A question about sex as an overweight person...

Your post has made me think of a guy I met about 7 years ago when I was in an overweight phase - about 3 and a half stones at the time. He was so nice but my anxieties meant that I finished with him after a couple of dates.
I now so regret it - I didn't even have the decency to tell him why I was worried about having a relationship- I cruelly implied that I was getting back with an ex.
He was so caring and keen on me, without wanting to sound interested in material things only but he had saved hard and bought an old house in a nice area and done it up, told me such funny stories about work as he was a teacher, and we had lots of shared interests.
Yes, I know now I made a big mistake!!!
Good Luck with your new man, he sounds lovely x
 
Well, I went shopping.

Evans was a nightmare. It was a big store but had hardly anything lingerie wise. They had proper PJs, nothing else.

La Senza had a big sale on so I had a look in there. Size was was awkward because I'm the top end of their back range, and they don't have a lot in that size, but I found a couple of bits. What should have cost me £56 cost me £16!

So I ended up checking out Marks and Spencers. I ended up finding this chemise (http://www.marksandspencer.com/Mark...NodeID=&node=42966030&page=&mnSBrand=core&rh=) which was a pretty good price. They didn't have much either really. I guess it's winter, time for big PJs! lol
 
Last edited:
Blingbabe said:
Your post has made me think of a guy I met about 7 years ago when I was in an overweight phase - about 3 and a half stones at the time. He was so nice but my anxieties meant that I finished with him after a couple of dates.
I now so regret it - I didn't even have the decency to tell him why I was worried about having a relationship- I cruelly implied that I was getting back with an ex.
He was so caring and keen on me, without wanting to sound interested in material things only but he had saved hard and bought an old house in a nice area and done it up, told me such funny stories about work as he was a teacher, and we had lots of shared interests.
Yes, I know now I made a big mistake!!!
Good Luck with your new man, he sounds lovely x
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that, sounds a real shame. I guess if it was meant to be it would have been. Is your confidence any better now?
 
Hi Hun, take a look at Marisota or Simply Be on line, I think they do some nice things which if nothing else might make you feel beter about yourself even its not to impress your chap, we all feel better about ourselves when we have something nice to wear be it new shoes or a slinky baby doll nightie!
Not sure what size you are but Ann Summers go up to a size 22 (I think?)
Good luck and enjoy!!!! X x
 
hidden said:
Well, I went shopping.
Click to expand...

yay for you!!! :D i am doing a cheerfull dance from behind my desk at work :D

And that nightie looks very hot!! i'll bet you'll knock his socks off!!! (and his pants as well :p)

I am also usually in the back end range of what shops have for sexy stuff. I am also always to embarresed to go and buy stuff cause i am afraid they think what would that fat women want with that.
So my husband surpriced me last monday :eek: he came home with a very sexy set and it fitted as well (also explained why he was so interested in my current sizes after i lost 21 lbs :)).

And he love it!!

I bet your boy will do the same!! Just feel confident, and if you don't, don't be afraid to tell him! Let him know why you're nervous :)

And as Jim said, most guys wont mind :) (oh wait, Jim said most guys were dumbasses....) Well, from the sound of yours, he wont mind :D
 
Heya hidden :D

Great that you managed to find some things that you can be comfortable in :D

One thing I do want to say is remember to enjoy yourself and RELAX! When my OH and I finally got around to being together (we met online) we had built the thought of sex together into being so huge a thing that in the end there was a lot of pressure there- it was a bit of a disaster to be honest, probably because I was so nervous and uncomfortable with myself.

Don't get me wrong, we still had a good time but sex part was terrible- now we look back an giggle about it thank goodness, 5 years down the line.

My point is this- try not to put lots of pressure on yourself; be comfortable, relax and just enjoy being together and I'm sure you'll have an amazing time :D xx
 
Id day get a sexy maids outfit or something that will cover you up :) and you will feel nice in it,, or something silky :) try getting a magazine like pabo sent to your house they do allsorts of things to make you feel nice,, go out get your nails done get your hair done put some makeup on., have a few small drinks you should feel like a princess after all that,, he loves you for you and if he didnt he wouldnt stick around :)
 
He really i a good guy, I'm just realising how much! There's so many things about him that make me feel like I'm totally falling for him. As soon as he wakes up he'll text me, and it's always the same start, good morning beautiful. I love that though sometimes he calls me sexy, more than that, he calls me beautiful. He makes me feel like I'm special. Like, he works nights so is asleep at the moment but he just sent me a text saying that he'd woke up to use the bathroom but he wanted to text me before he went back to sleep and said that he hopes i'm ok. He always says about wanting to give me kisses and cuddles, and just hearing him talk about it gives me butterflies in my stomach. The good kind! He's so open and honest with me, about everything. I told him from the start that I hadn't had a proper previous relationship, and had never had sex and he was totally cool with it. He obviously really didn't mind, in fact said that to him it was a good thing, that he wished he could say he hadn't thrown things away so easily. Has said that it's no rush, at all. That he wouldn't ever think about pushing me into anything, that the boundaries are mine to set. That sex is so much more than just sex. I'm starting to realise how amazing a guy he is. How lucky I am. If this doesn't work out long term, I can see I'm going to get hurt. Not on purpose, but things ever not working out with him is going to hurt me because I see how hard I'm falling. Lets just hope it does!
 
even hotter :)

From what i read in your post you have hit the jack pot with him! I am very confedent that you will do great and wont be able to disappoint him. I agree with bubblypenguin here :) don't put to much pressure on it :) relax and most of all! Enjoy!!
 
Heya hun,

I'd just like to echo what everybody else is saying really. I've been in this situation before myself. I eventually worked up the courage and used a sexy nighty. Well lets just say it mustve worked as i am marrying that guy in a couple years time! Just try not to overthink things and worry about it. If he likes you as you are fully clothed then theres not much difference to being in the scud. Youll be fine hunny. Just have fun and enjoy! :)
 
He's just so incredibly fit it makes me feel pretty unfit sometimes. He goes to the gym, a lot. Is toned and very sexy! I often wonder what he sees in me to be honest, not that I'm complaining! I'm going to see him on Saturday, staying over and coming back Sunday, or whenever, may end up being Monday. So i might bring up the topic then and just see what happens. I want to but I know he's going to be kind of reserved about it because he's so adamant on not wanting to rush me or pressure me. So I guess we'll see what happens.
 
Are you actually on Cambridge Diet hidden? Just wondered lol... :)

Fellas are all different. Some are shallow as hell as some are the nicest blokes on earth... im married to the latter (thankgoodness) who is also very 'buff' lol was when i met him 11 yrs ago and still is now...although saying that i was a size 10 then lol but even when i put on weight he never showed less interest etc in sex especially nothing changed.

He sounds really lovely and just go with the flow mainly. Dont think about it all too much :)

It'll all happen when it happens ;) ....naturally x
 
lunar jim said:
You're welcome!

I think in a nutshell I'm saying: generally guys are idiots, dumbasses. But you've found a good one! You'll be just fine.

But I know where you're coming from, I've been so hung up about my body image for years now. I still am, I haven't been swimming for years and years, I finally took the plunge (pun intended :D )a few weeks back at the pool at my gym. But still I chose a time when I knew it would be quiet! But the people who were there didn't care and I've been a lot better since then.

When I went in for my op I was showing my hernia off to allcomers, might have been due to the morphine though lol
Click to expand...


Jim you look amazing!!
 
Too right Jim, I'm sure we could find you a sexy little number!! Lol!!

I'm sure we all must know a very attractive slim person who has no personality, who is only interested in themself and is just downright selfish and big headed and basically not a very nice person.....the saying that beauty is only skin deep is so true and us bigger people must ALWAYS remember this!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Y
Weight loss journey intro -
Replies
5
Views
1K
Zafira
Zafira
L
Start As You Mean To Go On
Replies
7
Views
2K
Visualizing
Visualizing
goose
Goose's final road to goal
Replies
17
Views
2K
goose
goose
tipperary
Tipperary back again
Replies
3
Views
3K
Kittywinks
K
omega_1
Day one for Omega_1 and feeling determined
Replies
6
Views
2K
tipperary
tipperary
Back
Top