Advice on hirsutism please!

[xxLisa85xx]

Hi everyone,

I'm brand new to the forums and joined because I have suffered with PCOS for the majority of my adult life (I'm 26). The most difficult part of the condition is the excess body hair. I am literally covered from head to toe in hair; I can grow a beard in 3 days. I don't get out much, purely because the inconvenience of shaving and the anxiety that comes with it (has it grown back? Do I have shaving rash? Can anyone see where it's been?) makes me favour sitting in front of my computer for social interation.

I'm used to the fact I have to shave now, I did try waxing but the hair is so course it took a bit of skin off and left the hair behind. The rest of the hair is covered up with clothes, aside from a few hairs on my chest that are easily maintained.

The reason I need advice is because I have a new, let's say, romantic interest. He's a friend of a friend and we met over 3 years ago but he was in a relationship at the time, but there was no denying we found each other attractive. He lives approx. 20 miles away, and I don't drive so would be relying on public transport, and he works 9 - 5 so I would be going over to his house on the last bus out there. Obviously this means I would have to stay the night. I'm very self concious, not least because of the hirsutism, I am also very overweight. I tend not to stay over at other people's houses because by morning I have very noticable stubble on my chin. I've been skirting around the issue here so I'm just going to come out with it...I'm nervous about having sex with him as there's no way I can rid myself of all the hair on my body. Because I am overweight I can't reach some areas to get rid of it (the bum area).

This is very hard for me to talk about as I find it so embarrasing even thought it's a medical condition and out of my control. I can't bring myself to tell him about it, I'm scared he'll get a bit freaked out by it.

Even though the obvious solution is to not stay over, I feel I deserve a bit of happiness. I'm 26 years old and have NEVER had a boyfriend, not even a date in my life. I have had sex before, in the dark with my top kept on under the duvet. He knows I'm self concious, and assumes it's because of my weight. I do want to stay there, but I think that if it develops into a serious relationship then how will I cope? I will never let him see me naked whilst I'm overweight and covered in hair, and I am trying to lose some weight in the hope that the PCOS will disappear along with it, but it's a long long journey and time is running out. I like him a lot, but I can't keep making excuses as to why I can't stay over. If I didn't stay over then the only time we'd get to see each other is at weekends in the daylight, and if anything intimate were to happen in the daylight there's no way I can hide the hair.

I do really like him, and I enjoy the time we spend together just getting to know each other, but the longer it goes on for I know one day soon we'll have sex. I want to as much as he does, so I don't feel pressured into it by him at all just incase that's how it comes across. I know I don't need a reason to not have sex, but why should I deprive myself of happiness and initimacy? I'm sure other people on this site must have had a similar experience, so please, any advice would be greatly recieved!

Finally, sorry if the above sounds all over the place, even though none of you know me, I'm still a bit nervous talking about it! xx

 

[BigBurd]

Has your Gp suggested any treatment? have you told your doctor how it's affecting you?

Its a shame that there is so much media pressure for women to wax themselves to an inch of their life. Did you know that in China it is socially accepted that women shave their chins the same as men? You are denying yourself (and clearly you feel that as you tell it in your message here), but you are also denying this man of the chance to prove himself. The right man is going to have to accept you as you are, and believe me there are many loving and caring men that will. I have hirsuitism I shave twice a day (and pluck a lot too) size 10 feet and what I have always referred to as "man hands" and have been happily married for 20 years.
As we age our bodies become saggy, grey and downright tired looking, and yet people stay together in a loving relationhip for years through this so it has to be much more than our physical appearance that makes us desirable. There is nothing wrong with you, you are very sensitive and thoughtfull and any man will be lucky to have you.

xx

On another note studies have shown that yes weightloss and regular exercise improve the symptoms of PCOS.

 

[Mummy2Bslim]

Would you feel confident enough to visit a salon?

Lots of places these days offer a service where they zap the hair and it means that it thins becomes lighter and less noticeable.

My mum has been having this treatment on the hairs on her chin and it's really working, it's like the electrocute them out and it takes the root out to stop the hair growing back, it takes a few treatments to get all of the roots but it's not extremely pricey either.

Or perhaps a professional body wax, a friend of mine owns her own Beauty salon and has many ladies who suffer with excess hair, they are very discreet and waxers have seen it all before. I know you said waxing at home didn't work but perhaps a professional would fare better as waxing properly is difficult.

Something else I would recommend, slightly painful but deffinately works, threading. I get my eyebrows done but on the card the girl who does it offers full facial and body threading. She has a lot of clients who get their bikini line done, I never have I'm a waxer but my eyebrows don't grow back so much so I would assume bikini live would be the same.

Sorry if you've tried all this before but just some ideas

X x x

 

[Linzielegs]

Go to your doctor and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist for your PCOS. They are experts in the cause and not just the symptoms and they have lots of experience dealing with women just like us so have lots of advice on all the aspects of this disease, there is nothing they haven't seen and they are able to test for insulin resistance and treat with metformin if needed, they have special meds to block androgen production and they can help force the start of a period if you are prone to not having them, this helps reduce your risks of endometrial cancer. In the long term an endocrinologist can really help.

In terms of hiding this from your b/f shaving isn't the best way because as you have found already the stubble makes you feel really uncomfortable (though in the long term you may find it doesn't bother him but I totally understand your fears right now). It depends how much money you have to throw at it to be honest, waxing is cheap but hurts I always bleed a little after the hairs come out and after a week it's grown back anyway also after waxing very often for a few months your skin gets damaged and you start getting spots, lots of them. You can also use depilatory creams but I find that my hairs are too thick and they just don't work, with you mentioning the damage you get after waxing I suspect you are in the same boat. The next option is to have it waxed a couple of times so all the hairs grow back with soft tips and then use a home bleach system like Jolen cream to make the hairs blond, they aren't very noticeable until the light hits it a certain way but they are softish so not as easy to feel. Then it starts to get a bit more expensive, salons do lots of different variations but basically they either shoot waves down the hair shafts to break the folicles, which is the way electrolosis and ILP works, they pull out one hair at a time and if your hairs are thick it hurts and will bleed a little but for me it keeps the hair away for just over 2 weeks which is amazing, it costs about £10 for 10 minutes near me which is about enough for my chin, she does another 5 mins for the moustache. On most women it eventually gets rid of the hair completely but they will warn you that most with PCOS will never get that but will get longer and longer between treatments. The other choice is laser, they put a machine on you which has a type of infrared light or laser in it and it kills the hair follicles, doesn't really hurt, can sometimes get a bit warm though, costs a small fortune though and again is not a permanent solution for women with PCOS, on me I got up to 4-5 weeks without hair which was super amazing but at over £150 a treatment I can't afford to keep it up. Some health authorities provide laser on the NHS but unfortunately mine stopped a few years back, I hope you have better luck. Last note before I ramble longer don't bother doing it at home, I've tried epilators, waxes, creams etc and they are hopeless, it can be tricky for beauty therapists to get thick facial hairs out, at home you just wreck your skin. If you are nervous of going to a salon try having your nails done first, it's far less personal and then drop into conversation about your PCOS and ask if they have any ideas about getting rid of the hair, I found it much easier to do it that way and learn to trust the person there.

In the long term an endocrinologist will help manage the symptoms much better but they are your choices for a fix until you get referred and please do pursue the referral, it sounds like you are letting PCOS run your life when it is perfectly possible for it only to be a side note.

Hope that helps some and good luck!!

 

[xMariex]

I had threading done on my eyebrows at a salon. It was dreadful. Yes it removed the hair, yes it hurt much more than plucking or waxing. But it was the skin reaction that was the worst. Waxing and plucking will cause your skin to go red, so did this but it did not worry me too much. Except it last weeks so for the entire time I had less hair, I had very inflamed red skin. Will never have it again.
If I had the money I would go for electroylsis or laser type treatments but both are expensive. Some PCTs give funding for last but apprently the vast majority do not. Are you on the pill at all? I have heard dianette can help lessen facial hair when taken for over 3 months and acne if you suffer from it. That might be worth looking into.

 

[mrsbibbs]

I have pcos and have been on the metphormine trial for about 6 months and its worked for me, it has reduced the hair and if I carry on taking it it will eventually remove it fully but I will have to keep taking it, also it does have side effects which means you cant move very far from the bathroom for the first 3-4 weeks ( it does get better) and it helps with the weight loss as well as the hormones are not as scewwiff as they were before xxx

 

[pomegranates]

Hi Lisa
I was diagnosed really late with PCOS (When I was in my 20's and had put on a load of weight).
I also, like you have really bad hirsuitism. I tried numerous different laser treatments which caused horrendous burns(one of them did), until I came across the one I use currently. After my first treatment, I went from removing hair twice a day, to once every three days and after a number of treatments, was able to go down to removing less than once a week.
The problem is that these treatments are super expensive, only really work if you have dark hair and light skin and because you have PCOS, mean that you do have to have top ups every 4-6 months (ie - it's not permanent) - this depends on each individual though, I'm only going by my experience.
The thing with PCOS is that the larger you are, the more hair you will have. The majority of PCOS symptoms reduce with weight loss (which is ironic as it's very difficult to lose the weight). My recommendation would be to get your GP on board, get referred to an endocrinologist and find a good reputable laser clinic and book an appointment to see what they can offer you. Also think about the weight too, but don't crash diet! Something sustainable is best
If I can help in any way. let me know

 

[bexboo]

hi,
I suffer from pcos and although my body is generally not hairy i have a hairy neck and chin!! well as you can imagine it gets me down so i went to my docs and he did nothing, so i kept going back and i was given creams to try which burnt and caused acne. so i started plucking and waxing myself as i was embarassed to go to a salon and that caused very painful ingrowing hairs. im just about to start laser treatment which i hope will work as im paying myself but i was also told weight loss is the best way to manage these symptoms.
I know how your feeling and if you would like a further chat im here xxx

p.s im sure youre boyfriend will understand if you talk to him ;-)

 

[pomegranates]

Hi Bexboo.
Sorry to hear that your Dr was so naff.
Any chance of getting a different one? I've been through the ringer with my Dr's until I finally found my current one.
Also in regards to laser treatment, although you have to pay, I believe the NHS will cover three treatments for PCOS sufferers.
Do check this out as they are expensive.

Any help you need, do let me know

 

[Roziee]

oh hun- i feel for you, but you really are not alone.

Please go and see a doctor and see what they can do for you.

I had such awful hair on my face, however in dec 2006 i started IPL treatment and would recommend it to anyone and everyone! You can get some great deals on groupon, zippy deals, kgb deals etc type websites so its always worth having a look at them.

they are expensive, but are worth every penny. the hair on my face has reduced so so much- i only go 2-3 times in a year now as opposed to every 6 weeks when i first started out.

and please try to get the support to lose weight- it will help with the PCOS and hair so so so so much.. we are all here for you so if you need our help please let me know.

as for the BF- i would be honest. I know its difficult but dont go any further in to your relationship with lies.. I don't mean to be rude (and i only say this because i am hairy too) but im sure he knows you have hair on your body and if that was a problem then he wouldnt still be with you.. be honest with him and if hes the right guy for you he will help you with anything that you want to change about yourself.

you are right. you deserve all the happiness in this world x

 

[rabbit_wife]

I would be open and tell him before I stay over night.
Next time you meet him for a date you tell him that you like him really much but that there is something you want to let him know
because you have the feeling it is important. And then you tell him about your condition, you don't have to tell him every detail, simply tell him
that it involves also cosmetical problems. Tell him that this illness makes you shy and self conscious and that you want to make sure that he knows about it.
If he fancies you he will like you in spite of that! He will tell you that it doesn't matter and support you whenever you need him.
And regarding the hair removal, I personally find little epilating machines quite helpful! Yes it hurts a bit but the hair stays away for at least 2-3 weeks!
And in your face you should never shave, just pull it out with a tweezer even if it takes a while.
If you shave it you gonna make it look more because the ends are cut straight then and let the hair look thicker.
Shelly x

 

[Miss_daisies]

Hi
I feel your pain I also have PCOS and have quite bad hair. Ive not read the rest of the replies, so this may have been suggested. But....speak to your GP and ask if you area support laser hair removal on nHS. I went through 3 years of it, all paid by NHS. They only do above the neck but its worth asking

Re the other areas, i normally go and get waxed and spend every evening with tweezers in my hand

Sharon x

 

[xxLisa85xx]

Hi everyone,

I'm so sorry I've ignored you all since I originally posted. The reason being, he was an idiot! Age old story - he never called. I thought things were going well, but to cut a long story short, when he realised I wasn't going to sleep with him until I'd plucked up the courage to tell him about my condition he didn't want to know. At least I never had to tell him, that story is saved until I know I've met the right guy!

Anyway, thank you all so so much for your kind responses and suggestions, just reading them now I was waiting for some nasty comments to appear from people who didn't understand, but I'm coming to realise that everyone on this forum is here for the same reason; support.

I have an appointment with the doctor next week as I've been getting periods again, and they're a problem. Very heavy and without sounding gross, I get into quite a mess even with regular toilet breaks. I've been dabbling in calorie counting and light exercise that I can manage without feeling like I'm about to keel over and I'm wondering if a little bit of weight loss has kick started my cycle. I have tried dianette and metformin in the past, but due to an underlying medical condition that has now gone, I had to stop taking them and never tried again. Last time I mentioned this to my doctor, he told me that I was too overweight for the pill, even though I am the same weight now as I was when I first started taking them.

I'm currently unemployed and unable to afford any salon based treatments, but will ask about laser treatment even though whilst researching different options I was put off by the "when laser treatment went wrong" stories!

Thanks again for all your support, and I'll try to keep you all updated xxx

 

[Anna Morey]

hiya just thought i'd poke my head in and say hi - i am too a beardy wonder! mine started after i had my son and its quite impressive. my other half calls me brian blessed. i'm lucky that he loves me warts and all!
putting my beauticians hat on, i was just wondering if you had tried a hair removal cream? they tend to stay off hair growth for longer than shaving because they go into the hair root a little bit, so might be a quick fix if you're staying overnight?


putting my PCOS hat on, most doctors will cite weight loss, theyre nice like that! some contraceptive pills i.e Yasmin they wont give out if your BMI is over 35 because it can cause strokes and heart attacks. maybe ask if you can go on Dianette pill - this contains anti-androgens, and androgens are the little ******* that cause the hair growth. there are also drugs called spirolactane which they might prescribe you if you've been on the pill for 6 months and no reduction in hair.

putting my fellow woman hat on, if he's the right guy, he wont care about your hair

hth x

 

[xxLisa85xx]

Hi Anna,

You're post made me giggle, it's nice to know there are nice guys out there who will accept us for who we are, still trying to find mine!

Will definately try a hair removal cream, I'm sure I've tried them in the past but can't remember what the results were. I've had a bit of good news, I went to the doctors on Friday and struck lucky! A lovely doctor who wasn't judgemental about my size for once. I mentioned I was trying to lose weight and couldn't afford to go to slimming clubs etc. so she asked if I wanted her to weigh me. I got on the scales and I've lost 2st 8lbs since 2006! I know it's 6 years ago, but in that time I hadn't even tried, so now I'm motivated to lose the lot

Unfortunately she wasn't too clued up on PCOS but has arranged a blood test and ultrasound scan and I'll go back to see her to discuss the results and possible treatments. Finally seems like I'm getting somewhere xxx

 

[loobyloo2050]

I suffer with this too....face, chest, bum, excessively hairy legs, hairy arms (thankfully I'm fair haired so my arm hair is very fair), stomach. Not nice!! I feel like a man at times! I see a specialist at the hospital and my GP, they are both excellent, I know this is sometimes hard for others to find I guess I am just lucky, it took me 3 years of fighting with them to get where I am though! My GP gave me something called 'Vaniqa' Cream, it slows the growth, this worked for me but I have very sensitive skin so I had to stop using it. Maybe you could suggest that. They used to tell me that losing weight helps with it, I am lighter than I have been for 5 years almost, and the hair is worse than ever! So can't comment on that. My specialist put me on Spironolactone, its not licensed for use for PCOS, but it does work, I have just started it again after a year of TTC. I am now single so ready to mingle....hopefully a little less hairy!! I was on it for 2 and a half years and it worked fantastic. Hopefully it will be the same this time round. They say Metformin is supposed to help too, I take that anyway, due to type II Diabetes (caused by the PCOS) and insulin resistance, because I take it for that it has no effect on my hairyness. I would suggest talking to your GP, looking around on the net at your local Primary Care Trusts and see if there are any PCOS specialists in the area, usually Fertility specialists are the ones to go for.

Good Luck

 

[sarah.w]

i did IPL for 2 years, and i was virtually hair free, spent thousands on the course. I started to get pigmentation so had to stop but not long after it all came back...with a vengeance. Ive realized that i can try getting rid of it as much as i want but its the hormones that make it grow out of wack. Best thing to do is to get the hormones sorted first because that will make a huge difference to the hair growth. Ive started taking spearmint tea twice a day and didnt notice a difference right away, it took around a week and a half to notice that the hair took more time to grow back.

Heres a video that discusses various treatments, im going to see my GP about it:
100 Hirsutism in Women - YouTube

 

[kjk]

Hi, regarding your hirsutism and emotional feelings. Have you ever thought of seeing a homeopath? There are numerous homeopathic remedies that could work for you. If you did want to give it a go but money is an issue there is a website forum you can use and I'll give you the name if you like. All you have to do is post your symptoms and you will be given a prescription that you can get online. I've been using homeopathy now for almost 4 years and I've never been better!

 

[Roziee]

Please could I have the name of the website?

 

[Roziee]

Please could I have the name of the website?