A quest for the old happy Em

Oh dear, WI didn't go well, gained back the 1.5lb I got off the previous week. I know I did nothing to deserve it but it sent me off the rails this week anyway. Rather than say I know I didn't deserve that, it'll come off next week, it's just a blip or * week on its way and carry on as I have been, I went the other way and ate stuff instead!

My other half was away on business so I had the house to myself. I guess I didn't go crazy crazy, but I had some chocolate, cookies, ice cream, fajitas one night, nachos another and some crisps. That was spread over the tail end of the week, not all in one day ;-) Then I went to a BBQ Sunday as well, we had a baguette and crisps for tea on Saturday as well and then yesterday was almost back on track till I ate two salad filled wraps for my tea. Oh, and we ate the last of the American sweets my boyfriend brought home with him so they're all gone now.


Right, clothes are feeling tight, scales say 14 again so today is operation salvage. WI tomorrow so 2 days to help a tiny bit towards getting off the many pounds I'm sure I put on this week. I have a punnet of strawberries, jacket spud and weighed out cheese for lunch, the usual yoghurts and alpen bars and some cherry tomatoes. Tea will be roasted veg, pasta and some low fat pesto.
 
Thanks Jane. I was 100% back on plan Tuesday and Wednesday and I have all my food prepared for the day today to have another 100% day. I need it....gained 2.5lb last night!! Ridiculous. So I've actually not lost any weight since the first week of March, just yo-yo'd around the same weight. Not sure what changed then, I'll have to have a think.

I am hoping to up my Metformin to 3 tablets a day so one after every meal to see if that helps. I'm on quite a low dose at present. Maybe when the B12 levels pick back up that will help too, it can't do your weight loss efforts any good to have your body functioning at anything other than perfect levels of vitamins and important stuff like thyroid and hormone levels can it?

I'm getting a bit of extra exercise the last few days as our car park at work has been reduced in size while building work goes on - cue crazy parking in places that aren't official spaces, lots of angry staff, people driving round looking for a spot and then driving out again and then we're all probably annoying the local residents by parking in their streets as well as the noise of our building work! So I've parked a few streets away and walked in. At least it's cooled down, but I'd rather it was a bit drier ;-) I was soaked through last night and had to towel myself off in the car with my gym towel! Then I went home to change as the heavy wet clothes would have weighed more on the scales :) I did get a honk and a thumbs up from a passing young man in a car so whatever he meant by the honk I'm going to tell myself it was because I looked so good walking along the main road last night ;-) I did have my bag across my body and my other half always says that makes my 'assets' stand out a lot more so maybe it was that! I think it's probably a bit sad that anyone under 25 is a 'young man' to me now :-O
 
I was such an angel and was 100% on plan Tuesday to Friday last week. Saturday and Sunday were a little less so. Saturday the washing machine decided to break - like the other Indesit dodgy models featured on Watchdog the last 2 series ours was an issue with the drum splitting and thankfully I had it switched off with about 3 seconds of the initial loud scraping noise as I was right next to it or it could have demolished the kitchen as well. As it is the drum is buckled out of shape and they'll be taking it away when they deliver the new one next Monday! It's way out of the warranty so although it's never been quite right (had 2 engineers out that say it's fine mind you) I'm just glad to be rid of it and that it didn't explode like some unlucky people have had happen to them. So we ended up in pizza hut for tea but we had our salad bowl, an individual pizza and then took leftovers home for later so it was my meals for the day. Sunday was a roast at my parents, some rice pudding for afters and a slice of cake with a sandwich for tea. So all way over syns wise but calories weren't ridiculous. Then Tuesday I ended up at a conference for the day so I turned down morning patries, mid morning pastries, tried to be as good as possible at lunch with two sandwiches, an onion bajee thing and some small pastry tomato things. There was no salad or fruit or anything so it was that or starve! Mid afternoon I had a biscuit as I was in need of food after a pitiful lunch but tea was sw friendly.

The scales were being kind all week telling me I'd shifted last weeks random huge gain and an extra half pound then Wednesday morning it all went back on in one go. I was so annoyed. At fat club the scales said a STS, same as mine did. I was honestly feeling so teary as I really really tried this week, and I've been taking the extra tablet each day but luckily I'd calmed down before she got to me and I just said to the class that basically I had no idea where last weeks gain came from or why it didn't come off this week. I've eaten loads of strawberries (at least half a punnet a day but sometimes a whole one which is getting to be an expensive habit!) which are suposed to be a super speed food, loads more salads than I'd normally have, so clearly my body is unlike everyone elses in that it doesn't like all the super free food!? I'm going to keep going though now I'm back into the 100% on plan days, I don't want to let it throw me off.

Couple of ladies came back to class last night that were there when I joined in January but had since left. They already sounded like 'repeat offenders' if you like, they were both having a fresh start in January which obviously didn't pan out. One looked much the same but the other who seemed to struggle a lot more had gained a fair bit more than when I'd last seen her which is such a shame. It made me realise that although I'm yo-yoing around 14 stone and really struggling, if I gave up it would pile back on just like that and I'd be in even more trouble.

Came home to bad news on the hospital front as they've cancelled my July appointment. I am so angry!! Not only do they make you wait 3 months between appointments when 1 month would be more appropriate, they then cancel at short notice because the specialist and all his little helpers have a whole month off on holiday so my appointment is now August. I rang to change it but she said they don't work in July. So why send me the original appointment straight after my last appointment knowing full well you'd then move it nearer the time - just to placate us patients and try and not make us realise you're useless or complain at the time. Leave us thinking we have an appointment till the last minute and then cancel it. Even better the letter of confirmation I have at home about the blood test for the week before my appointment -they had no record of that on their system so just as well I don't need it now isn't it. Private is the way to go I think, if only I could actually get a GP's appointment to get the referral ;-) Rant over :)


I'm going to focus on the positives today, it's nearly the weekend, I have a party to go to tomorrow, Saturday I get my cool new washing machine delivered which I'm far too excited about considering it's just white goods! and we're off to see Superman at the cinema. Then Sunday a lovely long lie in. Hurrah.

Have a good day everyone.
 
I know how you feel Emm, I had a STS as well last night and the scales had been kind to me up until yesterday. I even felt slimmer! Hey ho, lets hope that we make up for it next week. xx
 
Thanks Jane. It's just so annoying isn't it when you think you're doing so well to have it not reflected on the scales. I even felt like I had too! Or maybe that was just down to the frequent toilet trips with the increase in my Metformin dosage ;-) TMI, I apologise!
 
Well this week I've upped my water intake as per the weekly class challenge, been good every day except yesterday when someone brought in birthday cake, but the scales are telling me I've gained yet another 2 lb this week!! WTF is going on with me right now. I can only assume it's the thyroid medication as I might not be taking enough of it due to a mix up at the pharmacy. They gave me the wrong brand again and won't change it if you leave the place without checking them first so I've been 2 months on 50mcg and not 75mcg....which would make my metabolism slow down....should all be sorted tonight though as I checked them this time (wrong ones again!!) but they're ordering more which I'll pick up later. Such a faff. The reason I chanced a lower dose was becuase my last blood test implied I was still taking too much so I figured taking a bit less for 2 months would be a good test - tested and proven I think :)
 
Definitely Jane! After going back and finding they hadn't bothered to order the new tablets I had to wait a further couple of days but I'm now taking the correct dose again. I also spoke to someone at fat club who works in a different pharmacy and she told me to send it to her next time :)

This week has been a bit of a write off really, cookies on the weekend, a meal at a friends Saturday night, a meal out on Monday and cheescake in the evening....just been craving all the chocolate stuff this week so it's dawned on me * week is about to show itself again. How does it come round so quick!? Long story short, a pound on this week. So since January I've lost a grand total of 13lb, woo hoo (said with a great deal of sarcasm). There is one other older lady who joined the same week as me who's lost exactly 13lb as well but then she's got a lot less to lose, and a younger girl who's lost almost 1.5stone but hers is probably slower than some as she's not got a lot to lose either.

To be honest I did deserve that gain, I can't blame that on any medication issues, so this week is 100% on plan, writing it all down and no naughties. Should be alright now the cravings have passed ;-)

Monday we went to look at wedding venues (hence the meal out) and saw 3. One was a definite no, one was very nice with pretty grounds but is double the price of the one we've decided on which was also very nice. It's a bit more dated looking than the pricey one but it's clean and tidy and not scruffy and the honeymoon suite is probably the most dated bit which no-one else is going to see but us and we don't really mind. We just need to go and see it all dressed for an actual wedding and then we'll set a date. We're thinking early October next year. We originally thought May but then thought if the last few years are anything to go by then the weather will be better in Autumn. Bet next year it'll swap round ;-) The hotel has sea views and a nice grassed bit for photos with a gazebo type thing, but even if the whole thing is indoors the ceremony room has sea views too. Ok so it's brown sea down our way as it's the Bristol Channel but still...

So just over a year to get this weight off. I have to do it if I buy a dress that's a particular size. Really I'd like to get as much off as possible before dress hunting so I'm trying things on not that far from the end target. I plan on going to the wedding fayre in October again and hopefully getting a dress there.
 
Hope that you have a better week Em. Getting married is a great motivator, enjoy the wedding fayre. xx
 
It was going so well, Thursday and Friday were 100% on plan. Saturday I ate half a pack of pasta 'n' sauce and an alpen bar before going to a BBQ in the evening. I had 2 wholemeal rolls, 3 slices of garlic bread, a spoon of potato salad and the rest was all salad and new potatoes so not too bad. I'd cooked a syn free roulade which Mum liked but everyone else ate and grumbled about. Next time I'll eat it all myself ;-)

Sunday I had 2 rolls for lunch and then come tea time I was hot, feeling lazy and the other half felt like naughties too so we had pizza, and a brownie desert with ice cream. Not good! Oh well, back to it today like a good girl.
 
A loss at last, 2lb off last night. I'm hoping to remain positive and not keep thinking it'll just go back on next week. It won't if I'm 100% on plan will it!

I have a new target to aim for now as well as losing weight for a wedding of course, we've just booked another cruise. It goes on 1st September to Iceland and Norway for 12 nights and looks to be a really well specced ship. We got a last minute half price deal so couldn't say no ;-) So I now need to make sure I shift some pounds prior to that as I will of course be putting plenty back on with almost 2 weeks away. I am going to try my best to opt for egg, beans and fruit and that sort of thing at breakfast, avoid too many pastries and bread rolls and make sure we gym and swim a lot. It has an ice rink and roller blading round a track on board so will have to give those a go too :) I'll be by myself of course as my other half won't do those things! He sits in the hot tub while I swim too :) It'll be the wedding fayre not long after we come back and I was hoping to be back to a size 16 by then if possible!!? Probably not but I can hope ;-)
 
A whole weekend on plan, been a while since I could say that. 10 syns Saturday and 9.5 on Sunday but syns are there to be used aren’t they. I did have my full 2 hexA’s and B’s both days as well so I’ll be trying to avoid any A’s for the rest of the week till WI as I don’t think they tend to help me, especially if I use both in one day on cheese!

So since WI last Wednesday I’ve been 100% and I intend to stick with it till Wednesday to see what sort of loss I get. I did lose 2lb last week which is loads for me so just not having a gain this week would be progress for me but if I could get a loss to reward my efforts that’d be good. Maybe if every pound is so thoroughly worked for I might not let it slide on holiday quite so much!? Yeah who am I kidding ;-) I guess if Royal Caribbean has food as poor as P&O then it might be easier to do – Fred Olsen’s problem was an amazing on board bakery….who can resist fresh rolls 3 times a day and morning pastries, mmmm. So 10lb gained first cruise, 5lb gained last time, 2.5lb this time? I’m looking forward to my hols already as you can tell….12 degrees or glorious coolness. Of course it’ll be cooler here by then too, but the thought of the cool weather is keeping me going through this disgusting weather. I had 5 minutes out in direct sunlight yesterday while hanging the washing and that was too much to bear. I just don’t know how people stand it :-( The heat makes me feel all swollen up and fat.
 
Ok, major shock, 4.5lb off!!? My other half is a little annoyed with me being negative saying 'ah yeah but it's not a real loss and some will go back on next week'. I'm trying to do another 100% week so at least I know I did all I could possibly do to lose some this week too. So far so good but it's only Friday ;-)

I was slimmer of the week and everyone was really shocked as I gain so often! Even the consultant hesitated and looked to be clicking on her PDA to do a double check before she announced my amazing loss :) So 2 losses in a row, I'm the lowest weight I've been this year and if I could lose 1.5lb next week I'd get my club 10 and my 1.5 stone award.
 
Thanks Jane ;)

So far so good this week. Been 100% on plan, no cheating. I have used all 15 of my syns on Saturday and Sunday and all my HexA's which I know is on plan but has made me feel all fat today. The scales are telling me 1lb off this week which if it sticks will be amazing after last weeks loss. I was so tempted to eat other stuff on the weekend, you know those moments where you just think oh one syn extra won't matter....but I checked myself and thought no, you're going to be 100% or you've only yourself to blame if you gain on Wednesday.

I made the syn free macaroni cheese again this weekend with a few tweaks. Next time I make it it'll be perfect I think - then I must remember to re-write the recipe so I don't forget what I did! It was one from the magazine but the garlic was overpowering first time (and I love garlic normally, but left it out this time), the spring onions give an odd taste I don't like so they'll be going next time, and I used 150ml of stock instead of the 400ml the magazine said and I think I'll lower that a bit more too. Who tests recipes in books and magazines I'd like to know!? If I put in all the stock it said I'd have some sort of macaroni soup with curdled yogurt floating around in it, mmmm. I tried quark instead of natural yoghurt this time and I think it was thicker but still has that separated appearance when cooked which tastes fine, just looks gross. I have a portion for my lunch today so hopefully it re-heats ok.

Going to try and keep my syns low today through to Wednesday to maybe balance out the weekend incase 15 syns was pushing my luck. Unfortunately as my other half was ill I still have a portion of macaroni cheese for tomorrow as well so I'll be using my A choice every day. Doesn't tend to agree with me when I do that as it's always cheese as I don't drink milk.

Oh well, feeling good about being 100% so far this week and fingers crossed for a good WI.
 
I could get used to this, another 2.5lb off this week. So I got my Club 10 as well as my 1.5 stone award. They usually give us our stickers and we stick them on ourselves so mine are beautifully straight to please my OCD streak....for some reason the two last night got stuck on my book for me all wonky and I wasn't happy :-( Silly thing to worry about but you know how those little stickers make you feel.

She seemd shocked again that I'd had a loss, that's 9lb in 3 weeks. She asked me to tell the class what I'd done to turn it around so I was honest. I said I have an underactive thyroid so I have to be a lot stricter than most people - so I've been eating about 1000 calories a day and that's it, simple as that. She said 'oh we don't do calories here' and I said I know that and I stick to the SW plan but I tot them up roughly in my head as a double check as I have to be that strict if I want to lose weight - my previous weigh ins are proof of that. I also said there's only so long you can starve yourself for though as it makes you tired and eventually you eat something bad to break the torture but I was going to try and keep denying myself for as long as possible because of my holiday!

Today I got back into a pair of black linen trousers I bought myself at the start of the season. They were snug and I hoped to get in to them before now but nevermind, I'm there now! New clothes are always odd feeling though aren't they, like they're way too tight and you might split the arse on them any moment even though they fit perfectly and this is how normal people dress. You just get used to your big trousers as you slim down so the transition from too big trousers to a pair that fit feels too constricting till you get used to it.

I wore a nice long skirt to work yesterday which I was able to do thanks to my latest purchase of a pair of flesh coloured cycling shorts. I now have no chub rub to worry about and it was so nice to wear a skirt and feel comfy all day. I'm ok if I have tights in the winter, it's just the bare legs that I can't do.

Right, on for another week of 100% on plan punishment ;-) I'm not sure my losses will get me slimmer of the month next week though as there was a 1lb gain first week so I have a total loss of 8lb plus whatever I get next week. Be nice to have that though, I never thought I could get slimmer of the week either so my 2 I have of those are very proud stickers on my book.
 
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