scooper
Full Member
I know this is a very long post, but I'd really like some advice.Thanks for those of you who do take the time to read it all. It made my own eyes bleed!:break_diet: I'd like to also stress that not once in the past 102 days have I cheated, tasted, dipped my finger in, or let a morsel of food pass these lips. I am to the point of wanting to swap to the Cambridge Diet now. So here's the story and emails:
During our very last Foundation meeting my LL Counselor decided to focus the last part of the whole meeting on me and my decision to eat when I go home in July. So I took over a week to think about what she said and I emailed her because I felt I could put into words how I felt and the concerns I had. After that paticular group several of the ladies felt that I had been singled out and picked on in a way that went overboard. I have always maintained from the very beginning my intentions to eat when I go home for a visit and to Las Vegas this summer so I really was hurt with my LL Counselor's responses in that group. Am I wrong to still feel as if what I said and asked in my email to not have been addressed and the sole focus about not eating? I want to stress that it's not a typical holiday because I am going home-I don't have to go and eat all the "bad" American food.
My email to her:
Hi ***,
I know how busy you are in class, so I thought maybe it would be best to email you with a few questions I have. As you know, I am SO SO focused on this diet. Today I reached my one hundredth day milestone. It's amazing when I look back over my journey and see how far I've come and what I have learned about my life and ways to improve life as well.
At our last Foundation meeting we discussed my trip home. I did understand your points and took them in, but I would still like to eat when I go home. I don't plan on going crazy or eating three meals every day for the whole three weeks, but I do want to eat in moderation and have a piece of cornbread(LOL). I just am scared of eating again really, but I know that I can do it and stay focused. I was thinking about using it as an exercise to see what I have learned and what areas I am weak in. I also know that most of the food that I will be eating at home should be for the most part healthy as we plan on BBQ'ing a lot and I can throw some fish on and have some lovely fresh salads. I am not really bothered with the other stuff. In fact, I'd like to keep it ruled out because I'm not there yet and just because I would like to eat doesn't mean I should go and have the whole hog so to speak. I plan to go back on the diet the Saturday we return and understand that I have until around November/December before I get near my goal weight.
The question is how do I go about it? Should I start eating lightly the week before we leave so that I can or won't be ill on the way? I'd like to maintain three shakes a day and only have one meal a day and some days only have packs as I don't see the need to eat every single day while I am there. Will I still have a place in Development if I have been gone for three Sundays in a row? Do I need to purchase a whole three weeks worth of packs or will it be ok to use what extra packs I already have? I know this is a lot of questions and a very long email. It's just that there is only nine weeks until I travel and I am starting to get very scared about what to do.
Her response:I completely understand where you are coming from, but I cannot stress enough that you must keep your total focus on where you are going to!! It is, of course, your decision and always will be, the only advise I can give you is based on my own experience, other client experiences and obviously the guidance within the Programme.
At the end of the day this is only ONE holiday of many more to come. I know you are going home to see your mum but surely wouldn't you like her to see how determined you are to achieve your goal and get your health and life back, she would be so proud of you. The cornbread will always be there and just think how sweeter it will taste when you are a size 12! I am sure your family, your memories and everything else you are hoping to see whilst you are there, will all still be the same with or without food. I know you say you are very focussed and will get back on as soon as you get home, but is it worth the risk that you may not be so focussed once you have eaten, your mindset is changed and is never as strong as it is now.
I had many clients with the same dilema over Xmas with all the reasons and justifications, and the resolve they would be back on track straight after. Unfortunately the only clients that are still on track or maintaining their target weight, are those that DID remain abstinent over Xmas. I have spoken to some of those that did eat and they have all said they wished they hadn't and some have said they are coming back on the programme, but so far still have not managed to get back 'in the zone'. Although they admitted it was very hard, those that did keep their resolve are so glad they did not eat.
What you are faced with, is can you make a painful short term sacrifice for your long term gains?? Bear in mind that it is nothing to do with the food or what you do or do not eat (healthily or otherwise), it is the fact that you have made a commitment to yourself to get to a target weight. If you break that commitment for one holiday, it is so easy to justify breaking it again for some other 'occasion'.
To try and help you arrive at your decision, write down what your thoughts and feelings will be when you return, if you did stick to your commitment and continue to lose weight, and then how you think you will feel if you decide to eat. What will your thoughts and feelings be just before you step on my scales? and more importantly, where will you be this time next year??
Unfortunately we are all good at moving our boundaries to fit 'certain' justifications, but this is why we have a weight problem. We satisfy the short term need and hope that the long term will still happen.
I am sorry Sally if this all appears a bit harsh, but I have seen the results of others that have not achieved their goal weight within the FIRST hit, so my only advise without a shadow of doubt would be...... REMAIN ABSTINENT it will be so worth it. Remember NOTHING tastes as good as being slim - even cornbread!!
Hope you are feeling better with your back and hopefully see you on Sunday. You have plenty of time to consider your thoughts and everything I have said above, but please think long term and not short term. This is a win-win situation, but only if you are prepared to make the short term sacrifice.
During our very last Foundation meeting my LL Counselor decided to focus the last part of the whole meeting on me and my decision to eat when I go home in July. So I took over a week to think about what she said and I emailed her because I felt I could put into words how I felt and the concerns I had. After that paticular group several of the ladies felt that I had been singled out and picked on in a way that went overboard. I have always maintained from the very beginning my intentions to eat when I go home for a visit and to Las Vegas this summer so I really was hurt with my LL Counselor's responses in that group. Am I wrong to still feel as if what I said and asked in my email to not have been addressed and the sole focus about not eating? I want to stress that it's not a typical holiday because I am going home-I don't have to go and eat all the "bad" American food.
My email to her:
Hi ***,
I know how busy you are in class, so I thought maybe it would be best to email you with a few questions I have. As you know, I am SO SO focused on this diet. Today I reached my one hundredth day milestone. It's amazing when I look back over my journey and see how far I've come and what I have learned about my life and ways to improve life as well.
At our last Foundation meeting we discussed my trip home. I did understand your points and took them in, but I would still like to eat when I go home. I don't plan on going crazy or eating three meals every day for the whole three weeks, but I do want to eat in moderation and have a piece of cornbread(LOL). I just am scared of eating again really, but I know that I can do it and stay focused. I was thinking about using it as an exercise to see what I have learned and what areas I am weak in. I also know that most of the food that I will be eating at home should be for the most part healthy as we plan on BBQ'ing a lot and I can throw some fish on and have some lovely fresh salads. I am not really bothered with the other stuff. In fact, I'd like to keep it ruled out because I'm not there yet and just because I would like to eat doesn't mean I should go and have the whole hog so to speak. I plan to go back on the diet the Saturday we return and understand that I have until around November/December before I get near my goal weight.
The question is how do I go about it? Should I start eating lightly the week before we leave so that I can or won't be ill on the way? I'd like to maintain three shakes a day and only have one meal a day and some days only have packs as I don't see the need to eat every single day while I am there. Will I still have a place in Development if I have been gone for three Sundays in a row? Do I need to purchase a whole three weeks worth of packs or will it be ok to use what extra packs I already have? I know this is a lot of questions and a very long email. It's just that there is only nine weeks until I travel and I am starting to get very scared about what to do.
Her response:I completely understand where you are coming from, but I cannot stress enough that you must keep your total focus on where you are going to!! It is, of course, your decision and always will be, the only advise I can give you is based on my own experience, other client experiences and obviously the guidance within the Programme.
At the end of the day this is only ONE holiday of many more to come. I know you are going home to see your mum but surely wouldn't you like her to see how determined you are to achieve your goal and get your health and life back, she would be so proud of you. The cornbread will always be there and just think how sweeter it will taste when you are a size 12! I am sure your family, your memories and everything else you are hoping to see whilst you are there, will all still be the same with or without food. I know you say you are very focussed and will get back on as soon as you get home, but is it worth the risk that you may not be so focussed once you have eaten, your mindset is changed and is never as strong as it is now.
I had many clients with the same dilema over Xmas with all the reasons and justifications, and the resolve they would be back on track straight after. Unfortunately the only clients that are still on track or maintaining their target weight, are those that DID remain abstinent over Xmas. I have spoken to some of those that did eat and they have all said they wished they hadn't and some have said they are coming back on the programme, but so far still have not managed to get back 'in the zone'. Although they admitted it was very hard, those that did keep their resolve are so glad they did not eat.
What you are faced with, is can you make a painful short term sacrifice for your long term gains?? Bear in mind that it is nothing to do with the food or what you do or do not eat (healthily or otherwise), it is the fact that you have made a commitment to yourself to get to a target weight. If you break that commitment for one holiday, it is so easy to justify breaking it again for some other 'occasion'.
To try and help you arrive at your decision, write down what your thoughts and feelings will be when you return, if you did stick to your commitment and continue to lose weight, and then how you think you will feel if you decide to eat. What will your thoughts and feelings be just before you step on my scales? and more importantly, where will you be this time next year??
Unfortunately we are all good at moving our boundaries to fit 'certain' justifications, but this is why we have a weight problem. We satisfy the short term need and hope that the long term will still happen.
I am sorry Sally if this all appears a bit harsh, but I have seen the results of others that have not achieved their goal weight within the FIRST hit, so my only advise without a shadow of doubt would be...... REMAIN ABSTINENT it will be so worth it. Remember NOTHING tastes as good as being slim - even cornbread!!
Hope you are feeling better with your back and hopefully see you on Sunday. You have plenty of time to consider your thoughts and everything I have said above, but please think long term and not short term. This is a win-win situation, but only if you are prepared to make the short term sacrifice.