No weigh in tonight for me - in some ways it's good as I know I've still got a gain from my birthday week that hadn't been recorded yet but at the same time it's frustrating as I want to get it recorded so I have the mental boost of seeing it start to come off. At this rate it will be three weeks since the previous weigh in & even if I've lost weight it might still show as a gain on the scales from last time - knowing its not as big a gain as it would have been isn't the same as seeing it come off lol

Oh well - with another stomach bug chances are I'll have a good loss this week!!!

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hope u feel better soon!! Xx

 

[Mifford]

So yesterday I managed to keep down rice cakes but nothing else - feeling a lot better this morning so I've cleared my fridge of all food that's been in there too long, looked at what I have in my freezer & cupboards rather than keep buying stuff I'm not using & decided to go back to basics instead of keep trying to make fancy stuff. So it's back to things like chicken, potato & veg and jacket potato or tins of soup for lunch etc.

Today seems like a good day to restart (yet again) and I have in my head that I WILL be weighing next week solid better get on with it!

Now I just need to get my ww app to switch back from simply filling so I can count my points but today's plan is... (edit: now updated)

Breakfast
Oats so simple (3)

Snack
Banana

Lunch
Tin of Heinz big soup (6)
Mullet fruit corner (5)

Snack
Fruit

Dinner
Pork (5)
Ratatouille (0)
Potato (3)
Tin of pineapple (drained)

General
Milk (3)

Total so far = 25/31

With any luck the fact My stomach is still sensitive will stop me from wanting the sugary rubbish and I can get that craving beat again too

 

[Mifford]

I weighed myself this morning to see where I'm at. If my scales are accurate I think I'd gained 4lbs from the weigh in before my birthday and I've taken 1lb of that back off this last week. So that's 3lb to take off to get me back where I was before. With any luck if I track all week I might be able to get down to either a sts or only a very small gain at next weigh in and then I can get back to getting down lower again once my meds kick in.

I'm trying to work out how many more weeks until Christmas - I think it's about 5 and if I can I'd like to get down by 7lbs before then - might be tricky with my thyroid being off but I'll give it my best shot to make sure Xmas doesn't do too much damage. At the least I want to hot my 10% which is around about 5lbs down I think but not sure. I'll have a better idea where I am once I'm officially weighed next week as my scales are a bit hit and miss so not overly reliable

 

[missybct]

I hope you are feeling better - sounds like you're having a tough time with the doctors and health in general xxx

 

[Mifford]

Thanks missy - its probably nowhere near as bad as it reads my thyroid causes a lot of other rubbish when it's not right and that's responsible for a lot of it but I also have immunity problems and it means that I pick up bugs very easily which my body then overreacts to so it knocks me for six when it happens. Good news is that this week the stomach bug seems to have disappeared quite quickly and looks like it was a 48 hour thing

Staying on track today and the menu is as follows....

Breakfast
2 x boiled egg (4)
2 slices ww bread toasted (3)
Grapefruit (0)

Lunch
Jacket potato (4 est)
Tin of tuna (2)
Sweetcorn (2)
Apple (0)

Dinner
Low fat beef escalope (3)
Philadelphia (2)
Egg noodles (6)
Veggies (0)
Melon (0)

General
Milk (3)

Total = 29/31

 

[Mifford]

I started today with muesli & yogurt - there's me looking at a 50g portion thinking it doesn't look a lot & it's muesli so it's got to be good right? Ummm no!! Five points!!!!!!! :-0. I had no idea muesli was so high - last time I did it I didn't even weigh it thinking its good for me. I will admit its taking me forever to eat though so hopefully that means it'll keep me fuller for longer.

I have jacket potato with cottage cheese & salad planned for lunch though as yesterday's jacket got switched for a ham sandwich as was too busy so that should make the points average out better - not sure what is happening for dinner. Depending on how work goes I might get to the cinema later in which case popcorn will probably be dinner but if not it'll be steamed fish & veggies so again that'll be good.

Anyone know how many points in a small cinema sweet popcorn?

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Not sure about popcorn sorry not high I don't think... Diary looking good. U will get 7 off by Christmas xx

 

[Mifford]

Well I have no idea now quickly thyroid increases are meant to kick in band i know i usually stArt to feel better about 5 days in but the last couple of nights I've still struggled to get to sleep but once i am asleep I've stayed that way, nice long lie in this morning & woken up feeling sooooooooo much better and with energy - I feel pretty much 'normal' again so I just hope that lasts - and it feels like everything has kicked back into place really quickly. Not perfect yet but definitely a huge amount better than it was before.

And more importantly I stepped on the scales to see how I was doing as I'm fitting in my jeans better again and I'm down 3lbs this week already!!! Holy moly! So that takes off all the weight gain since my birthday so hopefully it'll stay at least at this point until weigh in on tuesday evening and if I'm really lucky might keep going down before then

Didn't make the cinema in the end so didn't have the popcorn but the friend I was going with came round for the evening as she's having a nightmare at work at the moment and needed to get that off her chest and get another perspective on how to handle it. Did have a few treats so I think I the end I was 3 points into my weeklies which isn't bad. Might do cinema tomorrow instead - not sure yet - but I can plan for that better and take treats with me

No real plan for today - I've started having 'brunch' being a fruit smoothie. Will probably do another jacket potato for lunch - my food order didn't turn up in time yesterday so I have the cottage cheese and salad to use still. Dinner will either be lentil casserole or quinoa and veg or I still haven't had the steamed fish I've been planning for the last couple of days!

All going well this week and determined to keep it that way - it's amazing how much easier I find it to stick to when my thyroid is less out of sync. Oh except I'm being a lot more flexible with it at the moment as in getting various options in with my shopping at enables me to have a rough plan of what I'll eat this week but I'm able to change it depending on how I feel that day and stay on plan - the theory is that the mental side will be easier if I'm being less rigid and more 'normal' and hopefully that'll help me cope better at times like Christ,as when I have no control over what meals I'm having

 

[Michillinwoman]

Hi Miff . Glad to hear your thyroid is back on track . I had my bloods done again with the consultant on wednesday and she is also going to check the estrogen etc to see if the Menopause is causing the bleeding im "still" having at the moment (not as bad but still there after 10 days on Tablets) . I had a bad week with a big breakout on the "sweets" side (causing depression and anxiety to come back with a bang )but am back on track yesterday and today. I havnt even gone on the scales to see if theres any damage. !!! . People tell me i'm pale which is probably due to blood loss ... think I will go back to my GP on Monday .

 

[Mifford]

Get a note of what your levels are when you get your results - most people need their tsh around the 1.0 level or at least at the lower end of the range to feel well but a lot of docs are happy with levels being higher and will tell you they are ok. If you are anything from 2 upwards I'd definitely look at pushing for a meds increase to see if that helps

I would be amazed if you weren't anaemic after bleeding that long which won't help you feel better - are you taking any iron tablets at all?

So this morning I tried on my tommy hilfiger jeans that I couldn't get above mid thigh 6 months ago. On. Fitting. Done up. Wahooooooooooo. Admittedly they aren't comfy to wear yet and cause major muffin top but another 4 or 5lb and they will be wearable. They are my new target for Xmas and I've hung them on the outside of my wardrobe for thinspiration

Haven't tracked today as never good at logging things on weekends but missed breakfast, had 4 slices of ww bread with ham sandwiches, a pack of walkers light crisps and a meringue for lunch and dinner was roast lamb with roast potatoes followed by 0% fat Greek yoghurt with summer fruit sauce added so although I've not tracked my points there's nothing hideously bad in there so I'm happy.

Oh and lady week started today so I'm hoping that won't throw my weigh in Tuesday!

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Hope ur ok x

 

[Mifford]

So I have two days to get through and I've done my first full week being back on track for a while

I ended up pointing yesterday's meal last night and was absolutely stunned to discover that the little bit of roast lamb I had was 15 points on its own!!!! :-o it wasn't even that nice! I knew lamb is generally higher than other meats as its quite fatty but I was seriously shocked that it was that high. I was very over my dailies yesterday in the end - still well within my weeklies but annoying to have had to use quite a few of them without the meal really being worth it and won't be making that mistake again. I guess that's what the weeklies are there for but still annoyed I didn't check it first - hopefully I won't have done too much damage.

Haven't planned lunch yet as going to see what I fancy by then but the rest of the days plan is ...

Breakfast

Pineapple smoothie with flaxseed oil (3)

Dinner

50g pasta (5)
Prawns (3)
Stir fried veg (1 for olive oil)

Meringue nests x 2 (3)
Fruit (0)
Low fat Squirty cream (1)

General
Milk (3)

Total so far = 19/31

I'm thinking maybe a jacket potato with cottage cheese & some stir fried veggies for lunch but I have a meeting just before then so it depends on if I have time to sort it - it might end up being a chicken sandwich instead

 

[Mifford]

So weigh in tonight and I get on the scales this morning and I'm up 3lbs since yesterday... What?????! How is that even possible???!

I freaking hate my screwed up system sometimes - aaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Let's hope it sorts itself back out by 6pm or I will not be happy

 

[Mifford]

Down 1/2lb from my last weigh in which means I still have 1/2lb of the amount I gained to take back off but I also know that I'd gained quite a bit on the weeks in between so I'm happy.

Unfortunately I'm also in morning as our leader announced tonight that it was her last one and she is leaving. I think I've said on here before how fantastic she is and now she really helps me to keep going and the idea of trying to do this without her is REALLY scary. More than that though is that I now think of her as a friend as well and a couple of us made it clear tonight that she had better be keeping in touch - if nothing else she CAN'T leave without us having a leaving do for her!

Right - now I'm off to send her an email to make her cry and try and stop the panic attack I can feel starting - I'm not kidding either

 

[Mifford]

So today is my first day staying on track without my leader there supporting me in the background its freaking scary! I'm seriously panicking at the idea of having to get on the scales with someone knew and having had bad leaders in the past I REALLY hope we get a good me that makes the meetings as much fun as they are now so I want to stay each week because I know that what I get from them is a big part of keeping ,e on track. This means that I've now got to motivate myself to keep going and I won't have that thing in the back of my head that when I want to quit and go do it the easy way I can't because there's no way my leader is going to let me just stop without chasing me & after all the support she's given me in that particular week I can't let her down. Having that there all the time has made it a darn sight easier than its going to be when I only have myself to answer to because if I'm the only one asking the question it's very easy to give myself whatever answer I want to hear! Lol

Having said that when I checked my phone this morning I hadn't realised there was a text on there last night from her asking how I was doing - there are a couple of us that she knows have had a rough time of the years with the weight thing who really need the backup that she gives and I have the feeling that at least two of us will still be getting regular checks from her to keep us going - plus I've told her that if she doesn't keep in touch then I'm going to go round her house every week and make her weigh me anyway lol

Anyway - I'm now thinking that I'd better pull my head out of my bottom and do everything I can to get the weight off as quick as I can and get to goal just in case I either end up with a horrible leader or, even worse, they close our meetings again and I lose the group support. Today's menu is as follows:-

Breakfast (2)

Fresh fruit salad (0)
Almonds (2)

Snack
Weight watchers bar (2)

Lunch (5)

Roasted butternut squash (1 for the olive oil)
Beet root (0)
Half tub cottage cheese (2)
Low fat chocolate mousse (2)

Snack
Dairy lea triangle (1)
Crispbreads (3)

Dinner (11)

Pork loin escalope (7) - need to weight this as not sure it'll be that high but I'm staffer over estimating
100g potato (2)
Ratatouille (0)
Meringue nest (1)
Squirts cream (1)
Fresh fruit salad (0)

General (3)

Skimmed milk (3)

Total so far = 27/31

Even with that much food I'm going to be under my points today but I'm not worrying about it - we were introduced to the new slightly reduced points thing last night and the new flexible options ... Which is basically what I've been doing all along and they've stolen my plan! Lol. My points haven't actually reduced but if those on 29 can come down by 3 then I am more relaxed that it's ok for me to do the same. I'm sure by the end of the week I'll have made them back up again