A small epiphany

[Blonde Logic]

I just posted a reply to Lady on the hour x hour thread, and it got me thinking.

We often say "I have to" "I must" ....a few examples: I have to do the laundry. I have to feed the animals/children. I have to mow the lawn. I have to lose weight.

(Take aside for a minute the health factor of losing weight and for some it is a matter of life and death - but for those just getting in shape, etc) I think the only one of those we really HAVE to do, is feed the animals/children as we are responsible for them.

Our LLC is very big on the words we use. I imagine it is part of retraining us how to think about things. But by saying we HAVE to do anything, could it just be that emphasis and pressure is what actually stops us from doing things we HAVE to do. It becomes a chore - not a pleasure, just by saying HAVE. Is that the rebellious child? <hands on hips> I don't WANT to do it if I HAVE to do it.

We have spoken often in group about CHOICE and CHOOSING being powerful words.

When we were discussing this the LLC asked us what we felt we "should" do. I replied "I should exercise more." There were varied replies from all of us. SOme weight related and some not.

She then said, and something I myself have said for many years, is that we should wipe the words Should, and Would from our vocabularies as they prevent us from accomplishing things.

She told us to replace the words "I should" with "If I wanted to, I could choose to" insert answer: ....exercise more.

The next day was when I added my ticker for doing crunches. I have always HATED exercise, but since wording it that way, I have not minded, nor missed a days goal of crunches and now leg lifts which for me is astounding. I know I am not doing no marathon, but for me, its a big step even if they are baby steps!! lol

All my life, I have constantly said, "I have to lose weight". It was the very last thought on my mind as I lay my head on the pillow, and then it was the very first thought when I opened my eyes the next day. It weighed on me constantly. And pushed me into a hole. Deeper and deeper until it truly felt out of reach. That it just was not my destiny to ever ever be slim.

When I heard about LL. My first reaction was, "Who the bl**dy h*ll would want to do that!? And who COULD?? NO WAY!" I thought it was the furtherst thing from what I would ever do!! What I COULD do.

But time, thoughts, imagination, etc., got a hold of me, and in the end - I CHOSE to do this diet. Noone coerced me, or encouraged me or pushed me. I looked at the fear factor, and I looked at the length of time of 'sacrifice' and I made a conscious effort to CHOOSE to do it. I can see that now.

I know I am waffling, but I really think, by "choosing" to do this has made it possible for me to stay on track 100% and to have as much determination now, on day whatever, that I did on Day 1.

Choosing gives you just that - a choice. Just a little thing like a choice suddenly seems to remove an awful lot of pressure and give you the control.

Hmm. I wonder.

THanks if you made it all the way through this babble!!

 

[Sappho]

Thats a really good point, made me think..... Thanks for sharing x

 

[tiffanydiamond]

Inspirational as ever BL!!! Thank you xx :grouphugg:

 

[x-Katie-x]

When we were discussing this the LLC asked us what we felt we "should" do. I replied "I should exercise more." There were varied replies from all of us. SOme weight related and some not.

She then said, and something I myself have said for many years, is that we should wipe the words Should, and Would from our vocabularies as they prevent us from accomplishing things.

She told us to replace the words "I should" with "If I wanted to, I could choose to" insert answer: ....exercise more.

I so agree with you - this bit is very apt to me.

You so don't babble xx

 

[lighterlifeclaire]

VERY TRUE....... I am choosing to drink my chocolate shake

... and shock horror... I chose to go to the gym today. Woah!

 

[bexnkev]

BL, I said the same to Mum the other day, she asked why I hadn't done something like LL before and I said it wasn't my time as I didn't want to do it before!! Now I am choosing to lose my weight and that has taken the pressure off me... it has made a huge difference I love your posts cos they are so positive... thank you

 

[minilady]

That's such a powerful post and excellently written...thanks for posting.

I had a conversation today with another CDC who I met through minimins when we were both losing weight on CD and then ended up on the same training course to become CDCs so I met her in the flesh, she is now a firm friend and we keep in touch by phone and email, she dosen't post much on here anymore but she still reads from time to time. I will ask her to read this I know she will love it and it indirectly relates to our conversation.


Would you mind if I plagiarize this post. I think my customers would really benefit from hearing it, I know I have

Tracey
x

 

[Blonde Logic]

Would you mind if I plagiarize this post. I think my customers would really benefit from hearing it, I know I have

Tracey
x

Thanks for all you comments Tracey, and by all means, feel free to share. I'm glad it makes sense!! Sometimes the thoughts are in my head but don't translate well on pen and paper!! But I love that its something you can share with others. Thats quite a complimnet. Thanks hon! XX

 

[Blonde Logic]

Truly food for thought. I believe in choice too. So why when we have made the decision to go on LL do we fall off the wagon. Is this not a choice too, even though its one we are sorry for and could kick oursleves when we realise what we have done. Is this not some sort of a choice too? I am asking because I am trying to understand why I recently had a little slip myself because more than anything I want to be on LL and lose the weight but I made a slip and no-one was holding a gun to my head.

It has taught me that I need to have a much tigher rein on my emotions and thoughts and actions.

Hi MsPraise. Now we might be getting into more of the psychology of it all with your question, and I don't know the answer to that. But I believe that everything we do, at some level we choose to do it, even the bad stuff- be it a conscious choice or a subconscious choice. And not all choices we make are good ones. I am living proof of that, but thats a whooooole other story! Some here have made conscious choices to "slip" and then they get back on plan, and then others have slipped without knowing why, such as yourself. I haven't crossed that bridge yet myself, (and fingers crossed, I won't - but there is every chance I will...its still relatively early days for me!!)

The main thing is don;t feel bad. I said one to Lady, we are all LEARNING a new way to deal with food on LL. We are not just cutting calories - this is all new to us. We are students. And students WILL make mistakes - to varying degrees - just as in school - but the main thing is we all learn, and we learn from our mistakes as much as anything. So its ok if you have a slip - you just go at it again, and maybe the nest time you are tempted you might have learnt something from the previous time and will be more able to resist temptation, or to choose not to be tempted?

You'll get there. We all will.

xx

(I hope that makes sense - I really shouldn't post before I have my first cup of coffee!!! lol)

 

[Tange]

Wow BL that really did make me think too. I like you spent years saying to myself I have to loose weight. Now I choose to do it and I am enjoying it.

Saph I think we also choose to sabotage ourselves lets face it we have been doing it for years. Because we know we can choose does not mean we will choose the right things all the time I guess. (I am just giving my thoughts here)
I am thinking I need to ask why after every choice I make in my head. eg. I want to do LL? Why? because I want to loose weight. Why? because I want to feel better and look better. Why? etc etc. maybe if those all are positives we know the choice is right. If I said I am going to choose to eat a piece of (insert demon of choice) and then ask why I know that I would end up with an I don't know soon enough.


See here I am also rambling. But just my thoughts.

I love this website!