A quandry...

[Miss Demeanour]

Ladies of the exante forum, I need your thoughts...

I was going to use this as a blog post, but figured I'd actually ask you all - if nothing else, it's a break from talking about the mechanics of the diet, taste, flavour, and how well were all doing...

I'm getting married in October. But before you start, I'm not 'losing weight for the wedding' or 'to look nice in the pictures', quite frankly I'd get hitched tomorrow. The diet and the wedding are not connected. (Diet has more to do with a low-level persistent ache in my hip, that it was about time I did something about.)

Anyway, I digress. If anything, the diet is causing rather annoying dress issues.

I bought a frock before I started, it is clearnow it's not going to fit. (S'ok, it was a bit of a compromise dress, and I won't lose much on it. I was adamant at the time that I wasn't going to spend a fortune on a frock I'll only wear once.)

However have just spotted another on ebay, from a designer I was coveting in the US, second hand, at over £120 less than the 'new' price, making it quite affordable (assuming they'll ship from the US at a reasonable price, but US people are usually helpful on that front.)

To the heart of the matter - it's about 4 sizes smaller than I am now.

Now, the first reaction most of you will have 'it'll be a good incentive to stay on track!' I hear ya. 4 sizes, 7 months. Doable.

However, if it all goes a bit Pete Tong on the diet front, it also could be an expensive depressing mistake, only compounding my already crushing sense of failure.

it also means a complete change of colour scheme. As accessories are already bought to match dress 1, it'll mean flogging them on ebay (from where hence they all came) and starting over. Not the biggest deal in the world, but it means I'll have to be organised all over again, and maybe a loss on the stuff bought and sold.

So whaddya think?

1) Do I hold on, wait until the summer to buy a dress, take stock of size of self, see what's available then and at least try to match it with the stuff I've already bought? or

2) take a gamble on a dress that's interesting, a bit unusual, I've not seen one second hand on ebay before, the sort I want, at a price that's not unreasonable, but in a comedy size?


Sensible head, or impulsive head?

 

[Magggie]

4 dress sizes is usually about 3/4 stone for me

I bet something even nicer will come up, or go to a dress maker that can do you a copy (theres those on ebay too)

Your body will change so much if you lose that much weight, and you will have a completely new outfit outlook

 

[Miss Demeanour]

It's probably going to be another 4st from here. Can't really afford a dressmaker, but I'll have a look...

 

[Yambabe]

Dilemma indeed, especially for you cos I know how you like to have stuff planned "just so" well in advance of the occasion.

For me it would be 1) no contest, but then I live my life in a much more haphazard and disorganised way to you!

However, you also need to remember what a talent you have for finding all the slightly out-of-the-ordinary stuff that is so "you", and then sometimes adapting or adjusting it to make it even more "you" and usually even more amazing.

I wouldn't worry too much about missing out on this particular dress, hell if all goes well it might even be too big for you by October!

The stress of knowing "that" dress is in the wardrobe but may not fit (either way!) by then is just an extra pressure you don't really need imo.

 

[Miss Demeanour]

Thanks, I'm glad I consulted you peeps first Collectively, that is indeed the sensible answer.

I can seriously go off on a tangent at times...


And thankyou Yam, I really like what you said.

 

[mush]

there is also the dilemma that alot of wedding dresses are actually a size smaller than their advertised size, thats what i found when i got my dress

 

[PinkyEyes]

I'm a terrible one for 'buying to slim into' - I have half a wardrobe of clothes I've never been able to fit into.
Personally, I am holding off on buying my wedding dress until I have lost more weight - the dress I would pick for before I had lost any weight might not be the dress the 'thinner me' would buy - I might want a completely different style and my wedding date is still over a year away.

 

[Miss Demeanour]

Thanks peeps, you're all right, of course.

I think I just had a flurry of excitement for 10 minutes. However if it was either 1) cheaper, or 2) the right colour, I might well have done...

Instead, I shall swallow hard, and let this one go... *sigh*

 

[Red77]

I'm not even thinking about my dress till end of May where I should be a 'normal' weight, or at least not very far off I hope!
If its too short notice for bridal shops in the UK then I may look to get it custom made in China from a reputable company, I would be too dissappointed if I started looking now to be honest.

Anyhoo, onwards and downwards (on the scales!)

 

[PinkyEyes]

I was considering ordering a dress from China - I adore the 'Hollywood dreams' style dresses, but I am in no way prepared to spend £2500 on a dress I would wear for one day - it's not like you can just pop down to tesco in it afterwards! I've seen some lovely styles on a Chinese dress shop site and at the prices they charge it could be a really smart option.

 

[Red77]

i've heard really good things about Landy Bridal, I'm getting a colour swatch from them any day as I will probably get the bridesmaids dresses from there.

The dresses are SO cheap but my only concern is that I need a lot of er, 'scaffolding' so I'm hesitant for that reason only. I guess I will see how the land lies in May/June but I do know that they can produce and ship within 6-8 weeks which is a big plus for me

 

[PinkyEyes]

I too have scaffolding worries - at first I was insisting on having a dress with straps so I could get a bra underneath it, but now I'm losing weight I'm hoping a strapless might be an option - gotta sort out my bingo wings first! Not sure how well scaffolded the Chinese dresses are, but perhaps a good strapless bra or corset might be the answer...

 

[Red77]

from reading other posts on wedding forums, I think corsets seem to be the way to go but then some people have found that the dress in itself is supportive enough (this I have to see!, lol).

I would prefer not to have straps where possible but I want to make sure I look at myself sitting down in the dress as I think it looks awful when brides have their boobs looking all squashed in.... I want mine safetly tucked away during the day! lol

I can't stand my bingo wings but I'm hoping to have a kind of organza/mesh made that loosely ruffles around me and is sewn into the sides of the dress - not sure if that makes any sense? I want something that is less committed than a bolero but not a wrap or pashmina which I have to 'carry'

think i have confused myself now.........

 

[PinkyEyes]

That is a very good point about seeing how you look sitting down in the dress - my boobs make every opportunity to show off and I don't see why they would behave any better on my wedding day. I definitely want a lace up back on my dress, then my darling maid of honour can strap those bad boys in for the day!
I also want a different dress in a shorter style for the evening reception so that I can do a 'proper' dance with my husband, I'm so darn demanding.

 

[Red77]

i know, people think we are blessed to have big boobs, but they can be such a pain, arriving into places 1 min before me all the time...

Even when I was slimmer, I was a huge fan 'boob-tape' as it just keeps them in the right position rather than letting them run loose all the time, lol. I used to tape them in to plunging bra's so they didn't 'plunge' too far - worked a treat, I even got asked once if they were real as they looked so 'pert and round' - little did they know what lengths I had gone to position them 'just so'

I shall be sleeping in my dress I think! I have forewarned guests not to be surprised if they see me at breakfast still wearing it.

I shall definetly be arming myself with tape and a corset to keep them under control on the BIG day!

(just thought - do any men read this forum? lol)

 

[lou1978]

Hmmm boob tape. I always thought that was just for skinny people with no real boobs or need for a bra.

Will consider investing when I lose more weight and want to show myself off, and remove these baggy jumpers that I am hiding in.

I remember my boobies were a bit deflated last time I lost weight.

 

[Red77]

yeah mine were the same when I lost the weight too but try the tape, it keeps them where they should be

 

[coley144]

For my wedding I got a dress (on ebay!) that laced up so it could go up in size or down. It gave me a bit of wiggle room as I was losing weight but also trying to get pregnant. In the end I lost weight and it fit really well.

 

[Miss Demeanour]

Well, for me corsetry is probably going to be the way to go under the frock. It also makes for a nicer shape, and completely avoids the brastrap dilemma - esp as I plan to go halterneck.

Which probably won't come as a huge surprise for some...

Am also a fan of lace boleros - enough so that you don't feel too 'exposed', but not like you're wearing a jacket. Am watching another one on ebay as we speak.

 

[rosie kate]

Ahh I want a wedding...not sure about the marriage bit just yet tho hehe (plus it would help if I had someone to drag down the aisle...lol) it's probably a good job I'm not in that place yet as I couldn't choose between a nice fairytale traditional wedding or running away and having a rock n roll wedding in vegas, baby! I would probably end up driving everyone mad with my indecision (that's not much different to any other day having said that).