A hard day - Day 152 on LL

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Cerulean, 8 June 2007 Social URL.

  1. Cerulean

    Cerulean Gold Member

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    I almost cracked today. My chatterbox has been having a right go at me about how saggy my bum looked in the mirror, about how wrinkly my armpits are, about how inadequate I felt at work today and how I just might as well eat. Of course my chatterbox is ignoring my firm upper torso, my almost entirely vanished cellulite, my amazing cheekbones and all the wonderful things that are emerging this week. It's just a bad week - I droop for a couple of weeks and then it catches up and gets perkier - I have to keep remembering that.

    Thing is I have 152 perfect days of abstinence under my belt - I don't want to give up. I don't want to break the pact with myself. I don't want to entertain the thought of failure for a second. I have won. I am just climbing the podium to get my medal at this stage!

    I have a deep need to prove to myself that the quitter, the pathetic wretch I thought I was for giving up and eating in all those times of crisis - that she isn't me. The person that is me is the dedicated, committed, thoughtful, strong woman that has stuck with this every inch of the way and been modest about my successes when appropriate and bloody proud of them too.

    I always knew I was beautiful even when I was over 18st. But now I just feel like that beauty is enhanced by my strength of will and perseverance.

    I know that now is where the hard work begins. I need to start getting ready to let the food back in and to watch my thoughts and behaviour as carefully and lovingly as I will chew and enjoy each bite. So I will start to prepare and take excellent care of myself, inside and out.

    I think I need to start logging this all much more closely - so I will start using my extrapounds blog more.

    Oh - and also - you may not recognise me - and this was filmed when I was about 2 stone heavier than I am now but about 4 stone into my LL journey...but I'm the one in the blonde wig and the black dress...

    YouTube - New Royal Family - Anyone Fancy a Chocolate Digestive?

    I am going to keep on going - because I have to. Because this has worked. Because I deserve it. And because I will look amazing in a US size 6 Diane Von Furstenberg dress!
     
    Tiger Girl and Sez like this.
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  3. Sez

    Sez has started again!!

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    A fabulous post and an inspiration to those of us who are truly in this for the long haul.

    I have sadly slipped from the LL wagon a couple of time (my rebellious child shouted loudest and longest) but I have hauled myself back on board and am determined, as you are, to see this through.

    I am so glad you know you are gorgeous. That is something which I hope for me, will come in time.

    I read your post with hope and I will watch you succeed...after you did wear that Summer kini on your hols....the world is your oyster!!

    xx
     
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  4. Cerulean

    Cerulean Gold Member

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    Thank you Sarah

    Your response was exactly what I needed tonight - I felt really out on a limb. Thanks.
     
  5. Bethany246

    Bethany246 Banned

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    Hi Sarah
    Please dont give up now you have done so well with losing 5 stone it will be a shame to slip back and you have also lost inches too.
    you have helped me and advised me on exercises to tone down thighs Thanks again Sarah
     
  6. Tiger Girl

    Tiger Girl Full Member

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    Sarah - I loved your post. It really summed up a lot of what the LL journey can be like.
    I see from your ticker that you've only got 30lb to go. Is that your end goal or your getting into management goal? You've done brilliantly so far.
    :D
     
  7. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    Come on now girl hang in there! OK some days it IS by your fingertips but you are SOOOOO close! This lovely process does get tedious (exp when icecream vans out!) but SOOO worth it! Wouldnt have recognised you in the video (bizarre that its about digestives though!!) and you can be rightfully proud in getting into a dress THAT small!! Got any piccies of it? Let us know if e can do anything to help but huge hugs for you meanwhile! You can do it!!
     
  8. Lottyfern

    Lottyfern Full Member

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    Loved your post you've done brilliantly please don't give up and loved the video made my day thank you
    [​IMG]
     
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